What May Be Keeping You Stuck While In Eating Disorder Recovery

By: Jennifer Rollin, LCSW-C, Therapist & Founder of The Eating Disorder Center

Her knees are pulled up to her chest, as she scrolls through Instagram. An inspirational eating disorder recovery quote pops up. She wants to believe it and to work on recovery, but she has been feeling incredibly stuck lately. Every day is a constant tug of war in her head between the part of her that wants to recover and the part of her that is terrified. The part of her that wants to recover has gotten quieter lately. She doesn’t know how to move forward, and recovery is feeling very out of reach. Sometimes, she questions whether she even should continue on the recovery path at all. 

As an eating disorder therapist and someone who has recovered from an eating disorder, the following are some common “‘stuck points” in eating disorder recovery and some action steps that you can take if you are struggling in these areas.


1. Believing that you are “fine” and therefore don’t need to challenge the eating disorder.

I’ve definitely been there myself in the past, and this is a common struggle for folks in recovery. The eating disorder will try to convince you that you are “fine” and therefore do not need to challenge it. This goes hand in hand with the “not feeling sick enough” belief. The idea that someone “isn’t sick enough” is totally false. Anyone who is struggling with a difficult relationship to food and their body is sick enough for treatment and recovery.

The reality is that we don’t want to wait until someone believes they are “not fine” before they get help and start taking steps towards recovery. 

However, one step that you can take is to write down all the ways that your eating disorder is negatively impacting your life. Then, ask family and friends to add items to this list based on what they’ve observed. You can re-read this list when your eating disorder tells you that “things are fine.”

Additionally, you can tell your loved ones that you are struggling with “feeling like things are fine” and you need them to help in taking recovery steps anyway. You can work with your eating disorder therapist to come up with an action plan and ways that your family and treatment team can support you in following this plan. Some examples might be sending pictures of meals and snacks to family members, doing meals with loved ones or your treatment team, or having your family hide the scale (if you struggle with compulsively weighing yourself).

The truth is that you can “feel that you are fine” AND take steps toward recovery. Support from loved ones, your treatment team, and for some a higher level of care can help you to keep moving forward in recovery.


2. Fear of weight gain and body changes.

This is such a common struggle for those in eating disorder recovery. While not everyone with an eating disorder struggles with this, many do. 

I think often in life and recovery we say, “I’ll wait until the fear goes away to take action,” when the reality is that it’s often the opposite. It’s through taking the action that your brain eventually learns to be less afraid. For example, instead of waiting to not be afraid of weight gain–it’s helpful to comfort your fears head-on, for some in gradual steps. Eventually many recognize that weight gain isn’t something we need to fear. 

You can be afraid of gaining weight AND work to take recovery actions. Even though I know it can be hard. The more that you practice taking recovery actions despite feeling afraid, the more you train your brain and the more natural it can become over time. 

Here are some things that you can do to help yourself in the recovery process if you struggle with a fear of weight gain:

• Work to counter-condition yourself to the harmful societal messaging (e.g., the $60 billion dollar diet industry) that encourages fear of weight gain. Follow pro-recovery accounts on social media, read pro-recovery books and listen to pro-recovery podcasts. It can be super helpful to surround yourself with positive messaging as one way to start to retrain your brain. 
• Learn about anti-fat bias and diet culture–their origins and how our culture perpetuates it.
• Unpack in therapy what’s underneath your fear of weight gain, as well as the underlying functions of the eating disorder and more values-aligned ways to meet those needs.
• Utilize DBT skills (which you can learn more about in therapy), such as radical acceptance and opposite action.
• Buy comfortable, loose clothing during the recovery process.
• Practice leaning on loved ones and your treatment team when the fear of weight gain tries to sabotage your recovery. 
• Unpack in therapy your true values versus the eating disorder’s values.
• Remind yourself of your recovery motivation and everything you could gain by continuing to work on recovery. Consider putting this in the notes section of your phone to re-read during tough moments. You can also share this with loved ones and your therapist so that they can remind you of your motivation.
• Practice some non-engagement responses and the “man in the park” strategy when thoughts about the fear of weight gain come up.
• Remind yourself that if you hate your life after an eating disorder, you can always return to your eating disorder. However, why not give recovery a full shot? Additionally, I don’t know anyone who has fully recovered from an eating disorder who regrets not struggling with it anymore.
• Talk to people who have recovered from an eating disorder to help build motivation for life outside of it.
• Explore ways to feel more connected to your body. Try gentle stretching, restorative yoga, or working with a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and trauma.

 
3. Not reaching out to others for support (if you’re able to access this).

I know that not everyone is able to access support in recovery. If this is the case for you, I'm sending so much compassion your way. You can get creative in terms of trying to access support–The National Alliance for Eating Disorders, for example, frequently offers free support groups.

For those who are able to access supportive loved ones and/or a treatment team, one thing that can keep people stuck is not reaching out for help. Sometimes this can be due to a fear of “feeling like a burden” and other times, it can be related to “feeling like you should do everything in recovery on your own.”

Again, even if you have those thoughts, it’s important to take the opposite action and reach out rather than trying to do everything alone.

Eating disorders are a 24/7 struggle for many, and leaning on your support system (or even just one supportive person) can make a big difference. If you have an eating disorder therapist, you might invite a support person to a therapy session to discuss ways they can help you in recovery.

It’s also important to note that if you’re feeling stuck, it can sometimes be a sign that you’d benefit from additional support. If you’re able to access it, this could mean adding an eating disorder recovery coach to your treatment team, another allied professional, or pursuing a higher level of care. 
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Full Recovery From An Eating Disorder Is Possible!

You deserve to be free from this, to enjoy life milestones without having them colored by an eating disorder, and to have so much brain space back.

If you are struggling with an eating disorder, it’s so important to seek professional help from a specialist.

As always, I'm over here rooting for you!

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Schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation to explore how eating disorder therapy or recovery coaching can help you to find freedom.
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🌟 Available in MD, VA, DC, PA, NY, FL, and CA for eating disorder therapy​
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Journal Prompts for Some of These Recovery Stuck Points

Believing That You Are "Fine" and Don't Need to Challenge the Eating Disorder:

1. Write down the ways your eating disorder impacts your daily life, even in small ways.
2. What do your loved ones notice about your struggles that you may overlook?
3. Reflect on a time when you felt "fine" but later realized you weren’t. What helped you see the truth?
4. What small recovery step can you commit to, even if you don’t feel ready?

Fear of Weight Gain and Body Changes:

1. How has societal messaging about weight shaped your fears?
2. Make a list of the ways your life could improve if you were able to overcome a fear of weight gain.
3. What values do you want to align with in your recovery (e.g., freedom, joy, connection)? How does the fear of weight gain conflict with these values?
4. When have you taken action despite fear in the past? How can you apply this experience to your recovery journey?
5. Reflect on a positive recovery story you’ve heard. What gave you hope or inspiration?

Not Reaching Out to Others for Support:

1. What beliefs hold you back from asking for support (e.g., fear of being a burden)?
2. List the supportive people in your life and ways they could help, even in small ways.
3. Imagine having an ideal support team. What roles do they play, and how do they help you feel safe and motivated?
4. What’s one small way you can practice reaching out for support this week?
5. Reflect on how it felt the last time you received help or validation from someone. What did you learn from that experience?

Reaffirming Recovery Motivation:

1. Write about the life you envision for yourself without an eating disorder. What would you do, who would you be, and how would you feel?
2. What have you already gained through small recovery wins?
3. Create a list of your personal reasons for recovery and add to it over time.
4. Write a letter to your future self who is free from your eating disorder. What would you want them to know about your journey and resilience?

Navigating Feelings of Being Stuck:

1. What does being "stuck" in recovery feel like to you? Are there patterns or specific triggers?
2. Reflect on a time when you overcame feeling stuck in another area of your life. What strategies worked?
3. What small daily practices could help you build momentum in your recovery, even if they seem insignificant?
4. If you feel resistant to recovery, what fears or doubts are at the core of that resistance?
5. Write about what you would say to someone else who is struggling in their recovery. What kind words would you offer to them?

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The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington, D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, and California. We provide eating disorder and EMDR trauma therapy in Rockville, Maryland and virtually throughout Maryland and Virginia. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com