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By: Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  Eating disorders are the second deadliest mental illness. Every 62 minutes, someone dies, as the direct result of an eating disorder. Cardiac or respiratory arrest is one of the most common causes of death for individuals with bulimia. Heart disorders are the most common cause of death for people with anorexia. About half of the deaths caused by anorexia are due to sudden cardiac deaths. Additionally, morality rates for OSFED are just as high as for individuals with anorexia or bulimia. Since binge eating disorder was only more recently added as a diagnosis to the diagnostic and statistical manual, there is less data regarding mortality rates, however it is just as serious as other eating disorders. Eating Disorders and Suicide Another prevalent cause of death for people with eating disorders is suicide. The following are a few factors, which help to explain this.
How to Cope with Suicidal Thoughts First off, if you are struggling with an eating disorder and suicidal thoughts, I want to send so much compassion to you. This can feel so incredibly painful and exhausting-it’s can almost be hard to put words to. The fact that you are reading this article, shows me that there is part of you (even if it’s a tiny part) that doesn’t want to die. Here are a few important steps to take: 1. Reach out! The worst thing that you could do would be to continue to hold this inside and tell no one. If you are not sure if you can keep yourself safe please go to your nearest ER, call 911, or contact the nearest suicide hotline via chat or phone. If you feel that you can commit to keeping yourself safe, but are having suicidal thoughts-reach out to your therapist, doctor, member of your treatment team, the suicide hotline, or another supportive person in your life. If you aren’t meeting with a therapist, consider finding someone who specializes in eating disorders/depression in your area. Seeking help when you are struggling is a sign of true strength, not weakness. 2. Feel your feelings and talk back to your thoughts. When you are struggling with an eating disorder and/or depression-your mind has been hijacked. It’s kind of like you are wearing a pair of dark sunglasses, which color your perception of the world around you. When people are struggling more intensely with eating disorder or depressive thoughts, their perception of reality may be very skewed by the eating disorder/depression. It’s as if they are viewing things through a pair of “eating disorder” or “depression” sunglasses. Through therapy we can slowly work to take the sunglasses off, so that they can start to view things in a healthier way. It’s so important to practice talking back to your unhelpful thoughts. I will often assign clients to dialogue between their “eating disorder self” and their “authentic self” (always trying to end on the authentic self). An Example Eating Disorder Self: It seems unfair that I have to keep living like this. I just don’t know if I can keep living like this. It’s so exhausting. Authentic Self: You’ve felt this way before and things have gotten better. These feelings are only temporary, but dying is a permanent solution. Suicide isn’t a solution-it would transfer your pain onto the people who you care about the most. Why don’t you give this recovery and improving your life thing a shot? Eating Disorder Self: But what if things don’t get better? I’m scared that I’ll be trapped in this cycle forever. I’d rather die than live with this for the rest of my life. Things are already falling apart. I’ve gained so much weight and I don’t think I can tolerate gaining any more. Authentic Self: Suicide or sinking back into your eating disorder, will only create more pain and suffering, either for the people that you love or for yourself. Neither of these things are the answer, and you shouldn’t have to struggle with all of this without support. Why don’t you reach out to the suicide hotline to talk to someone? I guarantee if you reach out for support, do something relaxing, and then get some sleep-things will feel a bit better in the morning. The only reason that you would not recover, is if you stopped trying. You’ve already come so far. Don’t give up on your recovery (or yourself) now. 3. Be kind to yourself. Beating yourself up for struggling with an eating disorder and having suicidal thoughts, will only make you feel even worse. It’s not your fault that you are struggling with this. No one would choose to have an eating disorder or suicidal thoughts, because both things are so painful and exhausting. I’ve seen people who once felt totally trapped by their eating disorder and suicidal thoughts, who are now in strong recovery or recovered-and who feel much more hopeful overall. Even for those whose depression persists after recovering from an eating disorder, there are still things that you can do to learn how to better cope with and change your relationship to your depressive thinking-so that it doesn’t have so much power over you. Recovery Is Possible No matter what your eating disorder might be telling you, recovery is possible. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts please reach out for help and support by contacting the suicide hotline, going to the ER, or calling 911. You are so not alone in this, and help is available. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
*Disclaimer: The information is provided for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for your independent medical decision-making nor a recommendation or endorsement for any particular treatment plan, organization, provider, professional service, or product. By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C  Why is it important for clients with eating disorders to see a specialist therapist vs. a generalist? Eating disorders are the second deadliest mental illness, so the consequences of not receiving specialized treatment can be dire. They are highly treatable, however in order to effectively treat clients with eating disorders, therapists must have specialized training. This training is not typically offered in graduate school and is something therapists have to seek out on their own. Additionally, we are all raised in diet culture and in a society that is steeped in systems of oppression. It's critical that therapists have done their own work around this in order to treat folks with eating disorders. Think of it this way, you wouldn't see a primary care physician for brain surgery. And someone could be an excellent primary care doctor with no knowledge of how to do brain surgery. A personal story When I was first struggling with an eating disorder, I was seeing a generalist therapist. He was a great therapist but had no knowledge of eating disorders. He seemed perplexed as to why I was crying in his office about a weekend away where i'd have no control over the food asking me "is this about something deeper?" He didn't seem to get that I was hysterical about the food and while of course this masked deeper issues-I was in the beginning stages of an eating disorders. When I switched to an eating disorder therapist, recovery coach and dietitian, it was like a breath of fresh air. I felt understood in a way that I hadn't before and they were trained in how to talk to me and how to effectively help me. Had I never sought specialized help, i'm not sure that I would have gotten better. My own journey is why I founded The Eating Disorder Center and am so passionate about providing specialized eating disorder therapy. Eating disorders are treatable and folks deserve specialized support and recovery. By Megan Samuels, MSW, LMSW, Outreach Coordinator  When people reach out to us for help, a common question they have is about the difference between therapy and recovery coaching. Here’s the difference in a nutshell, although it can be more nuanced and on a case-by-case basis. If you aren’t sure what service would be best for you, you can always contact us through our contact form and a team member will be able to assist. What is the difference? Recovery coaching focuses on changing behaviors and building a life outside of your eating disorder. It encourages self-compassion, body positivity, and food freedom. Coaching utilizes a present-focused, goal-setting and skill-based approach to push through limiting beliefs and behaviors. We typically require coaching clients to be working with a therapist. However, coaching can be a stand-alone approach for someone with subclinical disordered eating or body image issues, or for someone further along in their recovery. We are able to offer coaching services to anyone over the age of 13 years old. Coaching is available worldwide via Zoom platform, whereas in therapy, the client must be physically in the state that the therapist is licensed in during the time of the therapy sessions. So, would coaching help me? Here are some scenarios where a coach may be helpful: 1. You are a family member of someone who is recovering from an eating disorder. You may have questions about the process or how to best support the person in recovery.
2. Let’s say a college student is in recovery from an eating disorder and working with a therapist and a dietitian. The student seems to be struggling more and more with the eating disorder thoughts and urges. The student would like additional support with their recovery journey so they can stay in school and avoid a higher level of care.
3. A person in their 40s with no history of an eating disorder may be struggling with their body image. They may be sick of dieting and wanting to make peace with their body. They may have anxiety around the way that their body looks.
4. You have a past history of an eating disorder. You may consider yourself in strong recovery, but some eating disorder thoughts and urges are creeping back in.
5. Let’s say you are a teenager who is recovering from an eating disorder and you are stepping down from a higher level of care facility and establishing an outpatient team. You found a therapist already, but you think that you could use some additional support throughout the week.
6. A 65 year old person is working with a therapist for anxiety and depression. Through talking with the therapist, this person has realized that they may have an unhealthy relationship with food or their body. Their therapist is not an eating disorder specialist and feels unable to address the food and body concerns.
The bottom line. These examples help to point out that there is no one size fits all answer to who can benefit from recovery coaching! Our team members are also trained to ask new clients questions to determine if recovery coaching would be a good fit. We also offer free 15 minute coaching consultations with one of our fabulous recovery coaches, so you can get a feel for their style as a coach and ask any questions that you might have. During this consultation, coaches will also assess to make sure that coaching is a clinically appropriate level of care. If therapy is needed, we will be happy to provide you with personalized recommendations based on your treatment goals. Our two recovery coaches are amazing and have backgrounds as a therapist and an RD. What People Are Saying About Coaching!
The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia, as well as in D.C. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com *Disclaimer: The information is provided for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for your independent medical decision-making nor a recommendation or endorsement for any particular treatment plan, organization, provider, professional service, or product.
By Megan Samuels, MSW, LMSW, Outreach Coordinator  Relapse can be a natural part of recovering from an eating disorder. If you are a friend or a loved one of someone who is struggling with an eating disorder relapse; these tips are for you. 1. Be there.
2. Ask them what they need.
3. Encourage them to be honest with their treatment team.
4. Remind them that they are not where they started.
Here are some questions to have your loved one or friend consider or journal on if they are struggling with relapse from an eating disorder:
We have immediate openings right now for eating disorder therapy in: Maryland and Washington D.C. And recovery coaching worldwide. Click this link to schedule a free 15 min consultation. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Megan Samuels, MSW, LMSW, Outreach Coordinator  Challenging fear foods can be a crucial part of eating disorder recovery. In order to help your brain and body understand that all foods fit, we have to include all types of foods into what we are eating (barring medical concerns or allergies). This often includes incorporating carbs and foods with fat into our daily life to make them not as scary.
All Foods Fit? Yup, you read that right! Despite what the media says, all foods can fit into our lives! Check out this guide that explains more about this concept. Diet culture often demonizes certain groups of food, in an effort to perpetuate diet culture and support the weight loss industry. It’s important to know that all food groups play an important part of our physical, mental, and emotional lives. Also, check out this blog post with a helpful video explaining that all foods fit! Where do I start? Usually, you would start by talking to your therapist or coach about foods that the eating disorder has told you that you can’t eat. Eating disorders often limit people of eating carbs and foods that are high in fat (such as bread, cookies, candy, etc.). You can also make a list of all of the foods that you feel like you cannot eat because of the eating disorder. Your therapist or coach would help you to create a fear food hierarchy, which is essentially a list of the fear foods from most distressing (really scary to eat) to least distressing (not as scary to eat). Typically, a therapist or coach will start with the foods that are the least distressing. Your therapist or coach will work with you to create coping skills and ways to handle emotions that may come up during a food challenge. It’s a continuous process! Oftentimes, clients will think that because they have challenged a food one time, let’s say that food is a donut, that it’s over with and they don’t need to challenge it again. The thing about exposing yourself to something that is scary is that it needs to be done again and again and again until it’s not scary anymore. This concept is known in therapy as habituation, which is essentially the scary thing becoming less scary. Habituation comes from learning theory, or behavioral theory, where we can change our behaviors through learning, modeling, punishment, and reinforcement. That being said, challenging the fear food of a donut may look like having a donut in session with your therapist or coach every week for awhile, until the thought of having a donut is not as anxiety producing. And everyone is different - so there is no expected timeline to know when you will be able to eat donuts without anxiety or eating disorder thoughts. Want more? All of our therapists and coaches at the Eating Disorder Center have experience and training when it comes to challenging fear foods with clients. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C Eating disorders and mood disorders, such as depression or bipolar disorder often co-occur. I have a lot of experience working with clients who struggle with both and there are some important considerations when it comes to treatment and recovery. Eating disorders and depression Living with an eating disorder and depression is exhausting. Depression can impact motivation for recovery and it can also impact appetite. When depression is causing a loss of appetite, this adds another layer of challenge to eating disorder recovery. Restricting food and not getting enough nutrition to meet your energy needs can also serve to increase feelings of depression. In How to Thrive, Expert Tips for Coping with Depression and an Eating Disorder by Jennifer Rollin, Nicole Cruz, RD, says, ‘recognize that depression is a change in brain chemistry and to keep the brain functioning at its optimal level we need to maintain appropriate nutrition. In other words, we don’t want to contribute more to the depression and negative thoughts due to low nutrient intake. Cruz also states that, ‘carbohydrates are the primary source of energy to the brain and low carbohydrate diets are highly correlated with depression.' Quality treatment focuses on treating both the depression and the eating disorder. When you’re in a depressive episode it can feel hopeless and like it will last for forever. Both depression and eating disorders tell a whole bunch of lies and it’s so important to have a skilled therapist to help you to challenge unhelpful thinking patterns. Eating disorders and bipolar disorder Depression, hypomania and mania can all impact appetite, which can add a layer of challenge to eating disorder recovery. Additionally, while it’s so important to note that eating disorders are NOT choices-often they are in part a coping strategy and for some a way to feel a (false) sense of control. Living with bipolar disorder can feel very out of control so it makes sense that eating disorder behaviors may for some be attempts to try to regain a (false) sense of control when their mood is unpredictable. While bipolar disorder never goes away, it can be effectively managed. Full recovery from an eating disorder is possible. The Bottom Line There is hope and it’s possible to reclaim your life and to live according to your true values. Both mood disorders and eating disorders are highly treatable and it’s far harder to address an underlying mood disorder when you are constantly battling eating disorder thoughts in your head. It’s so critical to work with a therapist who has experience with eating disorders and mood disorders if you are struggling. If you are struggling with an eating disorder, reach out to The Eating Disorder Center via the link here. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Megan Samuels, MSW, LMSW, Outreach Coordinator  The relationship that a person has with movement and physical activity is important! Doctors, friends, and family may constantly be telling us about the benefits of movement. And yes, there are benefits to movement. Moving your body can release serotonin, the “happy hormone” in your brain. This can help people who may be feeling anxious or depressed. Movement can also help us connect with other people (or pets too)! It can be a good way to decompress after a long day at school or work. There is a side of movement though that may not be considered healthy. Imagine someone who is at the gym for multiple hours a day, fixated on the way that their body looks. Or the person who can’t take a day off from their swimming routine during their family vacation. This rigidity in thinking is expressed in the way that we are controlling the movement of our bodies. Oftentimes, this can lead to someone getting stuck in an endless cycle of anxiety, compulsive movement, and body image distress. And it can be so so tough to get out of that cycle! If you are reading this blog post, you may be questioning your relationship with movement. You may also be concerned about a friend’s relationship with movement. Either way, we are glad that you are here exploring this topic with us, it’s an important one! Here are some questions to think about as you explore your relationship with movement:
The Bottom Line: Just as humans are complex individuals, so is our relationship to movement. There may be no cut and dry answer as to if your relationship to movement is healthy, and it may be an ongoing assessment of seeing how you are feeling while you move your body for awhile. No matter where you think your relationship to movement falls, you are deserving of a fulfilling and nurturing relationship to movement; whatever that looks like to you. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C Struggling with ambivalence in eating disorder recovery is so common. However, it can be a real stuck point on the road to recovery so it’s crucial to be able to work through the ambivalence with a skilled eating disorder therapist. So many folks struggling with eating disorders are caught in a state of ambivalence i.e having mixed or contradicting feelings about recovery and at The Eating Disorder Center, an outpatient eating disorder therapy practice based in Rockville, Maryland, this is something that we help our clients to move through so that they can reach full recovery. Many clients with eating disorders struggle with anosognosia-essentially where they can’t see how ill they truly are. That coupled with a society fraught with anti-fat bias and diet culture can make it easy for folks to feel ambivalent about the recovery process. Often there is a part of them that wants to recover and a part of them that feels pulled to continue in the eating disorder. Some Tips for Working Through Ambivalence in Recovery: 1.Ask yourself what your life will look like 5 years from now if you stay stuck in an eating disorder vs. five years from now if you fully recover. Get descriptive and detailed. 2.Reflect on your worst eating disorder day and journal about how that felt for you. 3.Explore with a therapist the factors that are strengthening the part of you that may feel a pull to the eating disorder, and see how you can diminish ones that are within your control i.e. finding healthier ways to get your needs met. 4.Explore your true values vs. the eating disorder’s values. List out the ways that the eating disorder may keep you from your true values. What is the cost to your life if you stay stuck in an eating disorder? 5.Recognize that you can FEEL ambivalent AND take recovery actions anyways. Feelings are not facts and it may take some time for your mind to catch up once you begin to challenge the behaviors. 6.Reflect on what prompted you to want to recover from your eating disorder in the first place-and work to connect with and strengthen that part of you. 7.Lean on your support people and your treatment team in moments when ambivalence may be telling you to ‘throw in the towel on recovery.” The Bottom Line Ultimately you deserve a full life. One that you cannot have if you stay stuck in an eating disorder. If you are struggling-consider reaching out for help. You deserve to be free from this and to live a life according to your true values. Full recovery is 100 percent possible. Book a free 15 minute phone consultation for virtual eating disorder therapy throughout Maryland and Virginia. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com By Megan Samuels, LMSW, Outreach Coordinator A thinking trap, also known as a cognitive distortion, can be a way that your perception or interpretation of something (such as an event) is driving an irrational or unhelpful thought. Here are some common cognitive distortions that I hear from clients who are struggling with food and/or body.
The first step to working on thinking traps is to educate yourself about them and then to identify them when they come up for you. This could look like having a thought and then reminding yourself that this thought is a thinking trap. Once you get comfortable identifying and acknowledging thinking trap thoughts, you can begin to counter them with a more helpful statement. This could be a direct statement or a distraction from the thinking trap. For example, if you had the thinking trap thought of, “I shouldn’t be eating this food,” then you can counter it by saying something like, “all foods can fit into my life and although this food may be scary, it will not hurt me.” We also have an All Foods Fit Guide that may help you come up with a more helpful statement - check it out! You can also distract yourself from the thinking trap. This could look like having the thought, “I shouldn’t be eating this food,” and then redirecting yourself to watch TV, talk to a friend, or engage in self-care. By doing this, you are essentially not giving more attention to the unhelpful thinking trap thought. In turn, using a more helpful counter statement or a distraction technique can decrease the anxiety, depression, and eating disorder urges that may be fueled by that unhelpful thought. Activity: Let’s practice by looking at the three types of thinking traps that I outlined above. Below you will see each of the three thinking traps and some questions to start with.
These are just a few ways to tackle those pesky thoughts that may be contributing to anxiety, depression, and eating disorder urges. This process derives from a therapy modality called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This type of therapy is often used in the treatment of eating disorders. Want more? All of our therapists and coaches at the Eating Disorder Center use this modality alongside other modalities and have received additional training specific to the treatment of eating disorders. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LSCW-C  In my opinion, connection is one of the main reasons that we are here. We are hard-wired to want to connect with others, as back in the day our survival often hinged on traveling in groups. Plus, as infants we relied on our caregivers in order to get our basic needs met. Connection, relationships, and a sense of belonging, are natural and hard-wired human needs. My Eating Disorder Days When I was struggling with an eating disorder, I had other relationships. I had a boyfriend, friends, and family members who I spent time with. The problem was, I wasn’t 100 percent there. And as my illness progressed-I wasn’t even 50% present in my relationships. Out to dinner with my boyfriend, my mind was racing about calories, fat content, and anxiety about gaining weight. I couldn’t tell you conversations that we had or even ‘fun’ memories that were made because they were all so colored by the misery that is living with an eating disorder. My brain was consumed with constant thoughts of food, weight, exercise, and my body-there wasn't room for much else. Eventually, spending time with people became less frequent. People often wanted to get together around food and not feeling ‘in control’ of what would be served (by putting my safe foods together myself) threw me into a panic. My eating disorder began to isolate me from other people, while at the same time promising that it was my ‘friend’ and would provide me ‘comfort.’ Sure, it gave me a false sense of security in the short term-but in the long term it made me increasingly anxious, depressed, and isolated. One of the many devastating things about eating disorders is that they can cause increased disconnection and isolation. My Relationships Now This past year or so has been a tough year when it comes to connection. The pandemic and social isolation has been tough for many-and I definitely missed the in-person connection. That being sad, my relationships are completely different now because I am actually able to be present for them. I have wonderful memories of trips that I’ve gone on with my fiancé, lunches and dinners with friends, and quality time spent with family. I have so much more brain space, my memories are no longer tainted by an eating disorder, and I am able to be much more present in my relationships. Journal Questions: 1.What qualities are important to you in a relationship i.e. friendship/significant other etc? 2.Think of one person in your life (past or present) who you are grateful for. Explain why. 3.Thinking about the relationships in your life-do you long to have more relationships or deeper relationships? If so, how might that benefit you? 4.If you are in recovery, does your eating disorder impact your relationships? How so? 5.Think of 2 people who you could reach out to and connect with and make a plan to do so within the next week (a text asking them how they are doing counts!) 6.Think of 1 recovery goal that you could set, which could have the side benefit of improving your relationships i.e. challenging yourself. to go to lunch with a friend. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, Pennsylvania, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com |
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