Tips for Eating Disorder Recovery: When Folks Around You Are Going to the Gym or Are on Diets

By: Megan Samuels, MSW, LCSW-C, Trauma and Eating Disorder Therapist

One challenging part of eating disorder recovery is when people around you are focused on going to the gym or losing weight/being on a diet.  Diet culture and gym culture is a major societal focus right now, which can contribute to the development and maintenance of eating disorders and struggles around body image.  Diet culture has ingrained so many myths that society lives by that brings up challenges in recovery. However, there are ways to learn about these myths and overcome the "societal standards.”

I first want to take some space and just validate how difficult and frustrating this experience can be.  I’ve been there - whether I’m out with a friend or taking a training or class and somehow diet culture weaves its way into the conversation.  

The Eating Disorder Center provides eating disorder therapy for children, teens, and adults in Rockville, Maryland and virtually throughout Maryland for children struggling with anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, OSFED, ARFID, orthorexia, and compulsive exercise. We also have therapists who specialize in eating disorders co-occurring with trauma, OCD, and mood disorders.

Some of the work that we do as eating disorder therapists includes helping folks navigate conversations with other people who may not share similar recovery-oriented values.

Here are some tips on maintaining eating disorder recovery in the midst of being with folks who may have values that do not align with your recovery:


1. Set boundaries.  

This can be a tough thing to do and can be a powerful way to support your recovery.  Setting boundaries could look like having a conversation with your friend before meeting up and saying something like, “I’m really looking forward to seeing you tonight!  I would appreciate it if we didn’t talk about diets or types of food as I’m currently doing a lot of work to support my own relationship with food.”

If you don’t feel comfortable setting a direct boundary, it is also perfectly fine to excuse yourself and say that you have to use the bathroom and leave the room briefly. You do not have to sit there and continue to subject yourself to diet culture conversation.


2. Change the subject.  

Changing the subject can be another way to navigate a conversation with another person when they start talking about the diet that they are on.  This could look like interrupting them and saying, “Have you seen this new movie that just came out?”  You could also change the subject by asking about someone’s pets, interests, etc.  By changing the subject, you are able to divert the conversation away from diet culture which can be soothing for your nervous system and can also strengthen your recovery values.  


3. Find some other friends who may share similar values.

If you notice that you are in a lot of spaces where diet culture or gym culture is prevalent, consider thinking about other areas of your life or other groups of friends who hold similar anti-diet, eating disorder recovery-oriented values.  If you do not know of any spaces in your life that fit this framework, consider reaching out to your eating disorder therapist to inquire about support groups or other ways to support your recovery outside of individual work.


4. Grounding.

There may be parts of yourself (specifically eating disorder parts) who may jump on the occasion to discuss dieting and diet culture.  When these parts get activated and are working against your goals of eating disorder recovery, I invite you to practice some grounding exercises to lessen the intensity of those parts of self who may not be helping you reach your long term goals around food and body image.

Practicing grounding exercises can help you to stay present and in the moment and access the DBT state of mind known as “Wise Mind,” which is a combination of reason/logic and also values/emotions.  From there, you can make a more informed decision about your next step in terms of navigating a difficult conversation or situation with another person that has to do with diet culture.


The Bottom Line:

Although some folks may be on the diet culture bandwagon, it doesn’t mean that it has to negatively continue to impact your recovery in significant ways.  Our therapists and coaches at The Eating Disorder Center would love to help equip you with the tools needed to navigate these tricky situations!

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The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping children, teens, and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, Pennsylvania, and California. We provide eating disorder and EMDR trauma therapy in Rockville, Maryland and virtually throughout Maryland and Virginia. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com