Radical Acceptance: A DBT Skill That Can Improve Your Life

By: Jennifer Rollin, LCSW-C, Therapist & Founder of The Eating Disorder Center

When we attempt to grasp for control in situations where we truly have none or resist emotions we cannot change, we often end up experiencing unnecessary suffering. There are many instances in life where we simply cannot alter reality, no matter how much we may wish to.

As a therapist specializing in eating disorders, body image concerns, OCD, and mood disorders I use a range of therapeutic approaches to help adolescents and adults regain control over their lives and reconnect with a sense of purpose. While treatment is always tailored to each individual, I frequently incorporate aspects of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) into my work.

One of the most valuable skills from DBT, known as "radical acceptance," can play a significant role in improving someone’s quality of life and reducing emotional suffering.


Understanding Radical Acceptance

A well-known idea connected to radical acceptance is: Pain + Resistance = Suffering.

When we resist or fight against circumstances beyond our control, we intensify our distress.

It’s natural to want to avoid painful emotions or uncomfortable realities. Many people turn to coping mechanisms like restricting food, bingeing, drinking, or overworking to escape their feelings. While these behaviors may offer temporary relief, they don’t resolve the underlying issues and often lead to greater suffering in the long run.


What Radical Acceptance Means

• Acknowledging reality as it is, without denial.
• Differentiating between what we can and cannot control.
• Adopting a non-judgmental perspective.
• Observing the facts of a situation.
• Letting go of the fight against reality.
• Developing tolerance for discomfort and uncertainty.
• Practicing mindfulness and allowing emotions to exist without immediate reaction.
• Recognizing that emotions, like ocean waves, rise and fall naturally over time.

What Radical Acceptance Is Not

There are common misconceptions about radical acceptance, so it's important to clarify what it does not mean:

• It does not mean viewing situations as “good” or “bad.”
• It does not mean condoning harmful behaviors.
• It does not mean suppressing your needs.
• It does not mean ignoring or denying reality.
• It does not mean staying silent about your thoughts and feelings.
• It does not mean agreement—acceptance and agreement are two different things.

A Practical Example of Radical Acceptance

Imagine you’re driving to an important event, and you find yourself stuck in standstill traffic. You might feel overwhelmed with frustration, thinking, “Why is this happening right now?” or blaming yourself for not leaving earlier. These reactions only add to your distress.

Alternatively, you can practice radical acceptance—acknowledge that the situation is beyond your control and accept your frustration as a natural response. By doing so, you can shift your energy toward something more useful, like listening to a podcast or using the time to check in with a loved one.


Seeking Support

If radical acceptance feels challenging or you’re struggling with mental health concerns, reaching out to a professional can be incredibly beneficial. Seeking help is an act of strength, not weakness.

By practicing radical acceptance, you can build resilience, navigate discomfort, and move toward a more meaningful life.

Journal Prompts:

• Think of a recent situation that triggered a strong emotion (e.g., frustration, sadness, or anger). How did you respond?
• If you had applied radical acceptance at that moment, how might your reaction have changed?
• What fears arise when you consider allowing yourself to fully experience difficult emotions?
• How does your body react when you resist an emotion or situation?
• What thoughts about your body or food do you struggle to accept? How could radical acceptance help shift your perspective?
• What small steps can you take today toward accepting your body, even if it still feels hard?

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The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping children, teens, and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, Pennsylvania, and California. We provide eating disorder and EMDR trauma therapy in Rockville, Maryland and virtually throughout Maryland and Virginia. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com