What to Do If You Feel Guilty About Taking Rest Days From Exercise

By: Jennifer Rollin, LCSW-C, Therapist & Founder of The Eating Disorder Center

She is exhausted, but the voice in her head tells her that “she can’t take a rest day,” so she gets dressed for the gym. Her body is fighting her this time and another wave of exhaustion hits her. She remembers what her therapist has said about how it would be helpful to challenge her anxiety around taking days off from exercise. She reluctantly takes off her gym clothes changing back into her pajamas. She is flooded with intense guilt. Everything in her is itching to go to the gym. She is terrified about her body changing and the eating disorder voice in her head is yelling at her. She is struggling with compulsive exercise.

I’ve been there myself in the past and it was exhausting. I remember the crawling out of my skin feeling that I used to get around taking rest days from exercise and how I had trouble giving myself “permission” to eat what sounded good on days when I didn’t exercise. Like the made up example above-I was terrified of my body changing. I was struggling with an eating disorder and compulsive exercise.


I Recovered From Compulsive Exercise & An Eating Disorder

Now, my relationship to movement, food, and myself is completely different from where it was before when I was struggling with an eating disorder. I do not do any formal kind of ‘exercise’ as that’s what feels best for me in this season of life, rather my movement comes from occasionally chasing my toddler around and sporadic family walks in our neighborhood. 

Postpartum with my son when I had loads of free time on maternity leave I also enjoyed doing yoga once a week, however I've found it more stressful to try to fit that into my busy schedule right now so I stopped once maternity leave was over. I am able to travel and not worry about where the nearest gym is. The amount that I move doesn’t impact how much or what I eat. I feel so free and at peace when it comes to my relationship to food and movement. And truth be told, when I was deeply struggling with an eating disorder and compulsive exercise-I never in a million years thought that I could get here.

Eating disorder specialized therapy and recovery coaching were truly game-changers for me and made all the difference. And of course, I had to work to take recovery actions outside of my appointments.


Here’s What I Would Tell Someone Who Is Feeling Guilty About Taking Rest Days From Exercise

Healing your relationship to movement is not easy, however for most people it ends up being SO worth it to make peace with food and your body.

Living with an unhealthy relationship to exercise is uncomfortable and distressing. Taking rest days from exercise (for some) is also uncomfortable and distressing. So either way no matter what you choose there will likely be some distress and discomfort involved-but what if you could feel distress in the direction of your true values and the hope of eventually healing from this?

As Sam Dylan Finch, an eating disorder recovery advocate once said so powerfully “suffer in the right direction.”

It’s also important to note that when you are breaking “exercise rules” from an eating disorder or compulsive exercise pattern you likely will feel discomfort and distress. However, it’s important to remind yourself that this distress is only temporary. The more that you can challenge any exercise rules, the easier this will generally become over time.


Challenge How You Are Thinking About Rest Days

You can start to notice the stories that your mind is telling you about taking rest days from exercise and ask yourself “is this story helpful or unhelpful in getting me in the direction of my true values?” If it’s unhelpful, then it’s so important to challenge it. 

Unhelpful Thought: "I’m so lazy for not exercising today. This is a slippery slope to never moving again."
 
Helpful Thought: "Not exercising today is actually way harder for you. So, this is something to be proud of in terms of helping you to recover. It’s the opposite of lazy. Just because you took a day off doesn’t mean that you will never move again. That’s super black and white-and even if all you did was activities in your daily life (rather than a formal exercise routine) that would be ok too."

Additionally, I also like the strategy of non engagement responses and learning how to practice some mindfulness and cognitive defusion strategies with unhelpful thinking.

For instance, you can think of your disordered thoughts around exercise like a really annoying radio station. Certain actions such as taking a rest day may cause the volume of that radio to turn up. However, the radio can play and you can still take the pro recovery actions. Eventually, over time and with practice this typically gets easier for people.


Remind Yourself Of Your Reasons to Recover

When behavior change is feeling challenging, it can be helpful to reference a list of your motivations for eating disorder recovery. 

Some examples of recovery motivations:

• To truly enjoy my college experience
• To be able to focus in school
• To be able to have kids and a family one day
• To model for my kids a healthy relationship to food and movement
• To have better relationships in my life and with my family
• To not continue to feel so trapped and miserable

Some Reminders If You Are Feeling Guilty About Not Exercising

• You do not need to do any formal kind of exercise or movement.
• Even if you sit on the couch all day-your body still needs plenty of food.
• Taking a rest day is not a reason to cut back on what you are eating or the types of foods you are eating.
• You deserve to eat even if you haven’t exercised-and you never have to “earn” food.
• Food is needed to keep our bodies and brains functioning even when we do not engage in any formal exercise or movement.
• This is a good opportunity to challenge this false link in your head saying that you must exercise to eat enough food-which is a total lie.

Life Is Too Short To Spend The Rest of It Trapped By Compulsive Exercise

You deserve to heal your relationship to food, movement, your body and ultimately yourself.
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It’s important to note that you want to be a body size (we all have a natural set point weight range that our body lies at) that is naturally maintained without engaging in a compulsive exercise routine-this is part of the path towards freedom. 

Additionally, think about what you would want to be remembered for at the end of your life. It’s unlikely you would want people to say “I remember and miss her because of her dedication to the gym.” What are your true values that are important to you? And how might compulsive exercise be sucking away joy from your life?

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Seek Specialized Therapy If You Are Struggling with Compulsive Exercise

At The Eating Disorder Center, we have therapists who specialize in helping people to heal from compulsive exercise and/or an eating disorder. We love to help people to make peace with food, movement, their bodies and ultimately themselves.

We provide outpatient eating disorder therapy for teens and adults in Rockville, Maryland and Arlington, Virginia, as well as virtually throughout Maryland, Virginia, Washington, D.C., Florida, Pennsylvania, California and New York. We also offer eating disorder recovery coaching worldwide. 

Many of our therapists and coaches have personally recovered from eating disorders or have supported a loved one in recovery. Also, we are action oriented therapists and love to set goals and give homework to clients. We are compassionate and warm, yet firm when it comes to helping clients to meet their recovery goals.

Click this link to schedule a FREE 15 min consultation with a therapist to see if it’s a good fit! Spots fill quickly so reach out to reserve yours.

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Schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation to explore how eating disorder therapy or recovery coaching can help you to find freedom.
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🌟 Available in MD, VA, DC, PA, NY, FL, and CA for eating disorder therapy
🌍 Offering recovery coaching worldwide

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The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping children, teens, and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington, D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, Pennsylvania, and California. We provide eating disorder and EMDR trauma therapy in Rockville, Maryland and virtually throughout Maryland and Virginia. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com