 Healthy living and the concept of “healthy eating” appears to be our new cultural fixation. We are constantly flooded with articles and advertisements consisting of elaborate juices, recipes, and lists of super foods, that all claim to be able to instill us with optimal health. So what on earth does it mean to “eat healthy?” There are many different camps that have opposing viewpoints as to what constitutes “healthy eating.” Some people have jumped on the “I eat only organic” bandwagon, whereas others are fixated on the concept of “clean eating,” and still others promote the “keto diet" with an almost religious zeal. The reality is that this concept of 'healthy eating,' and putting food into 'black and white' categories can actually be harmful. It can lead to a disordered relationship with food-and for some to an eating disorder (in combination with a variety of other factors i.e. genetics, temperament, trauma, etc). At The Eating Disorder Center, we love debunking this idea of 'healthy eating' (and helping people to redefine it) as well as the idea of 'good' and 'bad' foods. We believe that ALL foods can fit into a healthy diet (barring genuine medical restrictions). Below are two free resources to help you to get started on the path to finding freedom from an eating disorder. Check out this 5 minute video with tips from my awesome associate, Samantha Moshiri, MA, LMFT. Here is a free copy of my "All Foods Fit" Collection featuring interviews from a wide range of experts. 
Are you sick and tired of feeling trapped by an eating disorder? Book your free 15 min consultation with Samantha. What People Are Saying About Samantha "Samantha is one of the best therapists I know. She is not only highly knowledgeable regarding eating disorders and all of the underlying issues surrounding them but she is also a wonderful person who truly shows her clients empathy and care along their entire journey of recovery. If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder having Samantha as your therapist will be an absolute blessing!" -Gabrielle Miller, MA, LMFT, Eating Disorder Therapist "Rarely in life do we encounter people who genuinely care about others and who truly strive to help them. Samantha Moshiri is one of those people. As a gracious, empathetic therapist, she quickly puts others at ease while creating a safe space for productive, meaningful conversation. Sessions provide creative tools to cope with current and future issues, along with the knowledge that help is available, and recovery is possible!! Highly recommend!" -Leslie Volk, MA, LMFT, Clinical Therapist The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
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By: Sarah Rzemieniak  In eating disorder recovery, there are generally lots of fears that will be present and behavioral changes that can feel initially difficult to make. However, ultimately, the challenge of taking recovery actions (thereby challenging the eating disorder), comes down to having to deal with extremely scary and anxiety-provoking thoughts and feelings. At their core, nothing is truly good or bad but it is our thinking, and judgments of our feelings, that make them feel this way. In so many ways, eating disorders help us to cope with our thoughts and feelings to avoid as much pain and discomfort as possible. So, it makes sense that it might feel scary to gradually let go of the eating disorder. If we never break an eating disorder rule, we can attempt to avoid the anxiety, fear, self-criticism and so many other painful thoughts and feelings that come from doing so. When we restrict or binge, we are attempting to, and are often able to temporarily, avoid certain feelings and numb out. If we are always striving for a smaller body, we can try to avoid the thoughts and feelings of self-hate and disgust we feel at the body we have now, or the one we imagine we will end up with. Eventually though, we often realize that the price we’re paying to maintain these coping strategies is too high…. Yet we get stuck sometimes, as the thought of having to face all of the thoughts and feelings that come with recovery can feel scary. This is why finding new ways for dealing with thoughts and feelings is so important on the recovery journey - not just to help find new ways of coping in the world without the eating disorder, but to help make the changes that are a necessary part of the recovery journey feel more tolerable so that you don't give up. Below are some effective new ways for dealing with emotions, especially difficult ones, during eating disorder recovery and beyond. None of these will feel easy or natural at first, but do your best to remember that very few things do.... your eating disorder thoughts and reactions strengthened over time, and so new ways of thinking, reacting and being will also take time to feel easy, natural and automatic. But the journey can be beautiful, and the result will be so worth it. The Concept of Acceptance As hard as this will be, first being willing to feel our feelings, as uncomfortable as they can be, can help so much in our ability to tolerate them, and for them to not feel so overwhelming. At their core, all emotions really are just physical sensations in our body….. Some are more uncomfortable than others, but without the stories we tell ourselves, and the meaning and fears we create around them, they really are just feelings…. And the less we fight them, try to suppress them, try to avoid them, or tell ourselves how terrible it is we’re feeling them, the less overwhelming they will feel, and the sooner they will naturally pass through us on their own. According to The Parable of The Second Arrow, the Buddha said, ‘In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. This second arrow is optional.’ And it is this second arrow that causes our real suffering…. If the first arrow is our natural feelings and emotions that are a part of life, it is the second arrow - the stories, judgements and reactions we have about our feelings - that causes us to truly suffer. It is these stories, judgments and reactions to our original, natural emotions that cause our feelings to feel more overwhelming, as well as cause us to feel further uncomfortable emotions on top of our original emotion such as fear about our sadness, anxiety about our anxiety, anger about our fear, fear about our anger etc. In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, this concept is referred to as ‘The Struggle Switch’. In his book The Happiness Trap, therapist Dr. Russ Harris describes the concept this way: “Have you ever seen one of those old cowboy movies where the bad guy falls into a pool of quicksand and the more he struggles, the faster it sucks him under? If you ever fall into quicksand, struggling is the worst thing you can do. What you’re supposed to do is lie back, stretch out, keep still, and let yourself float on the surface. (Then whistle for your horse to come and rescue you!) This takes real presence of mind, because every instinct in your body tells you to struggle; but the more you struggle, the worse your situation becomes. The same principle applies to difficult feelings: the more we struggle with them, the more trouble we create for ourselves.” As hard as this is, once we understand the benefit for ourselves of working on accepting our feelings just as they are, the practices of Expansion, RAIN, or Dropping Anchor will help us learn and practice how to do this. The Practices of Expansion, RAIN, and Dropping Anchor Not wanting to feel our difficult emotions, trying to avoid them, and telling ourselves scary stories about them is so normal…. We’re rarely taught how to do otherwise, and it really does take practice to be able to deal with them differently. However, learning to do this, being patient with yourself and diligent in applying these practices over and over until they begin to eventually feel automatic, will help so much on the recovery journey. There are many different practices for how to deal effectively with our emotions. However, these three are the ones I have found to be the most helpful in my own life and with coaching clients. If one resonates with you more than the others, you can stick with this one. For very overwhelming emotions though, Dropping Anchor will likely feel the most helpful. 1. Expansion Expansion is a practice from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. In his book The Happiness Trap, Dr. Russ Harris describes the practice as a way for “Making room for unpleasant feelings and sensations instead of trying to suppress them or push them away. As you open up and make space for these feelings, you will find they bother you much less, and they “move on” much more rapidly, instead of “hanging around” and disturbing you.” Expansion involves four steps, and you can use them with any emotion. The four steps are:
Like so many things, Expansion may sound simple but it is definitely not always easy. However, with practice and time, it really does become easier and more automatic, and the benefits are so huge. This practice can be especially helpful for getting through the anxiety, guilt and fear that inevitably comes up when you begin challenging eating disorder rules and noticing changes with your body. This practice was indispensable for me during my recovery, and I still use it almost every day, whether it is with disappointment over changed plans, and argument with my partner, anxiety about an upcoming commitment, or so many other difficult emotions I would have tried to avoid or suppress in the past, thereby limiting my freedom and flexibility and making me feel trapped. 2. The RAIN of Self-Compassion The RAIN of Self-Compassion is an exercise taught by psychotherapist Tara Brach (whose books Radical Acceptance and True Refuge were some of my favorites during my recovery journey). This practice is similar to Expansion, but consciously involves the concept of self-compassion, which I love and believe is so integral to the recovery journey. Like Expansion, RAIN involves four steps. They are:
R — Recognize What’s Going On. Recognizing means consciously acknowledging, in any given moment, the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are affecting us. Like awakening from a dream, the first step out of the trance of unworthiness is simply to recognize that we are stuck and subject to painfully constricting beliefs, emotions, and physical sensations. Common signs of the trance include a critical inner voice, feelings of shame or fear, the squeeze of anxiety or the weight of depression in the body. Recognizing can be a simple mental whisper, noting what has come up. A — Allow the Experience to be There, Just as It Is. Allowing means letting the thoughts, emotions, feelings, or sensations we have recognized simply be there, without trying to fix or avoid anything. When we’re caught in self-judgment, letting it be there doesn’t mean we agree with our conviction that we’re unworthy. Rather, we honestly acknowledge the arising of our judgment, as well as the painful feelings underneath. Many clients I work with support their resolve to pause and let be by silently offering an encouraging word or phrase to themselves. For instance, you might feel the grip of fear and mentally whisper, Yes, or It’s ok, in order to acknowledge and accept the reality of your experience in this moment. I — Investigate with Interest and Care. Once we have recognized and allowed what is arising, we can deepen our attention through investigation. To investigate, call on your natural curiosity - the desire to know truth - and direct a more focused attention to your present experience. You might ask yourself: What most wants attention? How am I experiencing this in my body? What am I believing? What does this vulnerable place want from me? What does it most need? Whatever the inquiry, your investigation will be most transformational if you step away from conceptualizing and bring your primary attention to the felt-sense in the body. When investigating, it is essential to approach your experience in a non-judgmental and kind way. This attitude of care helps create a sufficient sense of safety, making it possible to honestly connect with our hurts, fears and shame. N — Nurture with Self-Compassion. Self-compassion begins to naturally arise in the moments that we recognize we are suffering. It comes into fullness as we intentionally nurture our inner life with self-care. To do this, try to sense what the wounded, frightened or hurting place inside you most needs, and then offer some gesture of active care that might address this need. Does it need a message of reassurance? Of forgiveness? Of companionship? Of love? 3. For Very Strong, Overwhelming Emotions: Dropping Anchor The final practice I want to share for dealing with difficult emotions is called 'Dropping Anchor', and is described fully in this ebook by Dr. Russ Harris. Dr. Harris explains the practice this way: "… no intervention is more effective than what I like to call ‘dropping anchor’ exercises. I call them this because we are basically learning to ‘drop an anchor’ in the midst of an ‘emotional storm’. These exercises don’t require you to speak, or to self-talk, so they are especially useful when you are overwhelmed. Now before we go any further, let’s just be clear: dropping an anchor won’t make the storm go away; it will just hold you steady until the storm passes. The storm may pass quickly, or it may pass slowly, or it may even get worse before it gets better. The anchor holds you steady during this time, so the storm doesn’t sweep you away." Again, we can see that the purpose of this practice is not to control or get rid of our feelings (the struggle switch, or second arrow), but rather to learn how to stay grounded and not be swept away and overwhelmed by them, or exacerbate them. The steps to walk yourself through when you are experiencing a very overwhelming emotion, when Expansion or RAIN may feel less effective, are:
Final Thoughts Like almost everything on the recovery journey, practice and patience is key. You did not develop your eating disorder overnight, and you have likely been thinking your eating disorder thoughts and practicing your eating disorder behaviors for a while. Therefore, it makes sense that any new practice will take time and repetition to feel natural for you. However, I believe that this effort will feel so worth it for you. When we think about it, how much of our lives are dictated by trying to avoid painful and unpleasant feelings? How many things would we try if we could trust that we could cope with whatever painful feelings might come along as a result? When we start to see that with practice we can get better at handling our unpleasant emotions, not only can we begin to feel more able to push ourselves and take scary but meaningful actions on our recovery journey, but we also begin to see our journey is in fact a chance to develop skills for dealing with life that will serve us not just in our recovery, but in our lives beyond. In my own life, all of my greatest coping strategies and my views on life that I am so grateful for are because of what I learned in order to recover from my eating disorder. Are you sick and tired of feeling trapped by an eating disorder? Book your free 15 min consultation with Sarah. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  “I shouldn’t feel so anxious around food.” “This shouldn’t be so hard.” “It’s my fault that I developed an eating disorder.” “I’m just such a shallow person.” I often see clients struggling with feelings of shame around their eating disorders thoughts or behaviors. I’ve also had clients who express feeling like it was some of their own “choices,” which led them to develop an eating disorder. Thus, blaming themselves for having an eating disorder. Struggling with an eating disorder is not a character flaw, rather it is a serious mental illness that no one would choose to struggle with. Unfortunately, there is a lack of public understanding of eating disorders and many stereotypes, which can serve to reinforce feelings of shame and stigma for those who are suffering. Ultimately, I’ve never seen anyone successfully shame themselves into recovery from an eating disorder. Shame actually can cause people to be dishonest, disconnected, and to not reach out for support when they need it. Challenging Some Common Shame-Based Beliefs The antidote to shame is having the courage to be vulnerable. It’s having the strength to reach out to someone and say, “actually I’m not ok." It’s also important to practice self-compassion, especially when self-critical or shame-based thoughts start to come up. The following is an example of how you can start to respond to your eating disorder thoughts, with more compassionate ones. It can be helpful to picture how you might respond to a friend or loved one who was struggling (another exercise that I like is finding a picture of yourself as a child and practicing self-compassionate responses that way). Eating Disorder Thought: “I shouldn’t feel so anxious around food.” Compassionate Response: It’s perfectly understandable that I’m feeling anxious around food. I’m in recovery from an eating disorder and this is how mine manifests. How can I take the next pro recovery action anyways? Eating Disorder Thought: “This shouldn’t be so hard.” Compassionate Response: If recovery were easy, then my therapist and dietitian wouldn’t have jobs. Recovery is definitely tough, but it will get easier with time and practice. Eating Disorder Thought: “It’s my fault that I developed an eating disorder.” Compassionate Response: No one would choose to develop an eating disorder, they’re miserable. The same way that no one would choose to have cancer. However, recovery is a choice that I can keep making in each moment. Eating Disorder Thought: “I’m just such a shallow person.” Compassionate Response: If I were truly shallow, I wouldn’t feel so distressed about the fact that i'm fixating on weight. I’m not shallow, I’m someone who is in recovery from an eating disorder. It’s perfectly understandable that I’m having a tough time with body image, as this is one of my symptoms. What can I do to be kind to myself right now? Eating Disorder Thought: “I’m not even sick enough to have an eating disorder.” Compassionate Response: It doesn’t matter what someone weighs, whether they have “normal labs,” or medical complications, or how often they use behaviors. Everyone who is struggling with an unhealthy relationship to food and their body-is 100% sick enough and deserves to get treatment. It’s Not Your Fault It’s not your fault that you developed an eating disorder. Eating disorders are mental illnesses that are caused by a combination of biopsychosocial factors (genes, temperament, environmental factors) , they are not choices. You are not “weak,” or a bad person for struggling. You are someone who is doing the best you can right now, with the coping strategies that you have. Reaching out for help when you are struggling is true courage. It takes incredible strength to say, “actually I’m not ok and I need support.” If you are struggling with feelings of shame around your eating disorder, you are not alone. The more that we can speak up about eating disorders, the more we can start to shatter the shame and stigma. I love working with people with eating disorders, because they are some of the most compassionate, intelligent, resilient, and brave people that I know. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
 After many applications and interviews, when I interviewed Samantha Moshiri, MA, LMFT, I was blown away by both her amazing clinical skills, knowledge of eating disorder treatment, and passion for the work. I almost hired her on the spot. She previously worked for many years as an eating disorder therapist at one of the top residential treatment centers in Los Angeles, California. Samantha now provides virtual eating disorder therapy throughout the state of California and i'm so excited to share my interview with her. Jennifer: Tell me a little bit about yourself and what got you interested in working with people with eating disorders? Samantha: When I was struggling with my own eating disorder, I went years holding onto the impression that it would be a daily battle I would face for the rest of my life. This felt daunting and often times made me want to give up on my recovery. However, finding and working with a therapist who was recovered from an eating disorder herself and who advocated that full recovery is possible made the effort feel worth it and provided me with the hope I needed to make a full recovery myself. It is now my passion to help provide guidance and to help hold hope for other men and women who are navigating their own journeys to recovery from an eating disorder. Jennifer: What was the most helpful for you in your own recovery journey? Samantha: Working with a therapist who I felt I could trust was integral to my recovery process. I needed a strong and trustworthy bond with my therapist to help combat the lies my eating disorder had been telling me for so long. This trust with my therapist also allowed me to be truthful about where I was in my recovery journey and allowed me to be met exactly where I was every step of the way, which gave me a sense of safety. Jennifer: How is your recovered life different from your life trapped in an eating disorder? Samantha: I conceptualize the difference between my life when I was trapped in my eating disorder versus my life now as the difference between telling myself ‘I’ll be happy when I change some aspect of myself’ to now believing ‘I am enough just the way I am.’ In my eating disorder I felt like I was constantly hoping that by changing my body my life would improve, however, what I know now is that the pursuit of changing my body was in fact a large part of what was making me miserable and not the other way around! For me freedom from dieting has meant freedom to live a full life. I'm now happily married, I'm a proud mom to two kids-and my life is so much more joyful. Jennifer: How would you describe your approach as a therapist? Samantha: I am a person centered therapist, which means I see clients as a whole and not as the disorder or issue they wish to overcome. I believe that in order to heal one must feel seen and understood. Thus, I strive to meet clients with compassion exactly where they are at and provide them with evidence based resources they can learn to use themselves. I also use a health at every size informed approach to treatment, which I believe is crucial when it comes to helping people to recover from eating disorders. Jennifer: What are the most challenging and rewarding aspects of your job? Samantha: The most challenging aspect of being a therapist in the field of eating disorders is continuing to come up against society’s constructs of beauty and happiness. But one of the most rewarding aspects of being a therapist is getting to witness a client start to let go of negative body talk and begin to more fully engage with their lives. Helping people to recover from eating disorders is incredibly rewarding and I can't picture doing anything else. Jennifer: What would you say are some of the benefits of virtual therapy? Samantha: Clients share that they appreciate the convenience of not having to drive anywhere or sit in traffic. For some clients, being able to do therapy from the comfort of their own home feels like an added benefit. It's also great because we can do recovery-related challenges exercises virtually, such as meal/snack challenges, cooking together, helping someone figure out what clothing to get rid of-i'm all about incorporating a creative approach to treatment alongside CBT, DBT, and mindfulness skills. Jennifer: What are your biggest pet peeves about diet culture? Samantha: One of my biggest pet peeves about diet culture is the myth it perpetuates that thinness equates to happiness. In my own recovery as well as working with hundreds of other men and women along their recovery journey I found that dieting is actually associated with more internal distress, sadness and anxiety. While making peace with one’s body (at whatever natural size it is) and food helps combat depression and anxiety. Jennifer: What would be a few of your tips for someone who is struggling with negative body image in recovery? Samantha: The first thing I would want someone who may be struggling with poor body image to know is that struggling with negative body image does NOT mean that you are incapable of fully recovering from an eating disorder. Next it is important to be able to recognize when you are having negative thoughts about your body and actively choose not to engage in eating disorder behaviors despite these negative thoughts. Thoughts can just be thoughts and not be taken out on your body. It's also important to highlight that we are not born hating our bodies, we learn how too. Therefore, just as negative body image (and placing value on weight) can be learned-it can also be unlearned. However, just like learning a new language it takes time and practice-but the payoff is well-worth it. One of my favorite mottos is to meet yourself where you are at so if you are struggling with poor body image please do not beat yourself up and therefore add extra negative self-talk. Instead, when possible, try to counteract a negative thought about your body with either something you are grateful towards your body for or a neutral thought about your body. This does not have to change over night, but by not letting your thoughts lead to eating disorder behaviors as well as practicing reframing your negative thoughts about your body into more helpful (or neutral) thoughts- you will notice a shift in how you feel about your body (and ultimately your life). Book your free 15 min consult with Samantha! The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C, as well as virtually throughout the state of California. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
 When I decided that I wanted to hire a recovery coach to work in my practice, I received many applications and conducted a lot of interviews. After I interviewed, Martha Uhl, I knew immediately that she was the person who I wanted to hire. I asked her to do a "role-play" session with me and she was amazing! I was so impressed with her clinical skills. I was so excited to do an interview with Martha who works as an eating disorder recovery coach with people worldwide via video. Jennifer: Tell me a little bit about yourself and what got you interested in working with people with eating disorders? Martha: I believe that things in my life have happened for a reason. Twelve years ago, I began my own eating disorder recovery journey at The Emily Program, an eating disorder treatment facility in Minnesota. After treatment and going through the recovery journey, I knew that I wanted to help others who were still struggling. After graduating from the nation’s only dietetic practicum program solely focusing on eating disorders, I worked as the Lead Program Eating Disorder Dietitian at The Emily Program in St. Paul, Minnesota (the same organization where I had sought treatment a decade ago). It is there where I recognized that my passion aligned with the individual coaching and counseling aspect of the work. I am grateful to now be working as an eating disorder recovery coach with The Eating Disorder Center. I am so passionate about helping others as they walk their own recovery journey. I feel so fortunate to be able to do this work. It makes me pretty emotional when I take a step back and realize how things have come full circle for me. The hard work is worth it, trust me. Recovery is a beautiful thing. Jennifer: What was the most helpful for you in your own recovery journey? Martha: The eating disorder promises so much: you’ll love yourself more if you just hit this weight, you’ll be happier if you exercise this much more, don’t eat that food it’s bad for us. I wanted to believe everything my eating disorder told me, however it wasn’t until I put all of my trust into my treatment team that I was able to slowly loosen my grip on ED. It was if I were trusting them when they said the sky was blue when I only could see it as grey. Jennifer: How is your recovered life different from your life trapped in an eating disorder? Martha: My eating disorder engulfed me like a dark, suffocating cloud; blurring my judgements and values. My relationships suffered, my grades tanked, I really didn’t have the energy for anything beside laying in bed. Life is not meant to be lived by an unattainable set of rules. Our worth is not defined by the number on the scale. We are so much more than that. My recovery has allowed for the beautiful things to take up space in my life: friends, family, travel, food freedom, new experiences, joyful movement, being present…I could go on and on. I care for my body now. Like actually care. It’s wild and SO damn freeing. Jennifer: How can a recovery coach help someone who is struggling with an eating disorder? Martha: An interdisciplinary team is crucial to eating disorder recovery. It is imperative to enlist all the support you can find. As a recovery coach help you un-peal the layers to find who you authentically are without the eating disorder. We focus on the here and now while working on your short and long-term goals for recovery. I am here to hold you accountable, help you to challenge your thoughts/behaviors, and to offer support. I also will hold hope for your recovery when you have moments where recovery doesn’t feel possible. Jennifer: How would you describe your approach as a recovery coach? Martha: One of my previous clients said it best when she said, “I know eating disorder recovery is my own journey; my own marathon, but it’s so nice to know that you will be at every water station and check point to cheer me on and help me out.” I meet my clients where they are at while in the same breath setting firm boundaries and gently nudging them to challenge their eating disorder thoughts, behaviors and actions. I also believe in the healing power of humor. Humor can improve our emotional perspective when we are faced with demanding and stressful ED thoughts. Most importantly, as a human first and coach second, I do my absolute best to make my client’s feel supported, respected and validated. Jennifer: What are the most challenging and rewarding aspects of your job? Martha: Man. There are so many things I love about my job it’s really hard to pick one. But, if I had to I’d say my favorite part about my job is the relationships with my clients. I feel so honored that they allow me to witness some of their most vulnerable moments. What really gets me is when I get a simple “thank you.” I honestly cannot see myself doing anything else with my career. This is it and I love it. The most challenging part of my job is when a client is not ready for treatment and wants to stay in the eating disorder. It’s really hard to witness, but it’s a reality. The eating disorder can be SO tricky and has a laundry list of empty promises, so it’s difficult to leave when it’s been your way to cope with, well… life. Jennifer: What are your biggest pet peeves about diet culture? Martha: Diet culture makes us believe that the number on the scale or the size of our jeans equate our worth. It makes us believe we are not good enough just as we are. We have to go on detoxes and cleanses to remove the “toxins” (which is the job of our liver and kidneys btw). It is everywhere and affects everyone. One of my many pet peeves about diet culture is this philosophy that there is such a thing as “good” and “bad” food. Who decided this? WHO? I’d love to talk to them because it’s a bunch of BS. When we separate foods into “good” and “bad” categories, we ultimately are telling ourselves we are “bad” if we eat said “bad” food. Character is not based on what someone eats. Foods should not be forced into categories any more than people should. All food fits. There is a time and place for all food. We deserve to enjoy our food, all food. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We also offer therapy for obsessive compulsive disorder. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  She has just finished dinner when the urges begin. It feels like the food in the pantry is calling to her. All she can think about is the package of Oreos, the peanut butter and bread, and the chips. She wants nothing more than to get lost in the cycle of eating. To numb out and to feel that initial pleasure as she washes down a package of Oreos with gallon of milk. But part of her doesn’t want to do this again. She wants nothing more than to be able to stop this terrible cycle. It's so exhausting. And she's always filled with shame and guilt after a binge. Yet, she doesn’t know how to cope with these intense urges. The following are a few of my tips for what to do when you feel urges to binge eat. The PAUSE Skill I developed a skill that people can use, which is called The PAUSE Skill. 1. Pause. Take a moment to pause at the first sign of when you feel the urge coming on. and then take a deep breath. Tell yourself that if you still want to binge after using this skill, you can-but first you are going to try this practice. 2. Allow space. Remove yourself from the kitchen (or whatever environment is triggering the urge, if you can) and go somewhere where you can sit down. Tell yourself that you are not trying to stop the binge, rather you are just practicing delaying action for right now. Ask yourself if you are feeling physically hungry. If so, choose to sit down and to eat something mindfully (ask yourself what taste, temperature, and texture of food you are craving and try to find a good match). If you are not physically hungry, continue with the rest of the skill. 3. Use other coping strategies and coping statements. Figure out what works best for you. Trying to process your emotions in the moment, might not be your best course of action (this would likely be better served at a time when you are not highly triggered to want to binge i.e maybe in therapy or in the morning). When urges are intense, I recommend choosing 5-10 distraction coping strategies that you can do for at least 10 minutes each. You can also tell yourself some coping statements. Here are a few that I particularly like:
4. Separate your “eating disorder self,” thoughts, and urges. Start to notice the things that your “eating disorder self” is telling you and then practice responding from “your true self.” Your “eating disorder self” will always come up with reasons for you to binge eat. Think about what you would tell a friend in a similar situation. Remind yourself that just because you have an urge does not mean that you need to act on it. With practice, you can learn how to sit with and ride out the urges that you experience. Urges typically will naturally diminish on their own. Remind yourself of how you usually feel after a binge episode. Bingeing gives a temporary high or feeling of “comfort” or respite from long-term distress and unhappiness. Typically, people feel physically and mentally terrible after a binge episode. 5. Enlist help from a supportive person. Practice reaching out to supportive people instead of turning towards your eating disorder, even if it’s just to talk to someone as a means of distraction. Reaching out for support can bring your “true self” to the forefront. It’s also so important to practice being kind to yourself. Recognize that you are using bingeing either as a response to physical or emotional deprivation (i.e., you aren’t eating enough throughout the day, you are eating things yet feeling guilty about them, or you are avoiding certain foods), and/or to cope with uncomfortable or unpleasant emotions. You can also remind yourself that you are not saying that you must give up bingeing forever. You can always go back to it. However, try to take it one day (even one moment) at a time. What if you tried something different this time? Recovery Is Possible If you do end up bingeing after taking these steps, it’s important to be compassionate with yourself. You are not alone in struggling with this and you are not simply “lacking willpower.” You are struggling with something that no one would choose. It’s also important that you don’t do anything to try to “compensate” for the binge, as this will only keep the binge/restrict cycle going. Additionally, bingeing is often a resilient response to emotional distress, past trauma, and feelings of low self-worth. You are trying to 'help yourself,' and it might even feel helpful in the short term, however in the long-term bingeing is likely not serving you. If you could ride out the urge even for a little bit, this shows that you were practicing an important skill and with time (and additional support) you can learn how to ride out the urge completely. If you have outlasted the urge to binge completely, take a moment to recognize and acknowledge this. Ultimately, you deserve a meaningful and joyful life. No matter what you may be telling yourself, finding freedom from bingeing is possible. I’ve worked with many people who were able to fully recover from their eating disorders. Full recovery is completely possible. Yes, for you too. Want more resources? Grab your free copy of The PAUSE skill worksheet. Sign up for my training on Finding Freedom From Binge Eating. Book your free 15 minute consult for therapy or coaching. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We also offer therapy for obsessive compulsive disorder. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com By Sarah Rzemieniak  The holidays can be a stressful time for everyone. However, they can be especially stressful if you are in recovery from an eating disorder. Enjoying festive food and drinks and eating together are central parts of most holidays. So, if eating is stressful for you already then it makes sense that the holidays will be a particularly challenging time for you. When I had an eating disorder, I remember struggling so much around Thanksgiving and Christmas. If you have routines and rules around food and feel anxious when you break them, then this pressure to enjoy food and eat with others may feel overwhelming. Below are some tips and tools to help you get through the holidays if you are in eating disorder recovery. I hope they will help you to find a balance that feels good to you between gently pushing yourself while not overwhelming yourself, and that they will give you some tools to help you manage your anxiety so that you can enjoy the holiday season as much as possible. Tip 1: Create An Eating & Coping Plan If you have treatment team members such as a therapist, dietitian or recovery coach, you could discuss with them ahead of time how you can work holiday foods into your meal plan or into manageable goals that gently challenge you. Discuss with them your fears about the foods that will be present, and ways that you can incorporate these foods in manageable and gently challenging ways while not compensating by restricting at your other meals and snacks. You could discuss with them ways to cope with the fear and anxiety that will likely come up, and ideas for who you could reach out to for support. I will discuss these ideas later on as well. You could practice role playing challenging situations you anticipate having to face with your team members or another support person in your life. You could role play talking back to your eating disorder thoughts from your healthy self, where you play your healthy self and your team member or support person plays your eating disorder self. You could also role play how you could respond, either out loud or in your mind, to different triggering comments you anticipate hearing such as comments about others' diets, their weight loss or weight gain, or about how much or little you’re eating or how much weight you’ve lost or gained. Instead of role playing with someone else, you could also journal dialogues between your eating disorder self and your healthy self to prepare yourself for managing eating disorder thoughts you anticipate having, as well as journaling possible responses you could say aloud or in your mind to comments from others you anticipate getting. If you don’t have a treatment team, you could create this eating and coping plan on your own or with a support person in your life. Tip 2: Set Challenging, But Not Overwhelming, Goals All-or-nothing thinking can be very common during eating disorder recovery, and this might make challenging yourself in a manageable way during the holidays more difficult. You might expect yourself to be able to eat completely freely during the holidays, wanting to look or feel like you don’t have an eating disorder at all. However, unless you are really ready for this, this may be expecting too much of yourself and may cause you to feel overwhelmed with anxiety. On the flip side of this, you might expect yourself to eat no more than you normally would when you actually could manage to challenge yourself a little bit. All-or-nothing thinking, which is so common, might make it difficult to challenge yourself in a way that feels good to you - somewhere between giving in to the eating disorder completely and playing it completely safe or else setting goals that are too high and don’t respect where you are in your recovery journey. Try thinking of where you are currently with your relationship with food and, given this, what would be a challenge that feels a bit scary but also a bit exciting and not too overwhelming? If you have a treatment team, or a support person in your life who knows what you are going through, you could brainstorm this with them as well. Setting manageable (gently challenging but not overwhelming) goals ahead of time can help you to feel more prepared and confident when you around food and at meals during the holidays. Tip 3: Practice Self-compassion And Gentleness When Things Don’t Go According To Plan The holidays can be hectic and your mindset, mood and anxiety will likely shift constantly, and so perhaps you will eat more than you had planned for or you won’t be able to challenge yourself as much as you had hoped you could. Do your best to have understanding and compassion for yourself, reminding yourself of how stressful the holidays can be and how you are truly doing your best, and how things not going according to plan is often the rule, not the exception. If anxiety is very high, this might be a good time to reach out to your support person if you have one or to practice some of the coping strategies listed below. Tip 4: Create A List Of Motivating, Inspiring Words To Keep With You Before the holidays begin, try creating a list of quotes or inspiring words that mean something to you, that resonate with you, and that remind you of why you’re challenging yourself as much as you’ve decided to. These can be quotes you find by others, but it can be powerful if they are words you write yourself, from the part of you that wants to get better written to the part of you that is scared to get better and who will likely be scared and anxious during the holidays. Find or write one or two, or a list of them, and keep them where you can read them as needed for comfort and support during the holidays. A piece of paper in your pocket or a list on your phone can work well. Read these words over when you are feeling anxious, scared, discouraged, or at any moment at all, to connect again with the part of yourself who wants to recover, who believes in you, and who wants to use the holiday season as an opportunity to challenge the eating disorder in a gentle, manageable way. You can also read it over if things have not gone according to plan, as discussed above, in order to soothe and comfort yourself. Tip 5: Practice Breathing Exercises To Soothe And Ground Yourself When you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed before and during the holidays, focusing on taking slowed, deep breaths can help calm and ground your body and your racing mind. You could use the breathing exercise described below, find another one you prefer, or if you have a therapist they may be able to suggest one for you. There are many variations. Try doing it, whether alone or with others if it feels possible, when you notice yourself feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or at any time when you feel that an exercise to calm your system would be beneficial. After you do it and feel more calm, this could also be a good time to read or recite one of your quotes to yourself. The breathing exercise that I like and use with myself and with clients is called Anti-Anxiety Breathing, taken from the 8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder Workbook by Carolyn Costin and Gwen Schubert Grabb. The steps for it are:
Tip 6: Visualize Challenges Ahead Of Time It's amazing how powerful our minds are. The power of visualization for helping us to prepare for things, whether it is sports, mastering an instrument, or eating a fear food has always amazed me. If you'd like to learn more about the power of visualization, this is a fascinating article. Visualization can be extremely useful during the recovery journey, helping you to prepare for challenges ahead of time and making it easier for you when you actually do them. To use visualization for recovery challenges, follow the steps below as outlined in the 8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder Workbook by Carolyn Costin and Gwen Schubert Grabb. Do each session in a quiet setting and as many times as you’re able to before the actual challenging event. If you’re working with a therapist, dietitian or recovery coach, they might be able to guide you through one as well.
Tip 7: Reach Out To Someone Having someone who you can turn to for support during the holidays can make such a difference. Whether they are with you in person, or are someone who you can text, this can be such a comfort during the holidays. If they know you are in recovery and you are comfortable doing this, you could talk to them ahead of time about some struggles you anticipate having and how they can best support you. If they don’t know that you’re in recovery, and if you don’t have anyone who knows what you’re going through who could be a good support for you, reaching out to them anyways just to connect or for distraction can still be helpful. If you have a treatment team, this is a great thing to discuss and plan for with them ahead of time - deciding who would be a good support person for you and how you can best use them. Tip 8: Surround Yourself With A Supportive Online Community The holidays can be a time when diet and weight discussions are especially present since food becomes such a focus and since you will be around people you might not always be around. If you find yourself feeling surrounded by talk of food and weight and it feels triggering or distressing for you, do what you can to be around individuals who are supportive of your recovery and whose conversations don’t distress or trigger you. If these individuals are not able to be there in person, creating an online community can be extremely helpful. Your online community might be made up of individuals passionate about body diversity and body positivity, Health At Every Size, Intuitive Eating and anti-diet culture, sharing about their own recovery journeys, or anything else that feels supportive and healing for you. Having their content available to you anytime you log in to your preferred social media apps can be a wonderful way to feel inspired and less alone amidst the diet and weight talk that can be so prevalent during the holidays. In addition, un-following any accounts that make you feel bad about yourself or that you find triggering in any way can also be extremely helpful if you feel up for doing this. In addition, if you feel comfortable saying something to those around you to set a boundary about what is discussed when you're present, Jennifer Rollin MSW, LCSW-C has a wonderful article with practical tips on how to do this here. Tip 9: Take Time-Outs Plan for ways that you can take time-outs as needed during the holidays. Try to take these as needed when you’re feeling especially anxious, overwhelmed, or when know you could just use a quiet moment to yourself. This might look like spending some time in your room alone if you can, going for a quiet walk by yourself or with others who you feel comfortable around, or simply taking a bathroom break if you’re feeling especially anxious or overwhelmed and aren’t able to create a quiet space for yourself in any other way at that moment. Think ahead of time of some tools you could use to soothe and ground yourself during your alone time. If you have a treatment team, you could discuss ideas with them as well. Some ideas could be:
The Bottom Line Wherever you are in your recovery journey, holidays and the festive meals they involve can add extra stress to the already existing daily stress of managing food, weight, and so much more during the recovery process. I hope that the above tools and tips will provide you with some added guidance and support for your holiday season. Wishing you so much warmth, joy and self-kindness this Thanksgiving Sarah provides eating disorder recovery coaching to people worldwide via video. Work With Sarah Book your free 20 minute video consultation. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We also offer therapy for obsessive compulsive disorder. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C One of the challenges of recovery is the seemingly 'small' moments that happen every day. Whether it's struggling to follow your meal plan, facing challenging foods at a restaurant, or sitting with anxiety and thoughts about compensating after a meal-these moments can feel hard and exhausting. It can also be tough as people in your life might not always know how to help when your eating disorder thoughts are loud. I created this eight minute guided meditation (that also includes some recovery reminders) for moments when you are flooded with eating disorder thoughts. You can click the link below to listen! Struggling with constant thoughts about food and your body is exhausting. We can help. Book your free 15 minute consult. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We also offer therapy for obsessive compulsive disorder. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  What if you viewed behaviors such as restricting, bingeing, purging, cutting, and/or using, as resilient attempts to try to regulate emotions, for some to cope with past trauma-as well as a way that you might be trying to communicate deeper messages. Of course, these behaviors may seem helpful in the short-term, but in the long term they do not actually solve the underlying problems, make you dependent on them, and often make you feel increasingly anxious and unhappy. However, when you shame yourself for struggling you typically only make things worse. What if instead, you practiced applying compassion and a mindful curiosity to the behaviors that you are struggling with? You are not ‘crazy,’ or broken, or screwed up, rather you are in pain and trying desperately to cope. ASPIRE I created the acronym ASPIRE as one skill that you can use when you have urges to engage in restricting, bingeing, purging, self-harming, and/or using. It’s important to practice using this skill when you are not feeling triggered, so that it is easier to access in those moments. Just like learning how to ride a bike or play an instrument, it will take practice in order for this skill to start to feel more natural and eventually even automatic. Also, it’s important to note that even if you engage in a behavior after-the ‘win’ can simply be creating space (i.e. pausing) and using this skill beforehand. Telling yourself that you are going to do this skill in place of the behavior will likely be a set-up. So, start by telling yourself that you will practice using this skill before using the behavior. 1. Alternate ways to communicate
2. Self-soothe
3. Practice self-compassion.
4. Invite curiosity.
5. Respond effectively.
6. Enlist support.
Prompt: 1. Make a list of the behaviors that you are currently struggling with and next to each one write the functions or ‘what it does for you.’ 2. Get curious about what the messages behind these behaviors might be-what do you think that you may be trying to communicate (to yourself and/or to others). Reflect on the details of your behaviors to see if you can find any meaning there (ie location that you are self-harming, foods you eating during a binge and ask yourself is physical or emotional restriction of those foods happening etc). 4. Next to each function, list at least one other more values-congruent way that you might be able to get that need met (if it’s not a self destructive desire). 5. Share this assignment with a therapist (if you are looking for support virtually or in Maryland fill out the contact form to schedule a free 20 min consult with a member of my team). You can get your life back and you don't have to continue to feel so trapped. Ultimately, you can find more life-affirming ways to get your needs met, gradually putting your eating disorder (or addiction, self harm, etc) out of a job. Struggling with constant thoughts about food and your body is exhausting. We can help. Book your free 15 minute consult. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We also offer therapy for obsessive compulsive disorder. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Sarah Rzemieniak  I was telling my recovery story on a podcast the other day when I remembered a metaphor I’d thought of to describe my eating disorder many years ago. I remembered how this vision came to me of a bulldog that was inside me. However, the bulldog was not my eating disorder. The bulldog was my inner critic, my perfectionism, my ‘too hard on myself’, what I often called my inner taskmaster. And the eating disorder was the toy I could throw to the bulldog to give it something concrete to focus on rather than attacking me. (Of course, I don’t have anything against bulldogs! But for some reason this was the image that came to me then). Before my eating disorder I felt like this inner critic, this inner unforgiving taskmaster, would attack me for every little thing I did. It was so exhausting, and so disheartening, trying to live in such a way as to never give him reason to attack me - always vigilant against mistakes, always having to give everything 110%. The eating disorder, in all of its pain, exhaustion and isolation, at least was something concrete that could reliably distract the dog. I knew the rules, I knew what to do, and yes the rules might keep escalating but they were predictable and the dog would be distracted from attacking who I was as a person, as long as I got my eating disorder totally right. It was extremely exhausting though, and there was no room for error. One slip-up with the eating disorder and the dog would be on me. But at least I knew what to do to get him off my back again, be the most disciplined, have the most willpower, be smaller, exercise more. But it came to me one day. I was spending so much mental, physical and emotional time and energy dedicated to distracting the dog, but it wasn’t getting me anywhere in the long run. I had to sustain it indefinitely, the dog was never going to get softer on his own, I would never be free from having to distract him or from bearing the brunt of his attacks on me. And I gradually started to realize that the only way I could ever be really free from how bad my inner critic could make me feel, how cruel my inner taskmaster was to me, was to begin putting energy not in distracting it with how ‘disciplined’ and ‘rule-abiding’ I was, but in confronting it and softening it. My new approach did not stop my eating behaviors right then and there. Recovery took time and it was definitely not a linear journey. But I began devoting more and more time and energy to things that I believed would help me to soften that inner critic, so that it would no longer be so painful to try to give up the eating disorder. Before I took this approach, whenever I would try to recover, yes I would have some relief from my eating disorder behaviors that were making me miserable, but having to face my inner bulldog’s wrath towards me as a person often felt even worse. It made the eating disorder seem easier than the shame and hate I felt for myself without it, and so I returned to it over and over. But turning my attention to softening the inner critic bulldog itself - now I finally began to see a light at the end of the tunnel of these constant behaviors…. Challenging my eating disorder began to feel less painful and scary, because the dog wasn’t as ferocious as he used to be. I began meditating, and this helped me to connect with a deeper, wiser, more loving part of myself, that had always been there but had just been buried under all of my fear and self doubt. I began reading self-help books that spoke to me, mainly in the areas of self-compassion, inner critic work, spirituality, and other topics I wanted to develop in as a whole person. And slowly, I started building a foundation on which to connect with a deeper part of myself, and on which to value myself more unconditionally so that even when my inner critic would attack me, I had a loving part of me that could comfort me and gently but strongly talk back to it. I gradually began to develop a sense of myself that was greater and more solid than my achievements or eating disorder. And with time and effort of putting my attention on these things, the bulldog got softer and softer, and the eating disorder behaviors and rules felt more and more unnecessary. Of course, challenging them and the recovery process was still difficult, but I began to strengthen a self-compassionate, wise, loving side of me who could meet my fear and pain in place of my inner bulldog.… and this made such a difference.
The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We also offer therapy for obsessive compulsive disorder. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com |
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