Helping Kids to have a Healthier Relationship to Food and their Bodies

By: Alison Waszak, Administrative Assistant

Do you remember when you first thought about the food you were eating and/or what your body looked like? 

If you were lucky, you may have made it to adolescence before any of these topics crossed your mind, but unfortunately for most of us, we were pretty young. 

Our relationships with our bodies and food start very early on! The way we hear the people in our lives talk about food, eating, bodies, etc. all shapes our own way of thinking. In addition, diet culture creeps its way into every type of media that we and our children take in, again shaping our thoughts and feelings even if subconsciously.

When talking to and spending time with your children, it’s important to remember that their relationships with their bodies and food are being developed. If you’re a parent and struggle or have struggled with your own disordered eating habits, eating disorder, or body image issues, it may feel overwhelming to think about setting your children up for success in this way, however, you most likely realize just how important it is to try your best to do so. Helping your child have a more positive relationship with food and their body is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.

There are many ways to help encourage healthy relationships with bodies and food. The list can go on and on but here are a few great ways to start:


1. Try to resist the urge to control everything your child eats. 

If your child eats what you consider to be “too much” of something, ask them how they feel after eating. Help them learn to listen to their body’s cues. If they eat a lot of something and end up not feeling great,  use the opportunity for a calm, positive, and curious conversation versus telling them something like “I told you so.”


2. Serve typical dessert foods with meals. 

This one can be super challenging for some, especially if you’ve had it ingrained in you that no one should have dessert until their meal is eaten. Making your child (and yourself) eat certain foods before having a dessert food just places dessert on a higher pedestal, making it more desired because it seems so special and like something that needs to be earned. Offering some sort of dessert at the same time as everything else helps make it more neutral and helps children not see one food as better than the others. It can be hard, but staying calm when your child at the beginning inevitably eats the dessert food first will go a long way in keeping everything that’s being served on the same playing field. 


3. Take shame away from eating.

Everyone has different needs. Your child may have had a busy day and be super hungry one day and seem to eat a lot more than usual. If someone at the table is eating more or less than usual, they shouldn’t be shamed. Avoiding commenting on how much or how little someone is eating is not only good practice for around children but around peers and others as well. 


4. Try your best to keep the discussion around food neutral. 

Try not to use words like “good,” “bad,” or “junk” when discussing food. Keeping foods neutral helps build a positive relationship with food and eating. 


5. Normalize weight gain. 

All bodies change. But kids and teenagers go through a lot of changes in a short time! Try to resist making any comments about your child’s body, even if you feel like the comments are positive. Instead, if your child or teen brings up their body or the changes they’ve experienced, start a positive discussion about how growing is a good thing and how cool our bodies are. If they express any discomfort, talk about possible solutions like finding some different clothes or shoes that fit better, etc. 


6. Serve a variety of foods.

Serving a variety of foods when possible and encouraging everyone to try new things at their own pace can be a great way to help build a healthy relationship with food. Try to resist making anyone try something before they’re ready, as this can end up with continued or even permanent resistance to that one food. 


7. Eat meals together whenever possible.

This one is surely easier said than done! Everyone is busy and it can be hard to find time for everyone in your family to share a meal. But even if the whole family can’t be there, sitting down and eating with your child is a good way to encourage a positive relationship with food. While you're eating (and really all the time,) make sure to keep the discussion away from anyone’s body, food choices, diet, losing weight, etc. 


8. Always remind your child that everything you love about them has NOTHING to do with the way they look!

While positive comments or praise about the way they look or the way their body has changed may seem harmless and come from a good place, comments like these ultimately do more harm to someone’s relationship with their body than good. You can help your child by making sure they always know that you love them for who they are, not what they look like. 

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Looking for more ways to support your loved one through eating disorder recovery? We’ve created a free guide with tips on how to support someone dealing with eating disorder symptoms. Check out the free PDF here: How to Support a Loved One in Eating Disorder Recovery.

The Eating Disorder Center provides eating disorder therapy for children (ages 7+), teens and adults in Rockville, Maryland and virtually throughout Maryland for individuals struggling with anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, OSFED, ARFID, orthorexia, and compulsive exercise. We also have therapists who specialize in eating disorders co-occurring with trauma and eating disorders co-occurring with OCD.

If you suspect your child or teen may be developing an eating disorder or is struggling with a disordered relationship with food or their body, please reach out to us. Help is available and early intervention can save lives. Give us a call at 301-246-6856 or fill out our website contact form.

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Schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation to explore how eating disorder therapy or recovery coaching can help you to find freedom.
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🌟 Available in MD, VA, DC, PA, NY, FL, and CA for eating disorder therapy
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The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping children, teens, and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, Pennsylvania, and California. We provide eating disorder and EMDR trauma therapy in Rockville, Maryland and virtually throughout Maryland and Virginia. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com