How to Cope With Diet Talk Over the Holidays

By: Jennifer Rollin, LCSW-C, Therapist & Founder of The Eating Disorder Center

"I can’t believe I'm about to eat a piece of pie. I'm being so bad today!”

"You look fantastic; have you lost weight?"

Comments about dieting and weight can be unhelpful for everyone. These remarks can be particularly harmful to individuals recovering from eating disorders, children, and anyone working toward a healthy relationship with food and their body. Plus, such talk is often repetitive, boring, and unnecessary.

As an eating disorder and body image therapist, here are a few tips for navigating the inevitable discussions about dieting and weight that often arise during the holiday season.


1. Understand that the topics others focus on shed insight into what they are spending their time thinking about.

When someone comments on your body shape or your food choices, remember that this reveals much more about the person speaking than about you.

Individuals who are highly focused on their own bodies or eating behaviors often comment on others’ bodies and food choices. This can stem from their own insecurities or fixations on weight and appearance.

It helps to recognize that their words often mirror their own struggles or preoccupations, though, of course, it doesn’t make these types of comments okay.


2. Establish clear boundaries.

You don’t have to engage in a conversation about diets if it feels uncomfortable. If the topic feels upsetting or unhelpful, remember that you’re allowed to set boundaries.

This might look like steering the conversation in a different direction, politely asking for certain subjects to be avoided, or simply excusing yourself for a moment.


3. Prepare in advance.

It’s tough to think on your feet when conversations about weight or diets begin. Preparing ahead of time can help: think of supportive people to reach out to (in person or via phone) and consider some responses that feel right for you.


Ideas for Shifting Diet Talk

Here are some phrases you can use when someone starts discussing dieting:

• “I know you’re interested in talking about your diet, but I’m focusing on healing my relationship with food. Can we discuss something else?”
• “This conversation is difficult for me. Can we switch topics?”
• “So, how’s your family doing?”
• “Have you heard of intuitive eating?”
• “I’m grateful to be here, sharing this meal with people I care about.”
• “Food rules can actually be far more unhealthy than any particular food.”
• “Rather than counting calories, I’m thinking about what I have to be thankful for—and it feels so much better.”

Tips for moving away from weight talk:

• “I’d rather not talk about body sizes.”
• “This space is a body-positivity zone.”
• “I’m grateful for a body that takes care of me.”

When someone says, “You look amazing, have you lost weight?” try these responses:

• “Nope!” (with a smile)
• “Nope, I just feel great.”
• “Why would ‘looking good’ be connected to weight?”
• “Not sure—I don’t focus on weight.”
• “Body comments make me uncomfortable. Please do not comment on my body.”

You Deserve to Celebrate the Holidays and Enjoy Food!

The holidays can be challenging enough without the added stress of diet and weight discussions. Setting boundaries and redirecting conversations can be empowering and help you stay focused on what matters. You’re unlikely to look back on a holiday in your 90s and regret enjoying some pie, but you might regret letting food anxiety steal joyful moments.

Think about the memories you want to create this holiday season and take actions that align with your true values (which I know can be so tough when you have an eating disorder voice in your head).
​
If this season feels hard, be kind to yourself and focus on the things that matter. If it feels overwhelming, consider seeking support from an eating disorder and body image therapist. You deserve to make peace with food, your body, and yourself. You deserve not to continue feeling trapped and alone. 

Also, remember: food choices aren’t moral choices. Eating cake doesn’t make you “bad.”

Schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation to explore how eating disorder therapy or recovery coaching can help you to find freedom.
​
🌟 Available in MD, VA, DC, PA, NY, FL, and CA for eating disorder therapy
🌍 Offering recovery coaching worldwide

The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping children, teens, and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, Pennsylvania, and California. We provide eating disorder and EMDR trauma therapy in Rockville, Maryland and virtually throughout Maryland and Virginia. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com