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By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  Eating disorders isolate you. When someone is deep in an eating disorder, it often becomes their primary relationship-to the detriment or exclusion of other relationships. However, as you work on recovery, brain space can open so that you have more room to think about relationships. The following are a few common struggles for some people in recovery as it pertains to relationships and intimacy. However, it’s important to note that everyone’s eating disorder is unique and this won’t apply to everyone. Relationships in Recovery Feeling like a burden to your partner This is a common challenge that I hear all the time with clients. Many people in recovery struggle with this concept of ‘feeling like a burden.’ Someone might feel like they bring ‘too much baggage’ into a relationship (spoiler: there is no such thing as ‘too much baggage’ and if someone feels that way they are not the right person for you). Others express that they feel badly for their partner ‘having to deal with’ their eating disorder. Something I like to say to clients-is the same way someone in a relationship might get cancer and this is not their fault, struggling with an eating disorder is in no way your fault. Part of being in a relationship is standing by someone through joyful moments and supporting them through the difficult ones. Someone who is truly meant to be in your life will not view you as a burden and will be happy to support you. Are they still human? Yes. Is it possible they will feel frustrated at the eating disorder (not you) sometimes. Sure. But you are in NO WAY a burden. People with eating disorders are ultimately some of the most resilient, brave, intelligent, compassionate, and amazing people that I know. There are other qualities that you bring to the relationship which have nothing to do with your eating disorder. Body image and intimacy Something that isn’t talked about enough is how negative body image can impact intimacy in relationships. Some people who are deeply struggling with body image can have difficulty when it comes to undressing in front of a partner, having sex with the lights on, or engaging in sexual contact at all. If this is a struggle for you, it’s important to note that you are so not alone in dealing with this and there are things that you can do to work through this. The first step is having the courage to discuss with your therapist, partner, a friend, or family member how you are feeling about your body and the ways that this is impacting intimacy in your relationship. When we bring difficult thing to the light it helps to take away some of the sense of shame and isolation. It can also be helpful to write out a hierarchy of different situations that provoke anxiety/shame etc i.e. undressing in front of my partner, taking my shirt off, having sex with the lights on, and then to work to very gradually challenge them (ideally with professional support) while also addressing the thoughts, feelings, and emotions. The problem isn’t your body. It’s the stories that you are telling yourself around your body. Through therapy we can work to create new narratives and help you to challenge the behaviors that keep you stuck. If your partner is open to joining you in a therapy session to discuss this, that could also be a helpful stage of your healing process. Trauma and intimacy Many individuals struggling with eating disorders have also experienced trauma. For some trauma survivors, it can be very difficult to engage in sexual activity without feelings of anxiety, panic, or shame. Trauma therapy (EMDR, CPT, Prolonged Exposure) can be a really important step in your healing process. Through trauma therapy, you can build distress tolerance skills (i.e. grounding techniques for dissociation or intense emotions) and then work to gradually exposure yourself (in a hierarchy) to situations that invoke anxiety and/or shame. For instance, one step on your hierarchy could be talking about the idea of being intimate with your partner in a safe space (ideally with a therapist), another step could be lying in bed with your partner fully clothed. If you are struggling with this, you are definitely NOT alone. You are not broken and you can 100% heal your relationship with sex and intimacy. Difficulty eating with your partner or someone you are dating One reason that eating disorders love to isolate you is because relationships and dating often involve eating out, eating food that you haven’t prepared, and flexibility-which are things that eating disorders often hate. It’s important to challenge yourself in a way that feels uncomfortable but not unsafe. Try to reframe these experiences as opportunities to kick your eating disorder to the curb. Each time you break an eating disorder rule it will get easier (even though it feels hard as hell at first). Your payoff will be freedom and connections with other people that you never could have imagined when you were in the depths of your eating disorder. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
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By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  You know who can make a really un-fun travel companion? An eating disorder. At the worst of my illness-I remember crying in anticipation of a weekend away. Being able to prepare my own food and stick to my rigid exercise routine was my safety blanket-and when traveling, it felt like it was being ripped away from me. I spent a huge amount of time and energy thinking about food, weight, and exercise while traveling. It was exhausting. Now, as I’m about to spend a week on vacation with a friend-I am so grateful to be able to actually enjoy vacations (including the food!) The following are a few tips if vacation anxiety is getting the best of you. 1. Think about what you’d want your ideal vacation to look like if you were recovered. Write out what you’d want to be focusing on if the eating disorder was not invited on your vacation. What memories and moments would you want to have? Eating disorders take you away from your true values and tend to cause you to focus on food, weight, and exercise. Work to take some ‘opposite actions’ to eating disorder urges when you are traveling that are in alignment with your vision: i.e. if your eating disorder tells you to restrict or binge at lunch-challenging yourself to nourish yourself appropriately. Example: If your eating disorder is telling you NOT to have a fruity drink-order the fruity drink. I know that taking ‘opposite actions’ is not easy but over time you will create new neural pathways in your brain and the positive behaviors will become more automatic. 2. Lean on your support system. If you are traveling with someone who you feel comfortable talking to about your eating disorder-try sharing with them what would be most helpful. Many people want to help but often they don’t know how. For example, telling your partner: “If I’m having a hard time making a decision on what to order when we’re out to eat, can you choose for me.” If you are working with a therapist, dietitian, and/or recovery coach-you can also email them for support as well. Real talk: reaching out for support when you’re struggling is so strong. 3. Plan what you can in advance. If there are any situations that you can plan to ‘cope ahead’ for in advance with your therapist, dietitian, and/or coach-that would be one idea. It can also be really helpful to pack snacks or buy some when you get there to have on hand. However, it’s good to practice flexibility i.e. saying ‘yes’ when someone asks you to grab ice cream in the afternoon-rather than solely relying on packed snacks. 4. Practice radical acceptance. Radical acceptance is a concept from dialectical behavioral therapy. It doesn’t mean that we ‘like’ a situation rather that we stop fighting against it. Work to radically accept that some things may feel ‘out of control’ on vacation (however that’s just your ED talking) and that you might have increased anxiety. 5. Use those mindfulness skills. I describe mindfulness of your thoughts like this: -Not being mindful of thoughts is like you are outside in the storm in the rain, without an umbrella and you are totally caught in the midst of this raging storm. -Mindfulness of your thinking is like you are watching the storm raging outside from indoors behind a window. The storm is still there but it’s not impacting you as much. Remember that just because you have a thought, does NOT mean that it is true. You can practice mindfulness by visualizing your thoughts being placed on leaves as they float down a stream. Practice responding to your eating disorder thoughts with some healthier statements-and consider making a list in the notes section of your phone so that this list is easily acceptable. Example: Eating Disorder Thought: You are gaining so much weight-you need to eat less. More Helpful Thought: I want to be at whatever weight enables me to travel without guilt, fear, or anxiety. Life is about so much more than my weight. My Hope for You My hope for you is that you get to have a positive experience while traveling and that someday you get to travel completely ED free. Life is far too short to be spending your vacation looking for the nearest gym, obsessing about food, or being bogged down by negative body image. You can totally get there. Just take it one ‘opposite action’ at a time. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  From an outside perspective, someone’s desire to ‘hold onto’ their eating disorder may seem confusing. However, we have to be mindful that eating disorder behaviors serve many functions for individuals (even though they make things worse in the long-term!). Many individuals with eating disorders also struggling with co-occurring illnesses-which can include depression or bipolar disorder (as well as a host of others, but this article will focus on mood disorders specifically). Often one function of eating disorder behaviors is an attempt to regulate emotions/mood. As someone who previously struggled with an eating disorder & depression, I have experienced how difficult this combination can be firsthand. The following are a few tips for those who are struggling with an eating disorder and a mood disorder. 1. Make sure that you are receiving treatment which addresses both the eating disorder and the mood disorder. It’s crucial that if you are struggling with a mood disorder that you try to access treatment which addresses both. This can look like seeking help from a therapist who specializes in these areas. Some individuals also find it to be helpful to be meeting with a psychiatrist and other allied treatment professionals who can help you to address the mood piece as well. There is no shame in taking medication to support your mental health. The same way that there is no shame in using an inhaler if have asthma. Taking a holistic approach i.e. including gentle yoga (if you are cleared by your medical team and tx team to do so!), meditation, and other creative outlets that can help with both your mood and recovery is another option to consider. 2. Practice self-compassion. I know it’s so hard and can feel unnatural in the beginning but beating yourself up for struggling will only serve to make you feel even worse. You can’t hate yourself into healing. Try to be kind to yourself. Struggling with an eating disorder is exhausting. Dealing with a co-occurring mental illness is also exhausting. You are so strong for continuing to try to cope with both. Try to give yourself some credit for all of the effort that you are putting into recovery. 3. Recognize the link between restricting food and mood. Restricting your food may provide a temporary high or numbing affect, but the impact on mood has been well documented. Not eating enough for your energy needs can intensify your mood disorder and make things even worse in the long term. Depression and bipolar disorder can also both impact appetite and may make it feel even harder to eat. In How to Thrive, Expert Tips for Coping with Depression and an Eating Disorder, Nicole Cruz, RD, says, ‘recognize that depression is a change in brain chemistry and to keep the brain functioning at its optimal level we need to maintain appropriate nutrition. In other words, we don’t want to contribute more to the depression and negative thoughts due to low nutrient intake. Cruz also states that, ‘carbohydrates are the primary source of energy to the brain and low carbohydrate diets are highly correlated with depression.' It’s important to make sure that you are getting enough food and adequate nutrients in order to not worsen your mood disorder (and for ED recovery/overall well-being!). The Bottom Line It’s so hard to be dealing with the double whammy of an eating disorder and a mood disorder. You may even tell yourself-well what’s the point of working on recovery from an eating disorder if I’m still going to be depressed (or struggle with bipolar disorder)? Both mood disorders and eating disorders are highly treatable and it’s far harder to address an underlying mood disorder when you are constantly battling eating disorder thoughts in your head. Additionally, I know that there is often a pull to use eating disorder behaviors to gain a (false) sense of control when your mood feels out of control. However, ultimately the deeper you are in an eating disorder-the less 'in control' you actually become. I know there might be part of you that wants to give up, but let this be a sign to keep taking small steps forward (chunking things down into smaller steps can be helpful for recovery). I promise, it will be worth it. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Megan Samuels, Intern For Eating Disorder Center  Often times, holidays can be an anxiety producing time, being around friends, being with family, interacting in large social groups, food, body image, etc. Whether you are going to the beach for the July 4th, spending time with friends, or finding a little relaxation time (which is what I will be doing), I have created some tips for navigating anxiety during this holiday. Read through these tips and depending on what your holiday plans are, take a picture of some of them so they are easily accessible for you to remember throughout the day/evening/weekend of celebration. Tip #1: Take some time for self-care If you choose to stay home for July 4th, consider engaging in some relaxing self-care activities. These could include, drawing, journaling, taking a bubble bath, or curling up with a blanket and your favorite childhood movie (mine is the Sound of Music). It's ok if you don't have 'big plans' for the holiday. Take the time instead, to practice being kind to yourself. Tip #2: Watch the fireworks Watching the fireworks can be another great way to practice those mindfulness skills. Try laying on the grass (or a blanket) looking up at the sky. Let your body relax. Let your body know that it is safe. Notice the colors of the fireworks. What colors do you see? What emotions are evoked from each color? What physical sensations are happening within your body? How does it feel to be lying on the ground? Do you feel more connected to nature? What thoughts are coming up? What do the fireworks sound like? How does it feel to be so close to the ground? Tip #3: Comfort animals July 4th is not a favorite holiday for all living creatures. I know that my dog will pace around the house shaking during the fireworks. Then she will run to the basement and hide in the bathtub. I take this opportunity to sit with my dog and comfort her. As I am comforting her, I also feel comfort from her just by being in her presence. Take this opportunity to connect with your pet. Tell your pet a story or explain to them what you have been up to that day. You can also try resting your head on your pet’s body and listening for their heartbeat or breathing pattern. Does your heartbeat or breathing pattern match the pattern of your pet? How are they similar? How are they different? Don’t have a pet at home? No neighbors with pets around? Some local animal shelters will let volunteers comfort animals during the fireworks on the 4th of July. Look into animal shelters in your area to see if this could be a possibility for you. Tip #4: Notice how you feel in your body Take a moment (or longer) to notice how you feel in your body. How connected do you feel? Describe what you currently feel in your body. What are you wearing? Describe the feeling of the clothing against your skin. How do you feel about what you are wearing? Do you feel calm? Do you feel anxious? Where is that anxiety coming from? How can we calm down? How does your body feel in relation to the weather and the temperature outside? It's helpful to try to practice 'curiosity without judgement' when it comes to noticing body sensations. You can also try doing a meditation to relax your nervous system, apps I like include 'Insight Timer' and 'Headspace.' Tip #5: Eat food that you actually enjoy Eating disorders and diet culture love to tell you that certain foods are 'good' or 'bad,' but this is simply not the case. Today (and everyday) you deserve to eat foods that you actually enjoy-without beating yourself up or trying to 'compensate' in some way later. Food is not just fuel, it's also about pleasure, enjoyment, and social connection. If your eating disorder is trying to give you rules around food today, work to practice an 'opposite action' to whatever your eating disorder urges are. This is true strength. The Bottom Line I hope that these were helpful during your July 4th experience! Gratitude and mindfulness can help you check-in with you body and respect it. It can also act as an opportunity to thank you body for all that it does for you, and for letting you be with friends and watching the fireworks or being snuggled up with your pet at home. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com By Megan Samuels, Intern For The Eating Disorder Center  This can be a tough one for me. I consider myself in strong recovery and yet I will go on a road trip with a friend or on vacation with family and sometimes all hell will break loose. I consider myself a very organized person and I always stick to my calendar. That being said, it makes flexible eating and vacations pretty challenging for me, as sometimes things can come up on vacations and we have to adapt and be okay with that change. I have learned to accept imperfection, while still fueling myself appropriately, no matter where I am (airport, friend’s house, my apartment, train, etc.). Vacations are tricky because food schedules and mealtimes could change due to a number of factors that are most likely out of our control. This often creates an intense feeling of anxiety and frustration. Eating disorder thoughts may even swoop into the game and try to take control. This is the moment where you tell your eating disorder no! You are more powerful than those vicious voices trying to take over your thoughts. I have created a list of tips for traveling with an eating disorder, as this can be an extra challenge that not everyone may understand and help out with. I want to acknowledge that we are all unique humans, and that things that work for me may not work for you, and that’s more than okay! Tip #1: Pack plenty of food. I consider myself the soccer mom who has EVERYTHING in her purse. Snacks, bandaids, lotion, hand sanitizer, a stress ball, etc. I amplify this part of myself when I go on vacation so whenever I am hungry I will have access to food. This sometimes means buying food at a hotel or a local supermarket and carrying food around with my throughout the day in case I get hungry and I am unable to go buy food. Tip #2: Advocate for yourself. I cannot stress this more. I also acknowledge how difficult this can be, especially in the moment. Advocating for yourself may look like telling whoever you are with (friends, family, etc.) that you are hungry and need something to eat. This could also look like you walking to a nearby restaurant (if you are able to incorporate movement into your daily life) to grab food if no one else is hungry but you are (which is SO okay, everyone gets hungry at different times throughout the day). Tip #3: Reach out for help. You have a support system, use them. It’s as simple as that sometimes. People love you in this world and want to help you. Whether this looks like a family member, a friend, or a therapist, there are people rooting for you and ready to help you even when it doesn’t feel like it. Asking for help can sometimes be the bravest (and sometimes scariest) thing that you do but it is important and can have positive effects on your relationships and your recovery. Tip #4: Believe in yourself. You are always more powerful than you think, and I do not say this lightly. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you will fuel your body and enjoy food today. The act of looking at yourself and saying an affirmation is so special and it can make all the difference. If believing in yourself is too much, remember that I believe in you and I believe that you can provide your body with food, love, and respect today and everyday. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  For those who are struggling with an eating disorder, depression, anxiety, or another mental illness, there are often a variety of urges that they experience. For example, people who are experiencing depression may feel the urge to isolate from others. Individuals who are struggling with anxiety might experience the urge to avoid situations that cause them to feel anxious. Individuals who are suffering from an eating disorder may experience the urge to social occasions that involve food. These urges come from a good place, as the individual is often trying to “feel better.” Using the behavior may even feel like it 'helps' in the short term. However, in the long-run they only serve to make the person feel even worse. One Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skill that can be useful is called “opposite action.”
An Example of Opposite Action Emotions are important in that they provide us with information and signals about things to pay attention to in our lives. There are times when an emotion “fits the facts of a situation” and motivates us towards effective action. For instance, feeling anxiety about an important exam could serve as a motivator to study. Or feeling anxious while walking home alone at night could help someone to maintain a better awareness of their surroundings. However, there are times when an emotion “does not fit the facts of the situation” and when acting on an emotional urge is not effective. For instance, feeling intense anxiety about eating dinner at a restaurant does not “fit the facts of the situation,” and could cause someone to feel the urge to avoid socializing and going out to eat. Over time, this avoidance behavior only serves to make the anxiety worse. Additionally, it could start to negatively impact an individual’s relationships. In this instance, it would be helpful to note that you are experiencing the urge to avoid eating out and to the take an “opposite action,” which is more in alignment with your life values. For instance, pushing yourself to have meals out at a restaurant (despite feeling afraid), would be taking an opposite action. Seek Help If you are struggling with a mental illness and are having trouble putting this exercise into practice, it’s so important to reach out for help from a trained professional. Seeking help when you are struggling is a sign of true strength, not weakness. Additionally, it’s important to note that behavior change can take time. I often ask that clients begin to challenge themselves in gradual and manageable steps. Further, it’s helpful to be compassionate with yourself, wherever you are in your healing journey. If you are interested in learning more about DBT, I’d recommend checking out The DBT Skills Workbook. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  On the outside, her life looks great. She can’t imagine how it would feel if people knew about her secret. During the day she only allows herself small portions of “healthy foods.” She promises herself that she will stick to this plan. Yet, at night she finds herself standing at the kitchen counter eating globs of peanut butter from the jar, finishing off trays full of cookies, cartons of ice cream, and loaves of bread slathered in butter and jelly. She emerges from a food daze feeling painfully stuffed, ashamed, and terrified. She purges-, either through vomiting or through self-punishing exercise. Afterwards, she feels a momentary sense of calm, followed by feelings of guilt and shame. She promises herself that tomorrow she will stick to her “healthy diet,” and the terrible cycle continues. Tips for Recovery The diet/binge/purge cycle is exhausting. It’s also filling some kind of emotional need for you. Through therapy, you can work to break free from this cycle and uncover the joyful life that you deserve. The following are a few of my tips for breaking out of the diet/binge/purge cycle:
It’s not your fault that you are struggling. However, you can choose to take the next steps in support of your recovery. If you find that you hate your life in recovery, you can always go back to your eating disorder. But what if you gave yourself the chance to try something different this time? Bulimia isn’t glamorous or cool. It’s swollen cheeks, teeth decaying, physical injuries from over-exercise, potentially losing your fertility (if you are a woman, however people of all genders can struggle), cardiac problems, depression, isolation, actual death, or living but feeling dead inside. You deserve to find freedom. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By: Megan Samuels, Intern For The Eating Disorder Center  Friday June 7, 2019 was National Donut Day. I pulled up to Krispy Kreme with my parents and received a free donut that had chocolate icing and rainbow sprinkles. After I devoured the delicious round shaped pastry, I decided to reflect on my recovery journey, especially as it pertains to eating donuts. Donuts used to be a major fear food for me. By fear food, I mean that society, diet culture, and my own internalized beliefs led me to put donuts in a “bad food” category. I avoided donuts at all costs before my recovery and if I did have one, I would have extreme feelings of guilt and shame afterwards. Fast-forward to my recovery. I slowly learned to tackle eating donuts with my dietician. I started my eating it with a fork and a knife and then gradually moved to biting into the donut with my mouth. This transition from not eating donuts to eating a donut with my hands took time, effort, and patience. I remember at one point in my recovery I wanted to keep up my donut eating momentum so I stopped by the Dunkin Donuts near my apartment almost weekly and picked up a tasty, stylish donut. Eating donuts just became normal to me. They are no longer categorized as a “bad food” to me. They will always be a “bad food” to my eating disorder, but I have become aware that my eating disorder thoughts are not my thoughts. My thoughts say that all foods fit and I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want. Conquering the donut has taught me a lot about myself. I have learned that no matter what I set my mind to, it can be done. I have proved to myself that I can comfortably eat donuts, something I never thought would happen because my thoughts were so intertwined with my eating disorder that I couldn’t separate them. I know look forward to, and crave, donuts. Instead of denying myself this craving, as I used to do, I stop by the nearest donut shop and get a colorful decorated donut that I know I will enjoy. I show my recovery that I appreciate it and that my live is worth more than saying no to certain foods. I am excited for the food freedom that will come in the future with more time in recovery and more body respect and “all foods fit” mentality. Journaling Prompts:
The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Megan Samuels, The Eating Disorder Center Intern  In high school, I was plagued by varsity sports. I ran for hours every day, whether I wanted to or not. If we did a skill wrong or lost a game, we ran as punishment. We had to get under a certain mile time. Everything in my life revolved around running. Later on in my recovery I realized that varsity sports was not my form of joyful movement. Through working with a therapist and a dietitian, I eventually realized that I didn’t actually enjoy running. This was a difficult conclusion at the time for me to make. However, in being truly honest with myself-I realized that I ran when I didn’t want to, it came from a place of wanting to alter my body, and I ran to punish my body. Today, years after varsity sports, I asked my family if they wanted to play tennis during the long weekend. We went to the local park and played for fun. We did not keep score, however, we did count the number of times I was laughing uncontrollably because I would serve the ball into another court. During this tennis game, I realized that I was doing joyful movement. This was it. Moving simply for the fun of moving and being around my family. It had nothing to do with altering my body and that was such an amazing feeling. I felt at peace with my body. I was playing tennis just to play tennis, have fun, and enjoy my life. I often think about joyful movement in the sense of how small children play. Children run outside and play soccer when they want to and when it feels good to them. I am working on honoring my inner child and I believe that I achieved that goal today. Below I have listed some of my favorite ways to move:
**Please note that if your treatment team has asked for you to not be doing any form of movement right now-it’s so important to honor that for your health and well-being. It’s important to be mindful that part of my recovery involved complete rest from exercise-and that this was a crucial aspect of my healing process. Actually taking time off from movement during the recovery process often leads to better recovery outcomes. Sometimes taking a period of rest, is actually the healthiest thing for you. One of the privileges of being at a later stage of recovery is exploring forms of joyful movement and reconnecting with my body, in a way that comes from a place of self-care and joy-rather than punishment. Journaling Prompts:
The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  With swimsuits, less clothing, and people running around proclaiming the so-called 'benefits' of their ‘low carb’ diets, the summer can be a really difficult time for those in eating disorder recovery. For someone who is in the midst of struggling with an eating disorder, often there are not a lot of quiet mental moments. However, it becomes even harder when this mental noise about weight and food is endorsed strongly by the culture. The following are a few quick tips for surviving the summer in eating disorder recovery. 1.Make an effort to build in structure. I work with people of all ages in recovery from eating disorders, however this tip is especially important for students or those for whom the summer brings about a change in their schedule. Anxiety and eating disorders thrive in environments that lack structure. So, it’s really important to build in some kind of helpful routine (even if for instance, your work schedule is consistent over the summer). When I talk about structure, it’s really looking at things that you can add in-so whether you are off school for the summer and look at volunteering opportunities-or are simply looking at adding in 10 minutes of meditation a few times a week, there are lots of options. If you are meeting with a therapist and dietitian, it’s important to try to maintain some consistency with appointments (although understandably travel, camp, etc can get in the way), making sure that you are checking in with your support system and treatment team is important. If you don't have a therapist, eating disorder dietitian, or recovery coach-consider reaching out for more support. Reaching out for help when you are struggling can feel anxiety-provoking, but ultimately it is so brave. 2.Counter-condition yourself to this idea of a ‘summer body.’ The idea of a ‘summer body’ was created so that the diet industry could make you feel insecure and thus more likely to spend a lot of money on their products. The reality is that your body exists to keep you alive (and not to be some kind of object or determinant of your worth)-and does so in all seasons. Summer body=whatever body you have right now (ditto for ‘swimsuit body’). Unfollow anyone who is promoting a ‘bikini body diet’ or other unhealthy things, and add in people on social media of diverse body sizes and those who are promoting more positive messages. It’s also important to make sure that you have comfortable summer clothing that fits your current body. It can be helpful to go shopping with a friend who is supportive of your recovery who can grab things in a variety of sizes for you to try on. 3.Make a summer bucket list that has nothing to do with dieting or attempts to try to change your body. Eating disorders shrink people’s lives and through recovery your whole world opens up. Your eating disorder will want you to focus on your body and food this summer, but what would you actually like to spend your time doing? Make a list of things that you’d love to do this summer-where you can practice being in the moment, which will help to shift focus from your body and food to the things that are truly meaningful. They don’t have to be super big things either-even focusing on the simple pleasures that your eating disorder has caused you to shift focus from, can be helpful. Examples of things that you could put on your summer bucket list:
The Bottom Line When I was struggling with an eating disorder, I had fleeting moments of a false sense of ‘happiness’ and a sense of ‘comfort’ but the majority of the time I was depressed and miserable. I thought about food and my body 80 percent of the time. I had so many rules. I felt totally trapped. It was exhausting. I definitely don’t take the ability that I have now to laugh with friends over brunch without anxiety, the mental energy, and the freedom from the constant thoughts, for granted. Ultimately, recovery enables you to have the brain space to focus on things that are far more meaningful and important. This summer and beyond, my hope for you is that in each new moment you try to do the next best recovery action. It will be 100 percent worth it when you are finally free from this. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
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The Eating Disorder CenterWe are a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center in Rockville, Maryland. Archives
August 2019
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