Why Recovery Can Feel Harder Before It Feels Easier

By: Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C, Therapist and Founder of The Eating Disorder Center

There are many parts of eating disorder recovery that are not talked about nearly enough. Often, the stories we hear focus on the extremes: the depths of suffering followed by a dramatic, victorious recovery. These narratives can be incredibly powerful and meaningful. They remind people that healing is possible and that life on the other side of an eating disorder exists. However, what these stories sometimes miss are the quieter, messier, and more confusing parts of recovery—the parts that don’t fit neatly into a before-and-after framework.

One of the most misunderstood aspects of eating disorder recovery is the reality that things can feel worse before they start to feel better.

This is not something I share to scare you or to make you feel discouraged. Instead, I share it to help you stay grounded and keep moving forward when recovery feels especially painful. Because when your eating disorder is screaming at you to give up, to go back, or to “throw in the towel,” it can be incredibly helpful to know that what you’re experiencing is not a sign of failure—it’s often a sign that recovery is actually happening.

For many people, there is a phase of recovery where outward behaviors have significantly decreased or stopped altogether. If weight restoration was part of treatment, that may have occurred as well. From the outside, things may look much better. Loved ones might comment on how proud they are or how relieved they feel. But internally, you may feel worse than ever. The thoughts can feel louder, more relentless, and more distressing than before.

This stage can be deeply confusing. You might wonder why, after doing “everything right,” you still feel so overwhelmed. You might question whether recovery is actually working, or whether you were better off before. It can feel incredibly isolating to be struggling so intensely while others assume you’re doing well.

What’s important to understand is that eating disorders often serve a purpose, even if that purpose is harmful in the long run. For many people, eating disorder behaviors develop as a way to cope with difficult emotions, painful experiences, or overwhelming thoughts. Restriction, bingeing, purging, or other behaviors can temporarily numb feelings, create a sense of control, or provide distraction from internal distress.

When you begin recovery and stop relying on those behaviors, the emotions and thoughts they were covering up don’t disappear. Instead, they often come rushing to the surface. Without your eating disorder acting as a buffer, you are left to face feelings that may have been avoided for a long time. This can make recovery feel raw, intense, and exhausting.

On top of this, eating disorders are persistent and protective of themselves. They will say whatever they need to say to stay alive. As you stop listening to the eating disorder’s rules and demands, it often reacts by getting louder, more critical, and more urgent. This doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong—it means the disorder is losing control.

It’s also common during this stage to struggle with black-and-white thinking. You might tell yourself, “If I don’t feel better yet, then recovery isn’t working,” or “If this is how recovery feels, I can’t do it.” These thoughts can be incredibly convincing, especially when you’re already emotionally drained.

But this phase of recovery—where behaviors are reduced and distress feels heightened—is not permanent.

Each time you choose a recovery-oriented action, even when it feels awful, you are slowly rewiring your brain. The neural pathways that once reinforced eating disorder behaviors begin to weaken, while new pathways that support healthier coping start to form. This process takes time and repetition. Healing rarely happens in a straight line, and progress isn’t always immediately felt.

I wouldn’t do this work if people stayed stuck in this stage forever. They don’t. Over time, the thoughts lose intensity. The urges become less constant. Food and body concerns no longer dominate every waking moment. Life gradually expands again, creating space for connection, purpose, joy, and peace.

If you’re in the middle of this stage right now, please don’t give up before you reach that point. You can always return to your eating disorder—but you already know where that road leads. You know the cost. What if you stayed just a little longer this time? What if you kept choosing recovery, even when it feels unbearable?

Trying something different is terrifying, but it is also where real change happens. And it is worth it.

To those of you standing in the middle of this emotional storm—to those taking recovery steps while a loud voice in your head tells you to stop—I want you to know how deeply brave you are. Continuing forward when everything in you wants to retreat takes immense courage. I am sending you so much compassion and respect. You are not weak for struggling—you are strong for staying. And I am so proud of you.

Schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation to explore how eating disorder therapy or recovery coaching can help you to find freedom.

🌟 Available in MD, VA, DC, PA, FL, and CA for eating disorder therapy
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Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C (she/her), is an award-winning eating disorder therapist and the founder of The Eating Disorder Center, a specialized therapy practice for eating disorders and body image concerns. Jennifer uses ACT, CBT, and DBT to help clients find freedom from eating disorders and body image struggles.  Jennifer is recognized as a leading eating disorder expert and was named one of the top professionals in the field by a premier treatment center. She is the recipient of the Best of Bethesda Award for Best Individual Therapist (2025) and the Best of Rockville Award (2020–2024). She helps clients to live full, meaningful lives, beyond food and body image concerns. ​

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The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping children, teens, and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington, D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in Florida, Pennsylvania, and California. We provide eating disorder and EMDR trauma therapy in Rockville, Maryland and virtually throughout Maryland and Virginia. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com