To The Parent Who’s Worried Their College Student Might Have an Eating Disorder

By: Danielle Goury
Reviewed by Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance it’s because something feels off. Maybe you’ve noticed your college student avoiding meals, getting more stressed about food or exercise, or just seeming different than before. You might find yourself wondering whether this is just normal “college stress” or whether it’s something more serious.

When you’re unsure what’s really going on, it can be hard to know how to respond. Wanting to support your child while still respecting their independence can feel especially challenging during the college years. Feeling concerned doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong, it means you’re paying attention.


Why College Can Make Eating Disorders Hard to Spot

For parents, college can create a new kind of distance that makes it harder to know when something is wrong with their child. You’re no longer seeing each other every day, sharing meals together, or noticing small changes in their daily routines or habits. Most of what you know now comes from brief texts, phone calls, and occasional visits home that may not reflect what daily life at school actually looks like.

At the same time, many college students are still trying to figure out how to care for themselves independently. From a parent’s perspective, it can be hard to tell whether changes are simply part of growing up and having new experiences, or signs that something more concerning is going on. 


A College Student’s Perspective

As a college student who has struggled with disordered eating habits myself, I can say that it’s often not as visible as parents might expect. Many students don’t even see their behaviors as problematic at first, especially since irregular eating patterns and constant conversations about diet and exercise have become normalized on many campuses.

What made conversations harder for me wasn’t the concern itself, but when the concern felt like blame or judgment at a time when I was already embarrassed and unsure about what was really going on.  What helped more was being asked how I was doing, having support around regular meals, and feeling like the focus was on caring for me, not fixing or shaming me.


How Parents Can Start the Conversation

Starting a conversation about eating concerns can feel intimidating, but how you approach it matters more than saying the “perfect” thing. 

Here are some helpful guidelines to follow:

• Ask, don’t accuse: Share your curiosity, rather than conclusions. 
• Focus on concern, not control: Emphasize care and concern, rather than seriousness or stress. 
• Don’t make food or weight the only topic: Ask about their stress, sleep, mood, and overall well-being, rather than only focusing on food and weight conversations.
• Listen more than you talk: You don’t need to solve everything in one conversation.
  

Even if your child doesn’t open up right away, knowing you're a safe person to talk to will matter to them.  They will reach out to you when they are ready for help.


What Often Doesn’t Help 

Even though it usually comes from a caring place and good intentions, some reactions or comments can unintentionally shut down the conversation.

Some examples of these include: 

• Commenting on weight or appearance
• Minimizing concerns (“Everyone struggles in college”)
• Offering unsolicited nutrition or diet advice
• Responding with fear, ultimatums, or pressure

Even though they come from a good place, these approaches can make your student feel judged or misunderstood, and may make them less likely to seek support. 


Encouraging Help Without Forcing It

Many college students are actually hesitant about therapy. Some may worry that what they say could be reported back to their parents. Others feel overwhelmed by the logistics of finding care or being pushed into something they don’t feel ready for. 

Parents can help by: 

• Reassuring their child that therapy is confidential (aside from limits to confidentiality around safety concerns)
• Offering to help research treatment options
• Framing therapy as support, not punishment
• Accepting that the answer might be “not yet,” and keeping the door open for a further conversation
• Suggesting that their child get a therapy evaluation by an eating disorder therapist as a first step

Sometimes, knowing help is available – and that it doesn’t have to happen right away – makes it easier for a student to take that step later on. 


Final Thoughts 

If you’re worried about your college student, your concern is valid. Progress doesn't always look like immediate change, and one conversation rarely manages to fix everything. Showing up with patience, care, and openness can make all the difference for your child. 

You don’t have to have all the answers. Being present, supportive, and willing to listen already makes a difference.

Schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation to explore how eating disorder therapy or recovery coaching can help you to find freedom.

🌟 Available in MD, VA, DC, PA, FL, and CA for eating disorder therapy
🌍 Offering recovery coaching worldwide

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Danielle Goury (she/her) is a guest blog writer at The Eating Disorder Center, a specialized therapy practice for eating disorders, body image concerns, as well as co-occurring OCD and trauma. The Eating Disorder Center provides eating disorder therapy for children, teens, and adults in Rockville, Maryland, and nearby areas including Bethesda, Potomac, Gaithersburg, and Olney, as well as virtual therapy across Maryland, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Washington, D.C., Florida, and California.

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The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping children, teens, and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington, D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in Florida, Pennsylvania, and California. We provide eating disorder and EMDR trauma therapy in Rockville, Maryland and virtually throughout Maryland and Virginia. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com