By: Jennifer Rollin, LCSW-C, Therapist & Founder of The Eating Disorder Center As someone who is pregnant, I've been going to a lot of doctor's appointments lately. They commonly ask about the history of medical issues in my family. However, not once has someone asked me if I have a history of struggling with an eating disorder. Additionally, a few times they have made diet culture comments in my appointments that have the potential to be triggering to people actively struggling with an eating disorder or who have a history of suffering from an eating disorder. I do not find myself feeling triggered by these comments at this point as someone who is recovered from an eating disorder, but I experience them as frustrating. I also want to acknowledge that I have straight-sized privilege, so I know I am getting far less comments than many folks in larger bodies face at the doctors office. I have pictured people actively struggling with eating disorders having to face these same comments from medical professionals and that fills me with concern. Now, I don’t say this to scare people away from going to the doctor. Medical monitoring during eating disorder recovery is important and I have been able to connect and collaborate with some wonderful eating disorder informed doctors. However, there are not enough doctors who are informed about eating disorders and I believe that the consequences can be dire. It’s important to learn how to advocate for yourself at the doctor’s office, as you deserve access to medical care. While no one should have to become their own advocate to receive quality medical care, unfortunately this is often needed. The following are some tips for coping at the doctors when you are in eating disorder recovery. Tips for Coping at the Doctors in Eating Disorder Recovery: 1. Advocate for Blind Weights (Or Skipping the Scale) at the Doctor’s Office. It’s your right as a patient to request blind weight checks, where the number isn’t disclosed to you, or to stand on the scale backward during appointments. While some doctors may not be familiar with this request, it’s crucial to communicate your needs. Additionally, you are also able to deny stepping on the scale entirely. Some nurses may give pushback, so come up with a plan with your eating disorder therapist regarding how you will handle that. You may also find that the weight is included in the patient portal, so preparing a plan for how to handle this (or try to avoid it) in advance can be helpful. If asking for blind weights or avoiding the scale entirely feels intimidating, consider asking your therapist for a note to support you in this request. At The Eating Disorder Center, our therapists are always ready to advocate for our clients. 2. Practice Setting Boundaries. It’s important to note that this is entirely up to your personal comfort level if you share with your doctor that you have an eating disorder. Of course you do not have to disclose your mental health status or history to anyone, if you do not wish to do so. However, it might be helpful to practice setting boundaries at the doctor’s office by sharing things like, “I’m in recovery from an eating disorder, so please do not make comments on my weight or talk to me about food choices.” Of course, we cannot control if others respect our boundaries. However, it’s great practice in standing up for ourselves and becoming our own advocates! Additionally, if you are finding that you are voicing boundaries and a doctor is not respecting them, that is likely a sign that you’d benefit from finding another medical professional (if you are able to access someone else). 3. Create a Cope Ahead Plan With Your Therapist. In Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, we use a skill called a cope ahead plan. This is where you start to explore potential triggers, coping strategies, your support system, and coping statements that you can use when you anticipate that you’ll be in a difficult situation. Having a plan in advance for how you will cope if a doctor’s appointment ends up being triggering can help to instill confidence. You Deserve to Advocate for Yourself at the Doctors! I know it can be hard to find eating disorder informed and compassionate providers. However, I just want to remind you that you deserve to feel safe enough with your providers. If your doctor is not respecting boundaries, is engaging in unhelpful diet or weight related talk, or you are not feeling that they are not empathetic towards you, you are well within your right to find a different provider (if you are able to access one). Your mental health is a crucial part of your overall health and finding providers who are compassionate and knowledgeable is important. Schedule a free 15 min consult for eating disorder therapy in MD, VA, DC, NY, FL, PA, or recovery coaching worldwide. Click here. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, Pennsylvania, and California. We provide eating disorder and EMDR trauma therapy in Rockville, Maryland and virtually throughout Maryland. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
Guest Post By Lauren Hill Dealing with body image during pregnancy and during the postpartum period is difficult for any woman. But when you are in recovery from an eating disorder, adjusting to and dealing with all the bodily changes during and after pregnancy can be completely overwhelming.
As a new mother, and someone who struggled with an eating disorder for many years, I know the struggle of dealing with body image during pregnancy and postpartum very well. At the time I became pregnant, I had four solid years of full recovery under my belt, and thought that my pregnancy would be a breeze body-image wise. Unfortunately, that was not the case. I still struggled with seeing my clothes get too tight, watching my body change, and feeling all of the physical effects of pregnancy. Postpartum, it was difficult to look at my body when it still appeared to be pregnant for a long time, even though it wasn’t. In our society, we are so often bombarded with images and news stories of celebrities “bouncing back” from childbirth and debuting their seemingly perfect bikini bodies on the beach or on the red carpet just weeks after giving birth. It seems that they were never even pregnant at all. We feel the pressure to give birth to our babies and then jump on the bandwagon of diets and exercise plans to lose the baby weight and “get our bodies back”. I am here to tell you that what we see in the media is a lie, and the last thing we need to be focusing on in the early days of motherhood is dieting and punishing our bodies for giving us the most precious gift we will ever receive. If you are pregnant, are a new mother, or plan to become pregnant in the future, here are a few ideas to think about and ways to navigate the pregnancy/postpartum body image challenges: 1. Focus on Body-Acceptance and Body-Appreciation When our bodies are changing, whether it is due to pregnancy or not, it can seem impossible to imagine getting to a place where we can say, “Wow, I LOVE my body”. Instead of focusing on getting to a place of body-love, it can help to rather focus on getting to a place of body-acceptance and body-appreciation. During my pregnancy, it was very helpful to shift my focus from my body’s appearance to the amazing things my body was doing to grow and nourish my baby girl. When I would start to feel uneasy about how my body looked, I would start thanking it for taking such good care of the little baby inside me. After my daughter was born, I began to focus on appreciating my body for being able to produce milk to nourish her, and also just focusing on my caring for my daughter rather than focusing on my body’s perceived flaws. Here are some examples of things you might think or say to yourself: During pregnancy: “I accept that my body is doing what it needs to do to grow a healthy baby.” “I know that my body needs to grow and change to accommodate this little human inside of me.” “I appreciate my body for allowing me to grow and nourish this baby.” Postpartum: “My body just went through growing and birthing a baby and needs time to recover.” “It took my body nine months to expand to accommodate my growing child, and it is going to take even longer for it to get used to its new normal.” “I accept my body just as it is, even though it is different.” “I am so grateful to my body for giving me this precious gift and I won’t punish it by trying to make it look like it used to.” 2. Clean Out the Closet and Go Shopping EARLY! Another thing that is very important is to make sure that you pack up, put away, or get rid of clothes that are already fitted or will become too small BEFORE THEY BECOME TOO SMALL! Even though I knew my clothes were going to get too tight and no longer fit my pregnant body, it was still distressing when I would put them on and notice that they were tighter or had become too small. Go ahead and shop for looser fitting clothes for the earlier days of pregnancy and get some maternity clothes in your closet early so you have options when you need them! (**If finances are a concern, there are a lot of consignment stores that sell maternity clothing, as well as folks on platforms like Facebook Marketplace looking to get rid of their maternity clothing for free or at a low price!) After giving birth, our bodies need time to recover. I was still wearing some maternity clothes six months after giving birth! I also knew that my pre-pregnancy pants would be tight, so I went shopping for new ones and did not even try on the old ones! Make sure that you don’t rush to get back into pre-pregnancy clothes and focus on wearing clothes that fit your body right where it is. That may mean wearing looser fitting clothes or buying a larger size in pants in order to feel comfortable! 3. Focus on your values! Throughout my pregnancy and postpartum journey, I had many moments where I would start thinking about how unhappy I was with my body. In those moments, turning my attention to my values was SO helpful. What is important to me? My daughter, my family, my recovery, my job, my spirituality, joy, and peace. If I continued to focus on my body and wanting to change it, my energy and attention would be taken away from everything I value. Instead of spending energy trying to change your body, focus on what matters to you and make decisions that bring you closer to THOSE things. 4. Get support!! I cannot stress this one enough. After taking a break from therapy for several years, I decided during my pregnancy to go back. Not because things were terrible, but because I knew that I wanted to do everything I could to keep myself in the best shape mentally and emotionally that I could. Whether your support team includes professionals or not, find your “tribe”. These people could be friends, family members, partners, a local mom’s group, church members, or anyone else that you can think of to include. The early days of motherhood are TOUGH and it is so important to have people around who can be a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to hold the baby while you shower and take a nap! You see, you don’t need to get your body “back”. Your body never left! This body is STILL my body. It is strong. It is capable. My body’s so-called 'imperfections' tell the story of the amazing things it has done for me, and so do yours. In fact, I am learning to love and appreciate my body more now than I EVER did before because it gave me the greatest gift I could ever have hoped for, my sweet baby girl. Lauren Hill is a counselor in Wilmington, NC who specializes in working with clients struggling with eating disorders, addiction, depression, and anxiety. She is also in long-term recovery from an eating disorder and volunteers as a Walk Coordinator for the National Eating Disorders Association. She also serves as a social media intern for Jennifer Rollin MSW, LCSW-C. (Follow her for recovery inspiration on Instagram @lauren_hill_lpca) |
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