Is Eating Disorder Recovery Worth It?

By: Jennifer Rollin, LCSW-C, Therapist & Founder of The Eating Disorder Center

When I was struggling with an eating disorder, I remember wondering to myself, “would I ever be able to fully recover?” I also remember thinking, “was all of this work that I was putting into recovery even going to be worth it?”

Well, me from the future is here to answer those questions that past me felt so uncertain and scared about. 

I’m now an eating disorder therapist and founder of The Eating Disorder Center, which provides eating disorder therapy in Rockville, Maryland and virtually in Maryland, Virginia, Washington, D.C., Florida, and New York. We also offer eating disorder recovery coaching worldwide.

I was inspired to pursue this work due to my own past experience of struggling with an eating disorder.


My Life In An Eating Disorder

Truth be told, my life in an eating disorder was pretty miserable. I spent most of my time thinking about food and my body. I was terrified of my body changing, taking rest days from exercise, and many kinds of foods. 

I had relationships but I felt like I wasn’t able to be fully present for them and my eating disorder isolated me from other people as I started to avoid things like eating out.

I was completely preoccupied with food and my body, which left little room for anything else.

I was incredibly anxious around traveling and eating out, thus trying to avoid both those things as much as possible.

I became a shell of myself and at times I was agitated and unkind to family members, in part due to malnutrition.

I struggled with a variety of eating disorder behaviors, which I will not go into detail about here so as not to activate others or invoke unhelpful comparisons.

I remember thinking to myself at one point as I walked by a group of diners who appeared to be carefree eating outside at a restaurant, “I can’t even remember what it felt like to eat normally anymore.”

I struggled with a variety of eating disorder thoughts, such as “not feeling sick enough to be truly struggling with an eating disorder,” and the belief that “other people could recover but not me.” To be honest, at times I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to recover. The eating disorder felt like my safety blanket and my best friend and I was terrified about what life would look like outside of an eating disorder.


My Life After An Eating Disorder

My husband, my toddler son, River, and I enjoy breakfast at a crepe place at Bethany Beach. We each have crepes (I got nutella and banana) which we are enjoying on a beautiful early morning at the beach.

Afterwards, we set up at the beach and I read picture books to River as he sat on my lap in a sprawled out lounge chair.

My husband, Mark, and I walk towards the ocean where River dips his toes in. He is not quite standing on his own yet so my husband holds his hands. River giggles with joy as the waves crash up around his waist.

In my eating disorder I believed that if I could “just get my body to look a certain way” or eat “the ‘healthiest’ diet” I would find joy, happiness and belonging. Speaking from my own experience I never truly found joy in shrinking my body. Instead, I became increasingly preoccupied with food and my body and pretty depressed. Yes, there were temporary “highs” and compliments pouring in from others-but I was miserable.


My eating disorder promised me joy-but only served to make me utterly miserable in the long run. So what has truly brought me joy? 

• Listening to my toddler giggle and laugh hysterically. 
• Watching the ocean waves and sitting on the beach.
• Traveling and experiencing new places and tasting all the delicious food.
• My wedding-best day of my life aside from the birth of my son.
• Recovering from an eating disorder and compulsive exercise.
• My work as a therapist-which also brings me so much fulfillment.
• Spending time with friends and family.

Now, things are completely different than when I was struggling with an eating disorder. I am married to the love of my life, we have two children who are the lights of my life, I have a career as a therapist and founder of The Eating Disorder Center that I absolutely love. I also enjoy traveling and exploring new places and eating out at restaurants with friends and family. I no longer am preoccupied with food, my body or exercise. I’m more at peace with myself than I have ever been.


So Did The Work I Put Into Recovery Turn Out To Be Worth It?

One million percent. My eating disorder lied to me and said it would bring me joy, but nothing could compare to the sound of my toddlers laugh, cuddling with my baby, spending quality time with my husband and friends, and meaningful work that I love.

While everyone’s path to recovery is different and I had a variety of privileges including being able to access professional therapy (which is important to note)-I hope that this part of my story helps to provide some inspiration to those who are working on recovery from an eating disorder.

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Schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation to explore how eating disorder therapy or recovery coaching can help you to find freedom.
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🌟 Available in MD, VA, DC, PA, NY, FL, and CA for eating disorder therapy
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The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping children, teens, and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington, D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, Pennsylvania, and California. We provide eating disorder and EMDR trauma therapy in Rockville, Maryland and virtually throughout Maryland and Virginia. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com