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By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  “It seems like I’m actually experiencing my feelings, now that I’m no longer bingeing and purging my emotions,” my client in recovery from bulimia shared. Eating disorders are believed to be caused by a combination of factors including, genetic, temperamental, and environmental influences. However, one thing that almost all of my clients with eating disorders have in common is difficulty in expressing, processing, and coping with their emotions. Emotional Avoidance and Eating Disorders Emotional avoidance, is described as actions that are intended to prevent an emotional response from occurring, such as fear, anger or sadness. People struggling with eating disorders often turn to their eating disorder behaviors in an unconscious effort to try to help themselves to “feel better” and to cope with difficult emotions or life circumstances. For instance, for many people struggling with anorexia, their response when it comes to coping with feelings of anxiety, sadness, or loneliness, is to restrict their food. This may give them a false sense of “control” and specialness. For individuals with bulimia, bingeing and purging provides them a momentary feeling of comfort, “control,” or relief. For people struggling with binge eating, eating often feels like “an escape,” comforting, calming, or a way to numb out. The reality is that eating disorder behaviors often provide short-term relief or satisfaction, and long-term feelings of increased depression, loneliness, and misery. Let Yourself Feel Eating disorder treatment involves a variety of tools and strategies for helping clients to reclaim their lives. However, one important element is helping them to learn how to identify, process, and cope with their emotions in ways that align with their life values. I often say to clients that trying to suppress our emotions, is kind of like trying to hold a beach ball under water. It takes a lot of effort and eventually the beach ball will fly up above the water with force. As a culture, we are often not taught to express our emotions. It’s important to share with clients that their eating disorder behaviors are often coping strategies that they are using for “self-soothing.” These behaviors may have helped them to get through some difficult and traumatic times, however they are also no longer serving them. With treatment and support, people with eating disorders can learn how to heal their relationships with themselves, food, and their bodies. They can also learn how to express and process their emotions, without the constant strain of trying to suppress or run from their feelings. Part of living a meaningful life is being able to experience all of one’s emotions, both pleasant and unpleasant. One of the great privileges of doing this work is being able to see the light return into someone's eyes, for them to be exploring their true passions and interests, for their brain space to be no longer ruled with thoughts about food and their body. Full recovery is completely possible. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California and New York (NYC) serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
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By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  Around the New Year we are inundated with diet-culture messages that emphasize a focus on “fixing yourself.” Each New Year many people resolve to “lose weight,” and “get healthier.” There seems to be an increased focus on joining the gym, dieting, and “lifestyle changes” (aka diets in disguise). For individuals in recovery from an eating disorder, the New Year can be a particularly challenging time. With everyone around you racing to join the nearest gym and obsessing about their new “clean eating plan,” it may be difficult to maintain focus on recovery and body acceptance. Plus, it's super hard when your eating disorder is validated over and over again by diet culture (whose main aim is making that money $$$). The following are three quick tips for navigating the New Year and staying on track in your eating disorder recovery. 1. Do a social media detox. Food related “detoxes” are a ridiculous waste of time and money. There is simply no scientific evidence to support the need for a “detox." If you’ve got a functioning liver and kidneys, they are already doing this job for you. However, there is one kind of detox that I support, which is a social media and diet-culture detox. Essentially, the first step is to go into your social media and unfollow or unfriend anyone that causes you to feel badly about yourself. Make sure that you remove any social media accounts that talk about weight loss, changing your body, dieting, “lifestyle changes,” and promote an unhealthy fixation with food and exercise. Next, you can go ahead and add in some body-positive, health at every size, and eating disorder recovery accounts. While you cannot effectively remove all aspects of diet-culture from your life, you can work to make your social media feed pro-recovery and body-positive. It can also be helpful to follow people who promote body-diversity and demonstrate that you CAN be happy at any size. 2. Set some pro-recovery, body-positive, and self-compassion related intentions. I’ll be honest in that I’m not really into the idea of New Year’s resolutions. First off, here’s simply not a lot of data to support that people actually stick to their resolutions. Additionally, I think that it’s helpful to utilize goal setting throughout the year. The New Year is a fresh start and a time to really think about your priorities and values. It can be helpful to use this time to set some goals/intentions that support your recovery. However, rather than setting goals for the whole year, I think that it can be more useful to set them for the next month or so. This feels less overwhelming to some people and can make it easier to stick to the intentions that you have set for yourself. Some ideas for pro-recovery goals to set could include challenging yourself to certain “fear foods,” working on practicing body-appreciation, and developing a more compassionate approach to yourself through your self-talk and self-care. 3. Reach out to your support system if you start to feel triggered. It’s important to practice self-compassion if you start to feel triggered around the New Year. Eating disorder recovery is tough, especially when everyone around you is racing to join the nearest gym and ranting about their new “diet” plan. However, with time and practice you can learn how to effectively manage your triggers and use healthy coping strategies. If you are starting to feel triggered to return to disordered behaviors, it’s crucial to reach out to members of your support network, which could include family, friends, and your treatment team. Eating disorders thrive on shame and secrecy, thus it is important to be open with the people in your life about what you are experiencing. No one should have to struggle alone and you deserve to have some support. If you are not meeting with a therapist-i'd highly encourage you to reach out to one who specializes in health at every size and eating disorders. Therapy can be a crucial part of healing from an eating disorder. The Bottom Line The New Year is an exciting fresh start and a great opportunity to refocus on your values and priorities. However, it can also be a triggering time for those in recovery from an eating disorder. Work to practice compassion for those who are still stuck in body-hatred and the diet cycle. When they say that they want to “lose weight,” often this is simply masking their true aim, which is to feel loved, accepted, safe, and joyful. Remind yourself that your worth is not found in your weight, eating habits, or your body. Additionally, people of all shapes and sizes are worthy of love and belonging. If you must make a resolution this New Year, the following are some things that you can work to lose (instead of weight).
Ultimately, talk back to that voice in your head that says that you 'aren't enough.' The voice that whispers that 'wouldn't things be better if you just lost a few pounds?' The one that argues, 'well other people are doing it-so why can't I?' Your eating disorder is lying to you. A focus on weight loss and shrinking yourself, only serves to shrink the rest of your life too. You are enough, just as you are. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California and New York (NYC) serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Megan Samuels, Intern for The Eating Disorder Center  I’ve done a lot of grieving these past few months. As a college student, the end of a semester means leaving those classes, teachers, and daily patterns that grounded me the past few months. That was my normal. This is also the end of the year. Someone said, “See you next year!” to me and I realized that I haven’t processed the fact that 2019 is ending and we are coming onto a new year and a new decade. Saying goodbye to semesters and years is something that I have to do constantly. I make sure to dedicate a lot of self-care for myself during these transitions so I can think about and process the changes that are happening in my life and around me. Last week, I said goodbye to my dog. She battled with cancer for months and not even my tears throughout the last few days could bring her back. After talking to my therapist and many of my friends, I have solidified my intention to cope with all of this extreme grief with healthy coping skills, instead of using eating disorder behaviors. Some coping skills that I have developed include watching TV (I have decided to rewatch Friday Night Lights and One Tree Hill), getting a weighted blanket, journaling, and talking to friends when I need support. The extreme grief of my dog passing away is not something I have felt and had to personally deal with in a number of years. Losing a family member (which for my family includes a dog) is probably the hardest thing humans go through. I have talked with my therapist about the process of grieving. As a perfectionist, I wanted an outline of this process. I wanted to know what I had to do to get over these feelings and feel better. Similar to work that I’ve done to fight against my eating disorder, my therapist told me the biggest thing is looking inwards and asking myself what I need. That might mean starting a new book or working on graduate school applications, and this might mean crying in my room and looking at pictures of my dog. I realized how quickly I wanted to dismiss my feelings of grief, that included sadness, anger, and frustration. Even with knowledge of emotions and almost a bachelors degree in psychology, I still tried to push the feelings away. Grief is complicated and it is still something I am learning about. I know one thing for sure is that the feelings will bottle up and get worse if their needs are not met. This is similar to eating disorder recovery work. In order to cope with feelings, it is important to identify the feeling and sit with it and let it pass. For example, yesterday I started crying because I missed my dog. I sat down and questioned what I was feeling. I was feeling sad. Sad is a feeling and I don’t need to make it go away. I sat on my bed with pictures of my dog and a tissue box and felt the sadness. I didn’t fight it, I welcomed it throughout my body. A few minutes later (that felt like hours) the sadness passed and I continued on with my day. This experience proved to me that I am able to feel a feeling and let it pass. It is one thing to be told to let feelings pass or to be shown the wave of emotions. For me, I needed to experience it. I needed to see for myself that I could have a feeling that felt too unbearable to cope with and be able to sit with it and believe that it will pass. A key to the grieving process is letting myself feel any emotions that come to me, which can be difficult to do. I was packing for a vacation and remembered my dog not being here anymore and I had to stop what I was doing because I felt a sudden wave of sadness. I sat on the ground and let the tears stream down my face. It was liberating to be able to let my emotions express themselves and for me to tell them that I hear them and I support them. This will happen countless more times throughout my grieving process and throughout my life and I am thankful that I have the understanding of the importance of accepting my emotions in the present moment. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California and New York (NYC) serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  ‘Wow. I can’t believe I really look that bad. I’ve been fooling myself this whole time. I look disgusting.’ Sound familiar? Photos can be really triggering for people in eating disorder recovery. Here’s a few tips on how to cope when you can’t stand a photo of yourself. 1. Recognize that it’s just one perspective of a moment in time. There was a gorgeous sunset outside of my apartment. The sky was filled with pink and orange hues. I took out my iPhone to capture the moment. When I looked at the photo, it hardly looked like the same sky. You couldn’t really see any colors in the sky. It looked kind of washed out. The picture was simply not able to capture the beauty of the sunset. This is the same thing that happens with photos of you! A photo is just a moment in time-not the full perspective of how you look, and more importantly doesn’t capture the beautiful soul which lies beneath. 2. Refocus on the memory being made. Your eyes are hijacked by an eating disorder and will zoom in on any areas that you’ve deemed as ‘problems.’ Try to zoom out and think about the memory that you made in that moment. When you look back on your life at age 90, it’s unlikely that you’ll be judging the size of your arm in the photo. Rather, you’re gonna be reflecting on the memories that you made and the fun times that you had. Remember that a photo is to capture a memory-not a modeling contest or some kind of arbitrary beauty award. What’s most important is that you were there. 3. Remind yourself that you are SO much more than your appearance. Diet culture and eating disorders love to fixate on your body and appearance, but this is actually the least interesting thing about you. You were put on this earth for a far greater purpose than ‘being thin’ or adhering to some BS societal standard of beauty. I told a client once, ‘I don’t need you to fall in love with your body. I want you to fall in love with your life.’ The reality is that all of our bodies will change as we age and chasing after some illusive beauty standard is a recipe for unhappiness. Instead, chase after your passions, strengthen your relationships, focus on being more present and joyful in the moment. The Bottom Line At the end of your life you can’t get back the time wasted spent bashing photos of yourself. Think about some more self-accepting mantras that you can tell yourself when your inner critic starts picking apart your appearance in photos. It does NOT matter how you look in photos. It matters that you were there to make a memory. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California and New York (NYC) serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
 Eating disorders make your whole world small. Recovery opens up an amazing life that you never could have imagined. In this free 42 page e-book, we share a compilation of coping tips and strategies from some of the therapists and coaches at The Eating Disorder Center! We can't wait to hear what you think. As always, we're over here rooting for you. Link To Your Free E-Book 
The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California and New York (NYC) serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  Multiple times a week on my Instagram account, I get a message where someone asks me ‘is recovery really worth it though?’ There was a time back when I was struggling with an eating disorder where I was unsure myself. I wasn’t too happy with my life in general and there were a lot of thoughts like, ‘if my life is going to suck anyway-does it even matter if I have an eating disorder?’ I know it can feel impossible at times and hard to believe when people who have recovered say that ‘recovery is worth it,’ so rather than try to explain the reasons why-I want to describe two of my worst eating disorder days (leaving out certain details that might be too triggering) and a snapshot of my life now. My Worst Eating Disorder Days Scene 1: I was anxious and crying a week in advance-anticipating my weekend away visiting my boyfriend (at the times) family. I was worried about having to eat food that I hadn’t prepared-and not being able to have access to a gym. I was terrified of gaining weight and felt like my world was about to unravel. I remember feeling bone-chillingly cold much of the time. The kind of cold where it felt like I’d never feel warm again. I did very disordered things with food during that weekend-and my brain was hardly getting any nourishment. I felt ashamed of my eating habits-and hoped that I was inconspicuous enough that no one would notice, but they definitely did. Every morning at the crack of dawn-I sprinted up and down the street in front of his house-trying to appease the part of me that was demanding that I exercise. It felt like taking time off from exercise was not an option. I felt so trapped. I was constantly thinking about food and counting down the minutes until my next meal (in hindsight this is because I was starving). I could hardly think about anything else. Pictures were taken and I couldn’t stand the sight of myself. Scene 2: I woke up with a puffy face, swollen cheeks, and a scratchy throat. I had spent the night purging. In that moment-I felt some ‘relief’ and like I finally had ‘a break’ in my day. But afterwards, I hated myself. ‘Please just let me die’ this pain is too much was the mantra that I repeated to myself most days. I felt utterly possessed by my eating disorder. I couldn’t see myself ever being able to stop and because of this I wanted to die. I saw no way out. My Life Now “Do you want pancakes-he asks?” “Sure!” I reply. He makes pancakes with blueberries and sprinkles. We eat them together drizzled with maple syrup as we laugh and then talk about our plans for the day. My mind isn’t ruminating on calories or carbs (or my body!)-instead, I am present, focused, and joyful in the moment. Afterwards we snuggle together in bed catching up on The Bachelor-and crack jokes about the content. I feel free. I feel at peace. And I am filled with gratitude to not have the shadow of an eating disorder hanging over my shoulder. The Bottom Line Recovery is 1 million percent worth it. My past life in an eating disorder pales in comparison to my life now. Currently, I now a career that I love helping people to recover from eating disorders, an amazing group practice The Eating Disorder Center, an upcoming book on eating disorder recovery with one of my best friends, an amazing boyfriend, good friends, the ability to travel and be present in the moment, and a sense of peace and freedom that I truly never thought was possible. Ultimately, I don't know anyone who is recovered who wishes that they could go back to their eating disorder. Life is so much better on the other side. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California and New York (NYC) serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Courtney Levy Daniels, LMHC  Black and white thinking leads you to believe that something is either ALL good or ALL bad, ALL right or ALL wrong. Through the lens of an eating disorder, it can manifest like this: “I had a bite of cake, so my diet is ruined. I may as well eat the whole cake and be ‘good’ tomorrow.” Or how about, “I didn’t follow my meal plan completely, so I am a failure and I will never recover.” Sound familiar? The thing is, this type of thinking can be functional. I mean, why would we think this way if it wasn’t? It can give us a feeling of control by placing things neatly into categories, and serve as a way to help us make sense of the world. However, the downside is that when we limit our thinking to dichotomies, it keeps us from seeing nuances. It keeps us from experiencing the full spectrum of what life has to offer. For example, if we think of the weather as merely “hot” and “cold,” we’re not accounting for those perfect beach days - warm, sunny, and just the right amount of cloud cover to offer a few seconds of shade here and there. And let’s not forget those crisp fall days - the ones where the air is cool enough for a cozy beanie and a pumpkin spice latte, but not chilly enough to warrant gloves. If you ask me, it’s those days in between “hot” and “cold” that are the best ones! So while it may make you feel safe to think in “all-or-nothing” terms, you’re also narrowing your view and limiting your experiences. So how do we expand our black and white thinking to include color? Some tips: 1. Increase awareness:
2. Actively challenge the thoughts:
Instead of: “I didn’t follow my meal plan completely, so I am a failure and I will never recover” Try: “I didn’t make as many recovery-oriented choices as I would have liked to. Tomorrow is a new opportunity to make decisions that are in line with my values” 3. Practice self-compassion:
Reminder: This is not EASY! It takes practice, practice, practice. But with time, it will come more naturally and help you live a much more vibrant life. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California and New York (NYC) serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  On a regular basis, we are inundated with unhealthy messages about exercise. From fitspo on Instagram and influencers showing off their 6-packs to messages about ‘no days off’-disordered attitudes towards exercise are everywhere. Compulsive exercise (i.e. exercise addiction) is a socially acceptable prison cell. I’ve been there and I remember feeling so incredibly trapped-yet unable to stop my rigid exercise routine. The following are a few tips for recovering from compulsive exercise in an exercise obsessed world. 1. Surround yourself with pro-recovery, body positive content and work to eliminate any fitspo. When I was trapped by an exercise compulsion, I remember following fitspo influencers on social media. They talked about having a healthy relationship to movement-but their feeds were full of their chiseled muscles and orthorexic looking chicken bowls. I didn’t realize how much these accounts impacted me until I began recovery and unfollowed them. Step 1: is to think about the areas in your life that reinforce your unhealthy attitudes towards exercise and then cut out/set boundaries with what you can. So this means not only unfollowing social media accounts that cause you to feel guilty for not working out (yesss this includes that friend or family member constantly posting about their workouts)-but also setting boundaries or eliminating things IRL that trigger negative thoughts about your body and exercise compulsion. Then, it’s important to add in accounts that promote body diversity (i.e. people of all different shapes and sizes) and think about what you can start to surround yourself with in your life that promotes healthier messages i.e. podcasts (I’m looking at you Food Psych!), books, articles, friends, and hobbies that have nothing to do with your body or exercise. 2. Notice the stories that you are telling yourself around exercise. It’s also important to start to be mindful of the stories that you are telling yourself around exercise. The next step is to write down some of your unhealthy thoughts about exercise and then write back to them with more neutral and/or positive thoughts. Rather than trying to determine if the thought is true-identify is the thought helpful or unhelpful in terms of getting you in the direction of a life aligned with your true-life values. Unhelpful Thought: ‘I’m so lazy for not exercising today. This is a slippery slope to never moving again.’ Helpful Thought: Not exercising today is actually way harder for you. So, this is something to be proud of in terms of helping you to recover. It’s the opposite of lazy. Just because you took a day off doesn’t mean that you will never move again. That’s super black and white-and even if all you did was activities in your daily life (rather than a formal exercise routine) that would be ok too. It’s important to practice dialoguing back and forth-and to coach yourself in the moment by reframing your thoughts as much as possible. It’s also useful to remind yourself that ‘more exercise’ isn’t always healthier (in fact it can be quite unhealthy in certain conditions) and that sometimes the healthiest choice for your body and mind is rest. Ultimately, exercise is a stressor on the body and if you are anxious about fitting in exercise etc it raises cortisol (the stress hormone)-which is also not healthy. 3. Identify the function of your compulsive exercise. One good exercise is to make a DBT pro/con list of continuing to engage in compulsive exercise. You list out all the ‘pros’ and all the ‘cons’ and then next to each one write whether it is short term or long term-and then tally them out at the end. Compulsive exercise is serving a function in your life (i.e. anxiety reduction) and it’s important to identify the purposes that it is serving for you and more values-aligning ways that you can get any of the valid and adaptive needs met. For example, if compulsive exercise feels like it’s helping with your anxiety (spoiler alert, it decreases anxiety in the short term but increases it in the long-term and makes you more reliant on the behavior), think about other coping strategies that you could use for anxiety i.e. watching a distracting TV show, aromatherapy, playing with dogs, or spending time with a supportive friend. 4. Try a little ‘experiment.’ I think it’s helpful when making behavioral changes to say it’s going to be just an ‘experiment’ for that week. This helps to zoom out from the big picture (i.e. prediction of future doom and gloom) which your ED loves to jump to when you are trying to make scary changes. I remember the first rest day that I took since my eating disorder began-vividly. At the time, I felt unable to take a day off from exercise and my dietitian had challenged me to take a rest day. I felt like I was crawling out of my skin-like I wanted to escape from the situation. I also felt intense guilt around eating. But the thing is, with support from my treatment team-I was able to do it. Even though the first time felt truly awful-it got easier and easier. Then, I was able to make other changes to help myself to find freedom from compulsively exercising. Challenge yourself to shave 10 min off your routine, take a rest day, take a period off all-together (if you can)-whatever step feels like the best place to start. I promise, your body, mind, and soul will eventually thank you. The Bottom Line Your obituary won’t read she was so dedicated to the treadmill, I remember her for her six-pack, and I appreciate that her legs were really toned. It will focus on your relationships, how you pursued your passions, the kind of person that you were, and the difference that you made in this world. I don’t want you to look back and regret moments and memories that slipped away or were colored by compulsive exercise. Full freedom from compulsive exercise is 100 percent possible and so worth it. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California and New York (NYC) serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  Eating disorders isolate you. When someone is deep in an eating disorder, it often becomes their primary relationship-to the detriment or exclusion of other relationships. However, as you work on recovery, brain space can open so that you have more room to think about relationships. The following are a few common struggles for some people in recovery as it pertains to relationships and intimacy. However, it’s important to note that everyone’s eating disorder is unique and this won’t apply to everyone. Relationships in Recovery Feeling like a burden to your partner This is a common challenge that I hear all the time with clients. Many people in recovery struggle with this concept of ‘feeling like a burden.’ Someone might feel like they bring ‘too much baggage’ into a relationship (spoiler: there is no such thing as ‘too much baggage’ and if someone feels that way they are not the right person for you). Others express that they feel badly for their partner ‘having to deal with’ their eating disorder. Something I like to say to clients-is the same way someone in a relationship might get cancer and this is not their fault, struggling with an eating disorder is in no way your fault. Part of being in a relationship is standing by someone through joyful moments and supporting them through the difficult ones. Someone who is truly meant to be in your life will not view you as a burden and will be happy to support you. Are they still human? Yes. Is it possible they will feel frustrated at the eating disorder (not you) sometimes. Sure. But you are in NO WAY a burden. People with eating disorders are ultimately some of the most resilient, brave, intelligent, compassionate, and amazing people that I know. There are other qualities that you bring to the relationship which have nothing to do with your eating disorder. Body image and intimacy Something that isn’t talked about enough is how negative body image can impact intimacy in relationships. Some people who are deeply struggling with body image can have difficulty when it comes to undressing in front of a partner, having sex with the lights on, or engaging in sexual contact at all. If this is a struggle for you, it’s important to note that you are so not alone in dealing with this and there are things that you can do to work through this. The first step is having the courage to discuss with your therapist, partner, a friend, or family member how you are feeling about your body and the ways that this is impacting intimacy in your relationship. When we bring difficult thing to the light it helps to take away some of the sense of shame and isolation. It can also be helpful to write out a hierarchy of different situations that provoke anxiety/shame etc i.e. undressing in front of my partner, taking my shirt off, having sex with the lights on, and then to work to very gradually challenge them (ideally with professional support) while also addressing the thoughts, feelings, and emotions. The problem isn’t your body. It’s the stories that you are telling yourself around your body. Through therapy we can work to create new narratives and help you to challenge the behaviors that keep you stuck. If your partner is open to joining you in a therapy session to discuss this, that could also be a helpful stage of your healing process. Trauma and intimacy Many individuals struggling with eating disorders have also experienced trauma. For some trauma survivors, it can be very difficult to engage in sexual activity without feelings of anxiety, panic, or shame. Trauma therapy (EMDR, CPT, Prolonged Exposure) can be a really important step in your healing process. Through trauma therapy, you can build distress tolerance skills (i.e. grounding techniques for dissociation or intense emotions) and then work to gradually exposure yourself (in a hierarchy) to situations that invoke anxiety and/or shame. For instance, one step on your hierarchy could be talking about the idea of being intimate with your partner in a safe space (ideally with a therapist), another step could be lying in bed with your partner fully clothed. If you are struggling with this, you are definitely NOT alone. You are not broken and you can 100% heal your relationship with sex and intimacy. Difficulty eating with your partner or someone you are dating One reason that eating disorders love to isolate you is because relationships and dating often involve eating out, eating food that you haven’t prepared, and flexibility-which are things that eating disorders often hate. It’s important to challenge yourself in a way that feels uncomfortable but not unsafe. Try to reframe these experiences as opportunities to kick your eating disorder to the curb. Each time you break an eating disorder rule it will get easier (even though it feels hard as hell at first). Your payoff will be freedom and connections with other people that you never could have imagined when you were in the depths of your eating disorder. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  You know who can make a really un-fun travel companion? An eating disorder. At the worst of my illness-I remember crying in anticipation of a weekend away. Being able to prepare my own food and stick to my rigid exercise routine was my safety blanket-and when traveling, it felt like it was being ripped away from me. I spent a huge amount of time and energy thinking about food, weight, and exercise while traveling. It was exhausting. Now, as I’m about to spend a week on vacation with a friend-I am so grateful to be able to actually enjoy vacations (including the food!) The following are a few tips if vacation anxiety is getting the best of you. 1. Think about what you’d want your ideal vacation to look like if you were recovered. Write out what you’d want to be focusing on if the eating disorder was not invited on your vacation. What memories and moments would you want to have? Eating disorders take you away from your true values and tend to cause you to focus on food, weight, and exercise. Work to take some ‘opposite actions’ to eating disorder urges when you are traveling that are in alignment with your vision: i.e. if your eating disorder tells you to restrict or binge at lunch-challenging yourself to nourish yourself appropriately. Example: If your eating disorder is telling you NOT to have a fruity drink-order the fruity drink. I know that taking ‘opposite actions’ is not easy but over time you will create new neural pathways in your brain and the positive behaviors will become more automatic. 2. Lean on your support system. If you are traveling with someone who you feel comfortable talking to about your eating disorder-try sharing with them what would be most helpful. Many people want to help but often they don’t know how. For example, telling your partner: “If I’m having a hard time making a decision on what to order when we’re out to eat, can you choose for me.” If you are working with a therapist, dietitian, and/or recovery coach-you can also email them for support as well. Real talk: reaching out for support when you’re struggling is so strong. 3. Plan what you can in advance. If there are any situations that you can plan to ‘cope ahead’ for in advance with your therapist, dietitian, and/or coach-that would be one idea. It can also be really helpful to pack snacks or buy some when you get there to have on hand. However, it’s good to practice flexibility i.e. saying ‘yes’ when someone asks you to grab ice cream in the afternoon-rather than solely relying on packed snacks. 4. Practice radical acceptance. Radical acceptance is a concept from dialectical behavioral therapy. It doesn’t mean that we ‘like’ a situation rather that we stop fighting against it. Work to radically accept that some things may feel ‘out of control’ on vacation (however that’s just your ED talking) and that you might have increased anxiety. 5. Use those mindfulness skills. I describe mindfulness of your thoughts like this: -Not being mindful of thoughts is like you are outside in the storm in the rain, without an umbrella and you are totally caught in the midst of this raging storm. -Mindfulness of your thinking is like you are watching the storm raging outside from indoors behind a window. The storm is still there but it’s not impacting you as much. Remember that just because you have a thought, does NOT mean that it is true. You can practice mindfulness by visualizing your thoughts being placed on leaves as they float down a stream. Practice responding to your eating disorder thoughts with some healthier statements-and consider making a list in the notes section of your phone so that this list is easily acceptable. Example: Eating Disorder Thought: You are gaining so much weight-you need to eat less. More Helpful Thought: I want to be at whatever weight enables me to travel without guilt, fear, or anxiety. Life is about so much more than my weight. My Hope for You My hope for you is that you get to have a positive experience while traveling and that someday you get to travel completely ED free. Life is far too short to be spending your vacation looking for the nearest gym, obsessing about food, or being bogged down by negative body image. You can totally get there. Just take it one ‘opposite action’ at a time. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
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The Eating Disorder CenterWe are a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center in Rockville, Maryland. Archives
August 2021
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