|
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  In my opinion, connection is one of the main reasons that we are here. We are hard-wired to want to connect with others, as back in the day our survival often hinged on traveling in groups. Plus, as infants we relied on our caregivers in order to get our basic needs met. Connection, relationships, and a sense of belonging, are natural and hard-wired human needs. My Eating Disorder Days When I was struggling with an eating disorder, I had other relationships. I had a boyfriend, friends, and family members who I spent time with. The problem was, I wasn’t 100 percent there. And as my illness progressed-I wasn’t even 50% present in my relationships. Out to dinner with my boyfriend, my mind was racing about calories, fat content, and anxiety about gaining weight. I couldn’t tell you conversations that we had or even ‘fun’ memories that were made because they were all so colored by the misery that is living with an eating disorder. My brain was consumed with constant thoughts of food, weight, exercise, and my body-there wasn't room for much else. Eventually, spending time with people became less frequent. People often wanted to get together around food and not feeling ‘in control’ of what would be served (by putting my safe foods together myself) threw me into a panic. My eating disorder began to isolate me from other people, while at the same time promising that it was my ‘friend’ and would provide me ‘comfort.’ Sure, it gave me a false sense of security in the short term-but in the long term it made me increasingly anxious, depressed, and isolated. One of the many devastating things about eating disorders is that they can cause increased disconnection and isolation. My Relationships Now This past year or so has been a tough year when it comes to connection. The pandemic and social isolation has been tough for many-and I definitely missed the in-person connection. That being sad, my relationships are completely different now because I am actually able to be present for them. I have wonderful memories of trips that I’ve gone on with my fiancé, lunches and dinners with friends, and quality time spent with family. I have so much more brain space, my memories are no longer tainted by an eating disorder, and I am able to be much more present in my relationships. Journal Questions: 1.What qualities are important to you in a relationship i.e. friendship/significant other etc? 2.Think of one person in your life (past or present) who you are grateful for. Explain why. 3.Thinking about the relationships in your life-do you long to have more relationships or deeper relationships? If so, how might that benefit you? 4.If you are in recovery, does your eating disorder impact your relationships? How so? 5.Think of 2 people who you could reach out to and connect with and make a plan to do so within the next week (a text asking them how they are doing counts!) 6.Think of 1 recovery goal that you could set, which could have the side benefit of improving your relationships i.e. challenging yourself. to go to lunch with a friend. Book a free 15 min consultation for therapy or coaching! The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, Pennsylvania, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
0 Comments
By Megan Samuels, EDC Intern and Social Work Graduate Student A large motivation for my recovery was wanting to have kids someday. I want to raise kids that practice intuitive eating. I want my kids to watch me appreciate and respect my body, understanding that all bodies are good bodies. I want them to not struggle with food and body image. I am determined to stop the intergenerational cycle of dieting and body hate within my family. I am recovered from an eating disorder now and I wanted to share a few tips for how to cope when you are struggling in recovery with motivation. Lack of motivation can be a natural and a common occurrence during eating disorder recovery. The following are some tips to keep in mind for when you feel like giving up with recovery. 4 Tips for Lacking Motivation in Eating Disorder Recovery Tip 1: Ask yourself why you started recovery in the first place. Spend some time with your journal or a friend and think about when and why you started recovery? What did that look like for you? What were your thoughts about trying to recover from an eating disorder? For me, I was scared to start recovery and I honestly thought that I would never recover. I started recovery because I did not want to continue living a life full of counting calories, restricting, and exercising too much. I was exhausted and eating disorders are exhausting. Tip 2: Remind yourself of what your goal is. Whenever I felt like giving up, I went back to what kind of life I would want for my children. I want to be a good food and body image role model for them. In many ways, that drove my recovery and holds true for a long-term goal. What is your recovery goal? Tip 3: Make a list of what would happen if you gave up on recovery and went back into your eating disorder. I find that this list can be helpful for gaining motivation to recover. Think about what your life would be like if you went back to your eating disorder? How would it be different from your life in eating disorder recovery? This is also a great place to bring in a conversation about values. What did your eating disorder value vs. what does your recovering self value? For me, my eating disorder valued competition and thinness; however my recovered self values vulnerability and health at every size. Tip 4: Remind yourself that recovery is a process that is not always linear. I love the word process. The word process can be loosely defined as a series of steps or tasks in order to achieve something. I look at the recovery process as a fluid term; we are always learning and growing. The raging perfectionist inside of me wanted my recovery to be perfect. I wanted to check all the boxes and then life would be okay again (which is not how recovery, or life itself works unfortunately). I used to have to remind myself that there would be ebbs and flows during the recovery process. Not everyday will be Instagram perfect, and that is SO okay. Often when I would feel unmotivated, I would tell myself that I was failing at recovery. I would need to tell myself that feelings are ever-changing, so I could be unmotivated one minute and totally motivated and committed to eating disorder recovery the next minute. Nothing, not even thoughts and feelings, are permanent. And that was a helpful concept for me to remember. To quote Ellis Grey from Grey’s Anatomy, “the carousel never stops turning.” I bring up this quote not just because I am a huge Grey’s Anatomy fan, but I also think it can be applied to thinking about eating disorder recovery and how thoughts and actions are not permanent. Once you begin recovery, you are on that recovery carousel and it is moving. You have the ability to run on the carousel to move faster, to stay still on the carousel and let it move you, to run backwards on the carousel, or to get off of the carousel. There are options in recovery that are not permanent. Someone can choose to get off the carousel and stop recovery in one moment in a movement of low motivation and then get right back on the carousel to continue eating disorder recovery in the next. It is never too late to get back on the carousel and continue in your recovery journey. Journal Prompt: Where do you think you are, in relation to the carousel, in your eating disorder recovery journey? What would you like your next step to be and why? *I also want to note that the ability to recover from an eating disorder can be impacted by race, socio-economic status, religion, ability, location, among other factors. Not everyone is able to recover at the same pace due to lack of accessible treatment options, insurance, family dynamics, culture, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. This remains a huge problem in the eating disorder community. If you are looking for therapy or recovery coaching worldwide, we can help! We are eating disorder and body image experts. ***Disclaimer: Please note that this blog post is for informational and educational purposes only and is not psychological, therapeutic, or medical advice. Book a free 15 min consultation for therapy or coaching! The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, Pennsylvania, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Megan Samuels, EDC Intern and Social Work Graduate Student  Eating disorder recovery may come with weight changes. It can be scary and overwhelming. It is important to understand that your body is just trying to get you to your set point range. I like to remind clients that your body is on your side, even when it might not feel like it. In the depths of restricting and bingeing, your body is still working to return to its set point because it wants you to live. Your body is constantly trying to keep you alive. Your set point weight range is where your body is working the most efficiently. Your body is always working to get you back to that range to keep you alive and functioning well (Baum, 2019). In an article about set point theory, the author writes that “just as we cannot determine our height, gender, race, hair color, eye color, etc., we cannot determine or force our bodies to be a weight that it does not want to be at” (Baum, 2019). When struggling with disordered eating, I can imagine that it is very distressing to hear that our weight is pretty much out of our control. What’s coming up for you right now as you read this? Maybe you are feeling relief because you can finally stop trying to control your weight. Maybe you are angry because you do believe that you can change your weight. Whatever you are feeling, be there with the feeling and honor it. Bring this blog post and your thoughts and feelings to your therapist or recovery coach to further process what is going on for you. Weight gain may come with negative body image thoughts and a recurrence of eating disorder thoughts. How can you challenge those thoughts? Can you allow the thought to just drift away like a cloud in the sky? A difficult part of weight gain during eating disorder recovery can also be the physical and emotional changes that may occur. You may experience headaches, dizziness, bloating, and/or fatigue as a result of your body trying to figure everything out. It is always advised to gain weight in eating disorder recovery under the supervision of a treatment team who is knowledgeable in the treatment of eating disorders. This will often include a doctor, a therapist, and a registered dietitian. If you are experiencing any symptoms that are concerning, it is important to check-in with your doctor and your treatment team. You do not need to go through this process alone. Note: I want to note that I am writing this acknowledging my privilege of living in a smaller body. Weight gain may be more difficult for people in larger bodies because of shame and stigma surrounding certain body types. Healing Statements for Weight Gain:
References: Baum, Emily (2019, Oct. 9). Body Set Point Theory Explained. Eating Disorder Solutions. https://eatingdisordersolutions.com/body-set-point-theory-explained/ If you are looking for therapy or recovery coaching worldwide, we can help! We are eating disorder and body image experts. ***Disclaimer: Please note that this blog post is for informational and educational purposes only and is not psychological, therapeutic, or medical advice. Book a free 15 min consultation for therapy or coaching! The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, Pennsylvania, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  The scene: many years ago, I sit in my therapist's office in Washington D.C. "My boyfriend invited me to go visit his parents at their house in Rhode Island for the weekend and i'm so stressed out" I said as tears streamed down my face and dripped off of my chin. My therapist looked puzzled. "Are you nervous about meeting his parents?" he asked. "Not really. I'm worried about gaining weight. I won't have control over the food. There's no gym there," I sobbed. "Are you sure there isn't something else that you're worried about?" he asked. My therapist of the past few years was confused. What had started out as me telling him that I was 'trying to lose weight in a healthy way' (whatever the heck that means!) had developed into a full-fledged eating disorder. He didn't treat eating disorders and didn't seem to understand why I was so distraught about a weekend away. That weekend is one of those memories that's embedded and vivid for me. I spent it thinking constantly about food and my weight. My anxiety was at an all time high. I felt completely out of control and terrified. I spent the weekend trying to micromanage my food-often ordering very restrictive things at the restaurants that my boyfriend, his family and I go to. I woke up early to frantically jog outside because I was terrified of taking the weekend off from exercise. I felt uncomfortable being in a bathing suit because all my mind could see is 'flaws.' I was often cold and I was pretty irritable. Needless to say, I didn't have a very good time. The scene: present day, it's a Thursday and I am packing a big gold suitcase for a weekend away. I'm headed to my friend's bachelorette party for the weekend at the beach. I am looking forward to getting to celebrate her and her upcoming marriage-and for a fun weekend. The difference between then (trapped in an eating disorder) and now (free from one) is that I have a ton of freed up brain space. I am not worried about exercising (not planning to do any), food, or my weight. In fact, I am looking forward to getting my favorite peanut butter softserv and Grottos Pizza. I can't wait for the sun, sand, yummy food, and memories made with a good friend and her other friends. I am free. I am at peace with myself. And it feels so incredibly good. Book a free 15 min consultation for therapy or coaching! The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, Pennsylvania, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Megan Samuels, EDC Intern and Social Work Graduate Student  As the vaccines for COVID-19 are becoming more available, things are starting to open up again. People are going to the beach, going on vacations, and hanging out with friends and family members. In some stores, fully vaccinated people are even allowed to not wear masks. It has been 14 months of masks, social distancing, hand sanitizer, and some form of isolation. For an introvert like myself, I enjoyed some aspects of the pandemic, such as being able to stay in my house more often. It was difficult to adjust to not being able to see my friends in person, but I got used to Facetiming, Zooming, and texting friends more often. Now we are in this weird space where a lot of people are vaccinated and starting to go out and about again. What does that mean for introverts like me? A summer full of possibly seeing people in person more often. This can be even more stressful for people who are in eating disorder recovery. As the weather gets warmer, as it is in Rockville, MD, people are wearing less and less clothing. The summer months can be difficult for people in recovery from an eating disorder or any type of body image distress. Showing more skin and less clothing can be scary! The anxiety that comes around body image could even increase eating disorder behaviors. So, what can we do about this? I think the first thing to do is to make sure you have a support system in place. This may look like a therapist, a registered dietitian, a psychiatrist, family members, and friends. Or, this may look like a therapist and a romantic partner. Everyone’s life is so unique and complex that our support systems will reflect that uniqueness as well. Once you have identified your support system, touch base with them. This could look like requesting more therapy appointments during the summer months, having a conversation about coping skills with your therapist, or letting your friends know that summer may bring up some yucky body image thoughts. If your friends do not have experiences with mental health or disordered eating, consider sending them some helpful phrases that they can say to you when you are having a bad body image day. The next thing that can be helpful this summer is to do a stoplight analysis of your recovery journey. When I use this technique with clients, I usually grab a blank piece of paper and fold the paper so there are 3 rows and 2 columns. For the column on the left side, I would draw a green circle in the first row, a yellow circle in the second row, and a red circle in the third row. These three rows will act like a stoplight. The green light would explain what your life would look like if you were doing well in recovery. The yellow light would explain what your life would look like if you started to revert to unhealthy behaviors, including any warning signs of reverting to past behaviors. The red light would indicate what it would mean to be using unhealthy behaviors and that you would need more support. You would write these warning signs in the right column for each corresponding row. After solidifying your support system and going over a stoplight analysis with your treatment team, the next thing that could be helpful for you this summer could be to plan lots of self-care activities. If you are anything like me, I physically have to schedule TV time or meditations into my Google calendar, or I will forget to do them! It can be a good idea to incorporate some sort of self-care practice each week or everyday, depending on what you have going on this summer and what is accessible for you. If you find yourself having a crappy body image day, it can be helpful to look at your calendar and remember that you are watching your favorite movie tonight with your best friend. This particular self-care practice, watching a movie with a friend, can distract you from those pesky body image thoughts and can also provide you a space to process your thoughts with your friend, if you feel comfortable doing so. This summer may look a lot different than last summer in terms of mask usage and social distancing restrictions. Summer also may typically be a challenging time for people working through body image issues. Hopefully, these steps to address body image and eating concerns can help you have a summer that is not consumed by distressing thoughts about food and your body. Recovery from body image and disordered eating is hard work - you got this! If you are looking for therapy or recovery coaching worldwide, we can help! We are eating disorder and body image experts. ***Disclaimer: Please note that this blog post is for informational and educational purposes only and is not psychological, therapeutic, or medical advice. Book a free 15 min consultation for therapy or coaching! The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, Pennsylvania, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  The love of your life just got down on one knee and popped the question you’ve been waiting for ‘will you marry me?’ It feels so surreal and you don’t remember the last time you’ll felt this level of happiness. You are so excited to tell your family and friends. This is a moment you’ll remember for the rest of your life. And then, comes wedding planning. From photographers and makeup artists whose Instagram feeds are filled exclusively with thin brides, to the pressure around ‘looking your best for the big day,’ to dress shopping where most dresses run 3 sizes too big and sales attendants may make diet culture-y comments-there is a hot bed of triggers for those actively in eating disorder recovery. As an upcoming bride, eating disorder therapist, and individual who is recovered from my own eating disorder-I wanted to provide some coping tips for brides to be in recovery. ***It’s important to acknowledge that I live with thin privilege and while I can empathize, I cannot fully understand how difficult it must be to be a bride to be in a larger body in recovery (in our fat-phobic world). 1. Recognize that your body IS NOT the problem. The problem is diet culture and fat phobia in the wedding industry-and world at large. First off, it’s important to recognize that the wedding industry is a multi-billion-dollar industry. There are so many individuals and companies who stand to make a profit off of brides feeling terrible about their bodies. After all, if you felt great about yourself, you would not be tempted to sign up for a “bridal boot camp,” makeover package, or diet program. Thus, it’s important to recognize the diet-culture and body-shaming messages that you are being fed from the wedding industry. I know it may feel tempting to blame your body if sample size dresses aren’t fitting, you are struggling to find a dress you like (or in your size! I’m looking at you retailers who don’t carry larger sizes), or you are struggling with negative body image-however the problem is NOT and will never be your body. The problem is diet culture and cultural fat phobia, as well as the other systems of oppression. 2. Set boundaries as best you can with vendors, sales assistants, and family. Of course, it’s impossible to eliminate diet culture and fat-phobia from your life, so part of the work is going to be helping you to manage triggers as they come up. However, it’s also important to recognize that you deserve to be able to set boundaries with people who are on this wedding planning ride with you. For instance, you could call the bridal shop ahead of your dress fitting and ask that the sales associate not make comments on your weight or body. You also might set boundaries with family members who ask if you plan to lose weight for the wedding-or anyone who is putting lots of appearance based pressure on you. For instance, when I was trying on my wedding dress-the shop owner walked by and commented on how ‘slimming’ the dress was. I know if I was in a larger body, I potentially would have gotten more comments and THIS IS NOT OK. It’s ok and can feel empowering to stand up for yourself and set boundaries. Anyone who is commenting on your weight or body is simply demonstrating their own struggles and what THEY think about. 3. Come up with a cope ahead plan with your treatment team and get more support if you need it. In Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, one skill we might use is a cope ahead plan. This is where you can work with your therapist to think about upcoming potentially difficult situations i.e. dress fittings, cake tasting, and think about how you can best set yourself up for success when it comes to recovery. You might also consider reaching out for more support during this stressful time period i.e. a recovery coach (if you can access this). Part of your cope ahead plan could also look at the media you are consuming around the wedding industry. You action step here could include unfollowing toxic wedding industry diet culture on Instagram or Tik Tok for instance and adding in more positive wedding inspiration. 4. Reconnect with your true values vs. the eating disorder’s values. If you are struggling with eating disorder urges to want to try to ‘lose weight’ before our wedding, I would urge you to imagine yourself and your future partner in your 80s. When you look back on the wedding planning process, do you think you will be fondly reminiscing about skipping dinners out, obsessively exercising, crash-dieting, and being filled with guilt at your cake tasting? It’s far too easy to lose sight of the reason why you are getting married in the first place. Your wedding is a celebration of the love and commitment that you are making to another person. You are lucky to have found love and to be taking a huge step in your life. Instead of focusing on what you wish to change about your body, try to pay attention to the things that you have to be grateful for in the present moment and your true life values. I know this isn't easy, however you can work to practice mindfulness skills when eating disorder thoughts come up. If you are struggling with poor body image or increased eating disorder thoughts leading up to your wedding, you are certainly not alone in feeling this way. Instead of beating yourself up for this, try practicing some self-compassion. Self-compassion is simply extending the same kindness that you would to a loved one. It's understandable that you might be having a tough time during a very stressful period of your life. You are not broken and this doesn't mean that 'you'll never recover.' The Bottom Line Getting married is exciting AND the process leading up to it is stressful. During times of stress eating disorders love to try to swoop in and promise you ‘that they will help you to feel more in control.’ It’s important to remember that your eating disorder is full of false promises and lies. I know it’s not easy, however it is so worth it to practice leaning on healthier more values-aligning coping strategies in times of stress. If you are deeply struggling it’s so important to consider reaching out for professional help-as no one should have to struggle with this alone. Appearance based pressure and diet culture in the wedding industry is wildly problematic, however you can work to take your power back by doing everything that you can to not buy into it. Even if mentally this feels really difficult, you can work to take actions that are in alignment with your true values vs. your eating disorder’s values. Your worth and your value do not come from your appearance or body. And the person who is marrying you hopefully is not marrying you because of what you look like (if they are this is problematic). Your value lies in the kindness that you extend to others, the spark in your eyes when you laugh, the way that you pursue your passions, and your relationships. You are worthy of love and belonging. You are enough, just as you are. Book a free 15 min consultation for therapy or coaching The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, Pennsylvania, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
Kellie Zundel, MSW, LCSW, has now joined The Eating Disorder Center Team-expanding their eating disorder therapy services to Arlington, Virginia. Kellie is new to the team-but has multiple years of experience working in a residential eating disorder facility, working with individuals struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, orthorexia, and OSFED. Kellie provides therapy to clients with eating disorders virtually via video to individuals throughout Virginia-including those residing in McLean, Fairfax, Arlington, Alexandria, and Woodbridge. Contact us: https://www.theeatingdisordercenter.com/contact.html By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  As an eating disorder therapist, one common thing that I hear all of the time, is a person’s belief that they aren’t “sick enough” to have an eating disorder or to need eating disorder treatment. Eating disorders can often be “competitive illnesses.” For instance, your eating disorder may cause you to compare yourself to others who are struggling and will then tell you that you “aren’t sick enough.” Your eating disorder will say this in an effort to keep you trapped and under it’s control. Often for your eating disorder there is no “sick enough.” I’ve heard from people who were near death and still didn’t believe that they were ill. Additionally, some people with restrictive eating disorders struggle with something called “anosognosia” which is a brain-based lack of awareness, where essentially the individual is unable to see that they are ill. This is why it’s so important for concerned individuals to push their loved ones to seek treatment, even if the person declares that they are “fine.” Even if you don’t suffer from anosognosia, if you try to convince yourself that you are “fine” you do not have to take the scary steps towards recovery. So it makes complete sense as to why you might want to believe that “everything is ok,” even if it’s not. Unfortunately, there is also a lot of stigma and misinformation about what someone with an eating disorder “looks like,” or the signs that someone might be struggling. Individuals who are suffering might internalize some of these messages. So today, I want to make a few things clear. · Even if you are considered to be “normal weight” or “overweight” (according to BMI charts, which are hugely problematic and political, but I reference it here to make a point). · Even if you think that you are “too big” to have an eating disorder. · Even if you’ve never had a feeding tube. · Even if your eating disorder never landed you in the hospital. · Even if you “still eat meals.” · Even if you never had medical complications from your eating disorder. · Even if your labs appear “normal.” · Even if you have some days that feel easier than other days. · Even if you think that others “have it worse than you.” · Even if family and friends do not seem concerned about you. If you are struggling with a preoccupation with food and weight-you are “sick enough” and you absolutely deserve to seek treatment and help. Eating Disorder Myth-Busting. Eating disorders are mental illnesses, and we cannot tell how much someone is suffering on the basis of their physical appearance. Additionally, life-threatening eating disorders can impact people of all weights, body types, ages, ethnicities, genders, cultures, and socioeconomic statuses. They do not discriminate. Seek Help I don’t even think I could count the number of times that I’ve worked with clients who say, “but I can’t possibly have an eating disorder because I’m not underweight,” or “It can’t really be that serious because I look normal.” As a therapist, I work almost exclusively with people struggling with eating disorders and they come in ALL different body shapes and sizes. You cannot tell whether someone is struggling on the basis of their weight or appearance. If you have a voice in your head that convinces you to restrict your food, over-exercise, binge, purge, or engage in any other eating disorder behaviors, you are “sick enough” and you deserve to get help and support. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California and New York (NYC) serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Lauren Bickford  As a lil gal I don’t remember a time I didn’t have options to eat a wide variety of foods. I think back to stories my parents filled me in on – the ones where I was about 3 years old and the babysitter received instructions that if I ever got too upset she should just give me some asparagus and I would be happy again. Looking back, even I am perplexed with this seemingly odd child. But then again, if more children were given unlimited permission to eat all types of food, their comfort food when mom & dad are gone might be a vegetable as well. This veggie-lovin trend continued as I was growing up. Olive Garden was always the restaurant I chose for my birthday lunch during elementary school, equally for the unlimited salad and the white chocolate raspberry cheesecake. YUM. During this time though, I started to become observant of the women in my life, of the SlimFast in refrigerators when I would go play at different friends’ houses, of the poking and prodding and sucking in and toning. It was confusing, but it was laying a foundation I would later have to chip away at. As I made my way into the oh so manageable (yeah right) world of junior high my relationship with food began to change. Backing up a little bit, it’s important to keep in mind I was born into a very tall, very slender-bodied family. I’ll never forget the day a boy sitting behind me in English class in 7th grade called me Annie. Now, I wasn’t great friends with him but we had worked in groups together and were in many of the same classes. I asked why he hadn’t called me Lauren, “Don’t you know my name by now?” I was embarrassed and ashamed when he said, “Yeah but you know… Annie… like anorexic.” What did this word really mean? I thought it was “bad skinny” but didn’t know much more about it at the time. So, I would need to change from being “bad skinny” or at least prove to people that I ate. And so, I ate, and ate, and ate. This transition period in my life included moving schools, changes at home, and the usual teenage drama. Amongst all the transitions, food was a constant. Food was comfortable. Food could make everything better. And food could be eaten in excess to a point of feeling numb both physically and emotionally. So, food became my solution. It wasn’t until high school and a well-meaning comment from a great aunt that I started to question the amount of food I would eat regularly. “You’re not so skin and bones anymore.” And so began my first dip into the diet culture pool. When I arrived at college I was welcomed into a sisterhood. Turns out, talking about how much you dislike parts of your body and how many calories you logged in an app is a great way to bond. I bonded. I learned to build a giant and boring salad, ask for plain grilled chicken from the burger station, make microwaved egg whites and broccoli almost palatable with enough salsa, and substitute most of the foods I liked with lower calorie, trendier alternatives. But I was also majoring in biology and learning about how micronutrients work in the body. I was hooked. Nutrition was cool. And maybe, just maybe, there was more to food than calories. I decided in a four-month period during senior year that I liked this whole food thing and was accepted into a graduate program. THIS is what I would do with my life. Grad school was every level of intimidating and confusing. I was surrounded by other individuals that understood food, how to manipulate it for a desired result, and were really heckin’ smart. I’m beyond thankful for the family that was created during this experience. My classmates meant more to me than a study group, and still do. Together we learned how food can help to manage a variety of disease states. We learned how a dietitian can be a crucial member in an athletics department to maximize performance. And we learned about the deadliest of mental illnesses – eating disorders. No matter how much information I consumed on how to utilize food as a tool, the relationship we have with food and the psychology of our food desires and choices was always of interest. My own relationship was evolving with food as well. The relationship was being cultivated rather than ignored; and my body was being nourished and cherished, rather than hated. My friend Emma (shout out Emma!) brought a book to class one day. It was called Health At Every Size. A few weeks later, she brought another book, Intuitive Eating. The more our “nutrish crew” family learned about these topics, and the impact weight-neutral and relationship-focused work can have on eating disorder incidence, the more I knew how I wanted to spend my time as a dietitian. During my first year as a dietitian, I got my first RD job, invested my free time in continuing education, and fell in love with behavioral health nutrition. In this new chapter of life, I found myself in a unique place where my food choices were no longer regularly being influenced by others. I learned which foods I really liked and missed out on in college. I learned which “health foods” I tried out with my nutrition family that I honestly didn’t really enjoy. My self-care became intentional and my plate became all mine. I was able to experience a sense of peace, freedom, and lack of judgement, with food that I hadn't before. This new era was a time I felt like I was finally able to do the dietetics work I had always wanted to. I also become certificated as an intuitive eating counselor. I quickly found out the one thing that makes working as a dietitian in behavioral health the best is that it goes beyond the plate. One of the biggest misconceptions I hear about eating disorders is that they are all about the food. I like to say as much as they are about the food, they're also not about the food. What i've found is that so often the plate becomes a reflection of what's going on in life. I was getting to learn so much more about the people I was working with and really support and encourage them. I got to thinking, is it possible to do just that? To be that person that adds the little something extra to the recovery experience? Turns out: that’s exactly what I find myself doing now. As an eating disorder recovery coach with The Eating Disorder Center, I’m able to supplement the outpatient recovery experience to help clients continue to improve their relationship with food and their bodies. To the people who challenge the truths I’ve come to learn about food and our relationship to it: thank you. You’ve helped me stay on my toes in this diet culture consumed world and better understand what my clients are up against. And to everyone else who actively supported me in getting to this beautiful place in my life: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California and New York (NYC) serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Megan Samuels, Intern for The Eating Disorder Center  Eating disorders are often accompanied with behaviors. Some behaviors include restricting, binging, and/or purging. These behaviors can arise with intense emotions (such as sadness, loneliness, anger, etc.). Eating disorder behaviors are not “fun”. People struggling do not choose to use these behaviors, the eating disorder chooses and that is often already hard-wired into our brains. As the eating disorder evolves, it chooses certain ways to protect us from those intense emotions or anything in life that is too much to handle. An aspect in recovery that you may choose to work on with your therapist or treatment team is understanding the role that your eating disorder played in your life and how it protects/protected you, also acknowledging all of the harmful aspects of eating disorder behaviors. There are a couple of go-to strategies that I like to use, one of which being creating time between the urge and the behavior (also known as the action). This could mean when I recognize the urge to purge, I will decide to do five coping skills first. The hope is that some coping skills could help soothe the intense emotions and use the behavior with more time after the urge or not use the behavior at all. Some coping skills I like to use are coloring, collaging, knitting, texting a friend, and putting my weighted blanket on me. I often like to think of this skill as a pause button. For example, let’s say you get an undesirable grade on an exam. You begin to have feelings of anger (at how difficult the exam was) and disappointment (that you let your parents down). You decide that you are going to go to the nearest grocery store and buy a bunch of binge food and then eat all of it in one sitting. PAUSE (this is where the skill comes in). The first step is recognizing that you have an urge to use a behavior (in this case it is to binge). Next, I like to actually say the word “pause” out loud to myself. This can allow your body to slow down and realize that you have some control in the next few decisions that you make. Then, you separate urge and action. This could be telling yourself that you will call and talk to a recovery friend before going to the store. While you are on the phone with a recovery friend, you can practice talking through your anger and disappointment from the exam and you ride the waves of those emotions without feeling the need to go to the grocery store and binge. After talking to your recovery friend, you may feel much better and continue on with your day, acknowledging how proud you are of yourself for standing up to the eating disorder and working on your recovery journey. Give this skill a try for yourself and see what you think! **Please note that bingeing is a resilient response to coping-even if it's no longer serving you. Try to practice compassion for yourself if you do end up bingeing, rather than beating yourself up. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California and New York (NYC) serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
|
The Eating Disorder CenterWe are a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center in Rockville, Maryland. Archives
August 2021
Categories |
RSS Feed