By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C The scene: many years ago, I sit in my therapist's office in Washington D.C. "My boyfriend invited me to go visit his parents at their house in Rhode Island for the weekend and i'm so stressed out" I said as tears streamed down my face and dripped off of my chin. My therapist looked puzzled. "Are you nervous about meeting his parents?" he asked. "Not really. I'm worried about gaining weight. I won't have control over the food. There's no gym there," I sobbed. "Are you sure there isn't something else that you're worried about?" he asked. My therapist of the past few years was confused. What had started out as me telling him that I was 'trying to lose weight in a healthy way' (whatever the heck that means!) had developed into a full-fledged eating disorder. He didn't treat eating disorders and didn't seem to understand why I was so distraught about a weekend away. That weekend is one of those memories that's embedded and vivid for me. I spent it thinking constantly about food and my weight. My anxiety was at an all time high. I felt completely out of control and terrified. I spent the weekend trying to micromanage my food-often ordering very restrictive things at the restaurants that my boyfriend, his family and I go to. I woke up early to frantically jog outside because I was terrified of taking the weekend off from exercise. I felt uncomfortable being in a bathing suit because all my mind could see is 'flaws.' I was often cold and I was pretty irritable. Needless to say, I didn't have a very good time. The scene: present day, it's a Thursday and I am packing a big gold suitcase for a weekend away. I'm headed to my friend's bachelorette party for the weekend at the beach. I am looking forward to getting to celebrate her and her upcoming marriage-and for a fun weekend. The difference between then (trapped in an eating disorder) and now (free from one) is that I have a ton of freed up brain space. I am not worried about exercising (not planning to do any), food, or my weight. In fact, I am looking forward to getting my favorite peanut butter softserv and Grottos Pizza. I can't wait for the sun, sand, yummy food, and memories made with a good friend and her other friends. I am free. I am at peace with myself. And it feels so incredibly good. Book a free 15 min consultation for therapy or coaching! The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, Pennsylvania, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Megan Samuels, EDC Intern and Social Work Graduate Student As the vaccines for COVID-19 are becoming more available, things are starting to open up again. People are going to the beach, going on vacations, and hanging out with friends and family members. In some stores, fully vaccinated people are even allowed to not wear masks. It has been 14 months of masks, social distancing, hand sanitizer, and some form of isolation. For an introvert like myself, I enjoyed some aspects of the pandemic, such as being able to stay in my house more often. It was difficult to adjust to not being able to see my friends in person, but I got used to Facetiming, Zooming, and texting friends more often. Now we are in this weird space where a lot of people are vaccinated and starting to go out and about again. What does that mean for introverts like me? A summer full of possibly seeing people in person more often. This can be even more stressful for people who are in eating disorder recovery. As the weather gets warmer, as it is in Rockville, MD, people are wearing less and less clothing. The summer months can be difficult for people in recovery from an eating disorder or any type of body image distress. Showing more skin and less clothing can be scary! The anxiety that comes around body image could even increase eating disorder behaviors. So, what can we do about this? I think the first thing to do is to make sure you have a support system in place. This may look like a therapist, a registered dietitian, a psychiatrist, family members, and friends. Or, this may look like a therapist and a romantic partner. Everyone’s life is so unique and complex that our support systems will reflect that uniqueness as well. Once you have identified your support system, touch base with them. This could look like requesting more therapy appointments during the summer months, having a conversation about coping skills with your therapist, or letting your friends know that summer may bring up some yucky body image thoughts. If your friends do not have experiences with mental health or disordered eating, consider sending them some helpful phrases that they can say to you when you are having a bad body image day. The next thing that can be helpful this summer is to do a stoplight analysis of your recovery journey. When I use this technique with clients, I usually grab a blank piece of paper and fold the paper so there are 3 rows and 2 columns. For the column on the left side, I would draw a green circle in the first row, a yellow circle in the second row, and a red circle in the third row. These three rows will act like a stoplight. The green light would explain what your life would look like if you were doing well in recovery. The yellow light would explain what your life would look like if you started to revert to unhealthy behaviors, including any warning signs of reverting to past behaviors. The red light would indicate what it would mean to be using unhealthy behaviors and that you would need more support. You would write these warning signs in the right column for each corresponding row. After solidifying your support system and going over a stoplight analysis with your treatment team, the next thing that could be helpful for you this summer could be to plan lots of self-care activities. If you are anything like me, I physically have to schedule TV time or meditations into my Google calendar, or I will forget to do them! It can be a good idea to incorporate some sort of self-care practice each week or everyday, depending on what you have going on this summer and what is accessible for you. If you find yourself having a crappy body image day, it can be helpful to look at your calendar and remember that you are watching your favorite movie tonight with your best friend. This particular self-care practice, watching a movie with a friend, can distract you from those pesky body image thoughts and can also provide you a space to process your thoughts with your friend, if you feel comfortable doing so. This summer may look a lot different than last summer in terms of mask usage and social distancing restrictions. Summer also may typically be a challenging time for people working through body image issues. Hopefully, these steps to address body image and eating concerns can help you have a summer that is not consumed by distressing thoughts about food and your body. Recovery from body image and disordered eating is hard work - you got this! If you are looking for therapy or recovery coaching worldwide, we can help! We are eating disorder and body image experts. ***Disclaimer: Please note that this blog post is for informational and educational purposes only and is not psychological, therapeutic, or medical advice. Book a free 15 min consultation for therapy or coaching! The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, Pennsylvania, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C The love of your life just got down on one knee and popped the question you’ve been waiting for ‘will you marry me?’ It feels so surreal and you don’t remember the last time you’ll felt this level of happiness. You are so excited to tell your family and friends. This is a moment you’ll remember for the rest of your life. And then, comes wedding planning. From photographers and makeup artists whose Instagram feeds are filled exclusively with thin brides, to the pressure around ‘looking your best for the big day,’ to dress shopping where most dresses run 3 sizes too big and sales attendants may make diet culture-y comments-there is a hot bed of triggers for those actively in eating disorder recovery. As an upcoming bride, eating disorder therapist, and individual who is recovered from my own eating disorder-I wanted to provide some coping tips for brides to be in recovery. ***It’s important to acknowledge that I live with thin privilege and while I can empathize, I cannot fully understand how difficult it must be to be a bride to be in a larger body in recovery (in our fat-phobic world). 1. Recognize that your body IS NOT the problem. The problem is diet culture and fat phobia in the wedding industry-and world at large. First off, it’s important to recognize that the wedding industry is a multi-billion-dollar industry. There are so many individuals and companies who stand to make a profit off of brides feeling terrible about their bodies. After all, if you felt great about yourself, you would not be tempted to sign up for a “bridal boot camp,” makeover package, or diet program. Thus, it’s important to recognize the diet-culture and body-shaming messages that you are being fed from the wedding industry. I know it may feel tempting to blame your body if sample size dresses aren’t fitting, you are struggling to find a dress you like (or in your size! I’m looking at you retailers who don’t carry larger sizes), or you are struggling with negative body image-however the problem is NOT and will never be your body. The problem is diet culture and cultural fat phobia, as well as the other systems of oppression. 2. Set boundaries as best you can with vendors, sales assistants, and family. Of course, it’s impossible to eliminate diet culture and fat-phobia from your life, so part of the work is going to be helping you to manage triggers as they come up. However, it’s also important to recognize that you deserve to be able to set boundaries with people who are on this wedding planning ride with you. For instance, you could call the bridal shop ahead of your dress fitting and ask that the sales associate not make comments on your weight or body. You also might set boundaries with family members who ask if you plan to lose weight for the wedding-or anyone who is putting lots of appearance based pressure on you. For instance, when I was trying on my wedding dress-the shop owner walked by and commented on how ‘slimming’ the dress was. I know if I was in a larger body, I potentially would have gotten more comments and THIS IS NOT OK. It’s ok and can feel empowering to stand up for yourself and set boundaries. Anyone who is commenting on your weight or body is simply demonstrating their own struggles and what THEY think about. 3. Come up with a cope ahead plan with your treatment team and get more support if you need it. In Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, one skill we might use is a cope ahead plan. This is where you can work with your therapist to think about upcoming potentially difficult situations i.e. dress fittings, cake tasting, and think about how you can best set yourself up for success when it comes to recovery. You might also consider reaching out for more support during this stressful time period i.e. a recovery coach (if you can access this). Part of your cope ahead plan could also look at the media you are consuming around the wedding industry. You action step here could include unfollowing toxic wedding industry diet culture on Instagram or Tik Tok for instance and adding in more positive wedding inspiration. 4. Reconnect with your true values vs. the eating disorder’s values. If you are struggling with eating disorder urges to want to try to ‘lose weight’ before our wedding, I would urge you to imagine yourself and your future partner in your 80s. When you look back on the wedding planning process, do you think you will be fondly reminiscing about skipping dinners out, obsessively exercising, crash-dieting, and being filled with guilt at your cake tasting? It’s far too easy to lose sight of the reason why you are getting married in the first place. Your wedding is a celebration of the love and commitment that you are making to another person. You are lucky to have found love and to be taking a huge step in your life. Instead of focusing on what you wish to change about your body, try to pay attention to the things that you have to be grateful for in the present moment and your true life values. I know this isn't easy, however you can work to practice mindfulness skills when eating disorder thoughts come up. If you are struggling with poor body image or increased eating disorder thoughts leading up to your wedding, you are certainly not alone in feeling this way. Instead of beating yourself up for this, try practicing some self-compassion. Self-compassion is simply extending the same kindness that you would to a loved one. It's understandable that you might be having a tough time during a very stressful period of your life. You are not broken and this doesn't mean that 'you'll never recover.' The Bottom Line Getting married is exciting AND the process leading up to it is stressful. During times of stress eating disorders love to try to swoop in and promise you ‘that they will help you to feel more in control.’ It’s important to remember that your eating disorder is full of false promises and lies. I know it’s not easy, however it is so worth it to practice leaning on healthier more values-aligning coping strategies in times of stress. If you are deeply struggling it’s so important to consider reaching out for professional help-as no one should have to struggle with this alone. Appearance based pressure and diet culture in the wedding industry is wildly problematic, however you can work to take your power back by doing everything that you can to not buy into it. Even if mentally this feels really difficult, you can work to take actions that are in alignment with your true values vs. your eating disorder’s values. Your worth and your value do not come from your appearance or body. And the person who is marrying you hopefully is not marrying you because of what you look like (if they are this is problematic). Your value lies in the kindness that you extend to others, the spark in your eyes when you laugh, the way that you pursue your passions, and your relationships. You are worthy of love and belonging. You are enough, just as you are. Book a free 15 min consultation for therapy or coaching The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, Pennsylvania, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
Kellie Zundel, MSW, LCSW, has now joined The Eating Disorder Center Team-expanding their eating disorder therapy services to Arlington, Virginia. Kellie is new to the team-but has multiple years of experience working in a residential eating disorder facility, working with individuals struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, orthorexia, and OSFED. Kellie provides therapy to clients with eating disorders virtually via video to individuals throughout Virginia-including those residing in McLean, Fairfax, Arlington, Alexandria, and Woodbridge. Contact us: https://www.theeatingdisordercenter.com/contact.html By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C As an eating disorder therapist, one common thing that I hear all of the time, is a person’s belief that they aren’t “sick enough” to have an eating disorder or to need eating disorder treatment. Eating disorders can often be “competitive illnesses.” For instance, your eating disorder may cause you to compare yourself to others who are struggling and will then tell you that you “aren’t sick enough.” Your eating disorder will say this in an effort to keep you trapped and under it’s control. Often for your eating disorder there is no “sick enough.” I’ve heard from people who were near death and still didn’t believe that they were ill. Additionally, some people with restrictive eating disorders struggle with something called “anosognosia” which is a brain-based lack of awareness, where essentially the individual is unable to see that they are ill. This is why it’s so important for concerned individuals to push their loved ones to seek treatment, even if the person declares that they are “fine.” Even if you don’t suffer from anosognosia, if you try to convince yourself that you are “fine” you do not have to take the scary steps towards recovery. So it makes complete sense as to why you might want to believe that “everything is ok,” even if it’s not. Unfortunately, there is also a lot of stigma and misinformation about what someone with an eating disorder “looks like,” or the signs that someone might be struggling. Individuals who are suffering might internalize some of these messages. So today, I want to make a few things clear. · Even if you are considered to be “normal weight” or “overweight” (according to BMI charts, which are hugely problematic and political, but I reference it here to make a point). · Even if you think that you are “too big” to have an eating disorder. · Even if you’ve never had a feeding tube. · Even if your eating disorder never landed you in the hospital. · Even if you “still eat meals.” · Even if you never had medical complications from your eating disorder. · Even if your labs appear “normal.” · Even if you have some days that feel easier than other days. · Even if you think that others “have it worse than you.” · Even if family and friends do not seem concerned about you. If you are struggling with a preoccupation with food and weight-you are “sick enough” and you absolutely deserve to seek treatment and help. Eating Disorder Myth-Busting. Eating disorders are mental illnesses, and we cannot tell how much someone is suffering on the basis of their physical appearance. Additionally, life-threatening eating disorders can impact people of all weights, body types, ages, ethnicities, genders, cultures, and socioeconomic statuses. They do not discriminate. Seek Help I don’t even think I could count the number of times that I’ve worked with clients who say, “but I can’t possibly have an eating disorder because I’m not underweight,” or “It can’t really be that serious because I look normal.” As a therapist, I work almost exclusively with people struggling with eating disorders and they come in ALL different body shapes and sizes. You cannot tell whether someone is struggling on the basis of their weight or appearance. If you have a voice in your head that convinces you to restrict your food, over-exercise, binge, purge, or engage in any other eating disorder behaviors, you are “sick enough” and you deserve to get help and support. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California and New York (NYC) serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Lauren Bickford As a lil gal I don’t remember a time I didn’t have options to eat a wide variety of foods. I think back to stories my parents filled me in on – the ones where I was about 3 years old and the babysitter received instructions that if I ever got too upset she should just give me some asparagus and I would be happy again. Looking back, even I am perplexed with this seemingly odd child. But then again, if more children were given unlimited permission to eat all types of food, their comfort food when mom & dad are gone might be a vegetable as well. This veggie-lovin trend continued as I was growing up. Olive Garden was always the restaurant I chose for my birthday lunch during elementary school, equally for the unlimited salad and the white chocolate raspberry cheesecake. YUM. During this time though, I started to become observant of the women in my life, of the SlimFast in refrigerators when I would go play at different friends’ houses, of the poking and prodding and sucking in and toning. It was confusing, but it was laying a foundation I would later have to chip away at. As I made my way into the oh so manageable (yeah right) world of junior high my relationship with food began to change. Backing up a little bit, it’s important to keep in mind I was born into a very tall, very slender-bodied family. I’ll never forget the day a boy sitting behind me in English class in 7th grade called me Annie. Now, I wasn’t great friends with him but we had worked in groups together and were in many of the same classes. I asked why he hadn’t called me Lauren, “Don’t you know my name by now?” I was embarrassed and ashamed when he said, “Yeah but you know… Annie… like anorexic.” What did this word really mean? I thought it was “bad skinny” but didn’t know much more about it at the time. So, I would need to change from being “bad skinny” or at least prove to people that I ate. And so, I ate, and ate, and ate. This transition period in my life included moving schools, changes at home, and the usual teenage drama. Amongst all the transitions, food was a constant. Food was comfortable. Food could make everything better. And food could be eaten in excess to a point of feeling numb both physically and emotionally. So, food became my solution. It wasn’t until high school and a well-meaning comment from a great aunt that I started to question the amount of food I would eat regularly. “You’re not so skin and bones anymore.” And so began my first dip into the diet culture pool. When I arrived at college I was welcomed into a sisterhood. Turns out, talking about how much you dislike parts of your body and how many calories you logged in an app is a great way to bond. I bonded. I learned to build a giant and boring salad, ask for plain grilled chicken from the burger station, make microwaved egg whites and broccoli almost palatable with enough salsa, and substitute most of the foods I liked with lower calorie, trendier alternatives. But I was also majoring in biology and learning about how micronutrients work in the body. I was hooked. Nutrition was cool. And maybe, just maybe, there was more to food than calories. I decided in a four-month period during senior year that I liked this whole food thing and was accepted into a graduate program. THIS is what I would do with my life. Grad school was every level of intimidating and confusing. I was surrounded by other individuals that understood food, how to manipulate it for a desired result, and were really heckin’ smart. I’m beyond thankful for the family that was created during this experience. My classmates meant more to me than a study group, and still do. Together we learned how food can help to manage a variety of disease states. We learned how a dietitian can be a crucial member in an athletics department to maximize performance. And we learned about the deadliest of mental illnesses – eating disorders. No matter how much information I consumed on how to utilize food as a tool, the relationship we have with food and the psychology of our food desires and choices was always of interest. My own relationship was evolving with food as well. The relationship was being cultivated rather than ignored; and my body was being nourished and cherished, rather than hated. My friend Emma (shout out Emma!) brought a book to class one day. It was called Health At Every Size. A few weeks later, she brought another book, Intuitive Eating. The more our “nutrish crew” family learned about these topics, and the impact weight-neutral and relationship-focused work can have on eating disorder incidence, the more I knew how I wanted to spend my time as a dietitian. During my first year as a dietitian, I got my first RD job, invested my free time in continuing education, and fell in love with behavioral health nutrition. In this new chapter of life, I found myself in a unique place where my food choices were no longer regularly being influenced by others. I learned which foods I really liked and missed out on in college. I learned which “health foods” I tried out with my nutrition family that I honestly didn’t really enjoy. My self-care became intentional and my plate became all mine. I was able to experience a sense of peace, freedom, and lack of judgement, with food that I hadn't before. This new era was a time I felt like I was finally able to do the dietetics work I had always wanted to. I also become certificated as an intuitive eating counselor. I quickly found out the one thing that makes working as a dietitian in behavioral health the best is that it goes beyond the plate. One of the biggest misconceptions I hear about eating disorders is that they are all about the food. I like to say as much as they are about the food, they're also not about the food. What i've found is that so often the plate becomes a reflection of what's going on in life. I was getting to learn so much more about the people I was working with and really support and encourage them. I got to thinking, is it possible to do just that? To be that person that adds the little something extra to the recovery experience? Turns out: that’s exactly what I find myself doing now. As an eating disorder recovery coach with The Eating Disorder Center, I’m able to supplement the outpatient recovery experience to help clients continue to improve their relationship with food and their bodies. To the people who challenge the truths I’ve come to learn about food and our relationship to it: thank you. You’ve helped me stay on my toes in this diet culture consumed world and better understand what my clients are up against. And to everyone else who actively supported me in getting to this beautiful place in my life: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California and New York (NYC) serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Megan Samuels, Intern for The Eating Disorder Center Eating disorders are often accompanied with behaviors. Some behaviors include restricting, binging, and/or purging. These behaviors can arise with intense emotions (such as sadness, loneliness, anger, etc.). Eating disorder behaviors are not “fun”. People struggling do not choose to use these behaviors, the eating disorder chooses and that is often already hard-wired into our brains. As the eating disorder evolves, it chooses certain ways to protect us from those intense emotions or anything in life that is too much to handle. An aspect in recovery that you may choose to work on with your therapist or treatment team is understanding the role that your eating disorder played in your life and how it protects/protected you, also acknowledging all of the harmful aspects of eating disorder behaviors. There are a couple of go-to strategies that I like to use, one of which being creating time between the urge and the behavior (also known as the action). This could mean when I recognize the urge to purge, I will decide to do five coping skills first. The hope is that some coping skills could help soothe the intense emotions and use the behavior with more time after the urge or not use the behavior at all. Some coping skills I like to use are coloring, collaging, knitting, texting a friend, and putting my weighted blanket on me. I often like to think of this skill as a pause button. For example, let’s say you get an undesirable grade on an exam. You begin to have feelings of anger (at how difficult the exam was) and disappointment (that you let your parents down). You decide that you are going to go to the nearest grocery store and buy a bunch of binge food and then eat all of it in one sitting. PAUSE (this is where the skill comes in). The first step is recognizing that you have an urge to use a behavior (in this case it is to binge). Next, I like to actually say the word “pause” out loud to myself. This can allow your body to slow down and realize that you have some control in the next few decisions that you make. Then, you separate urge and action. This could be telling yourself that you will call and talk to a recovery friend before going to the store. While you are on the phone with a recovery friend, you can practice talking through your anger and disappointment from the exam and you ride the waves of those emotions without feeling the need to go to the grocery store and binge. After talking to your recovery friend, you may feel much better and continue on with your day, acknowledging how proud you are of yourself for standing up to the eating disorder and working on your recovery journey. Give this skill a try for yourself and see what you think! **Please note that bingeing is a resilient response to coping-even if it's no longer serving you. Try to practice compassion for yourself if you do end up bingeing, rather than beating yourself up. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California and New York (NYC) serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C “It seems like I’m actually experiencing my feelings, now that I’m no longer bingeing and purging my emotions,” my client in recovery from bulimia shared. Eating disorders are believed to be caused by a combination of factors including, genetic, temperamental, and environmental influences. However, one thing that almost all of my clients with eating disorders have in common is difficulty in expressing, processing, and coping with their emotions. Emotional Avoidance and Eating Disorders Emotional avoidance, is described as actions that are intended to prevent an emotional response from occurring, such as fear, anger or sadness. People struggling with eating disorders often turn to their eating disorder behaviors in an unconscious effort to try to help themselves to “feel better” and to cope with difficult emotions or life circumstances. For instance, for many people struggling with anorexia, their response when it comes to coping with feelings of anxiety, sadness, or loneliness, is to restrict their food. This may give them a false sense of “control” and specialness. For individuals with bulimia, bingeing and purging provides them a momentary feeling of comfort, “control,” or relief. For people struggling with binge eating, eating often feels like “an escape,” comforting, calming, or a way to numb out. The reality is that eating disorder behaviors often provide short-term relief or satisfaction, and long-term feelings of increased depression, loneliness, and misery. Let Yourself Feel Eating disorder treatment involves a variety of tools and strategies for helping clients to reclaim their lives. However, one important element is helping them to learn how to identify, process, and cope with their emotions in ways that align with their life values. I often say to clients that trying to suppress our emotions, is kind of like trying to hold a beach ball under water. It takes a lot of effort and eventually the beach ball will fly up above the water with force. As a culture, we are often not taught to express our emotions. It’s important to share with clients that their eating disorder behaviors are often coping strategies that they are using for “self-soothing.” These behaviors may have helped them to get through some difficult and traumatic times, however they are also no longer serving them. With treatment and support, people with eating disorders can learn how to heal their relationships with themselves, food, and their bodies. They can also learn how to express and process their emotions, without the constant strain of trying to suppress or run from their feelings. Part of living a meaningful life is being able to experience all of one’s emotions, both pleasant and unpleasant. One of the great privileges of doing this work is being able to see the light return into someone's eyes, for them to be exploring their true passions and interests, for their brain space to be no longer ruled with thoughts about food and their body. Full recovery is completely possible. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California and New York (NYC) serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C Around the New Year we are inundated with diet-culture messages that emphasize a focus on “fixing yourself.” Each New Year many people resolve to “lose weight,” and “get healthier.” There seems to be an increased focus on joining the gym, dieting, and “lifestyle changes” (aka diets in disguise). For individuals in recovery from an eating disorder, the New Year can be a particularly challenging time. With everyone around you racing to join the nearest gym and obsessing about their new “clean eating plan,” it may be difficult to maintain focus on recovery and body acceptance. Plus, it's super hard when your eating disorder is validated over and over again by diet culture (whose main aim is making that money $$$). The following are three quick tips for navigating the New Year and staying on track in your eating disorder recovery. 1. Do a social media detox. Food related “detoxes” are a ridiculous waste of time and money. There is simply no scientific evidence to support the need for a “detox." If you’ve got a functioning liver and kidneys, they are already doing this job for you. However, there is one kind of detox that I support, which is a social media and diet-culture detox. Essentially, the first step is to go into your social media and unfollow or unfriend anyone that causes you to feel badly about yourself. Make sure that you remove any social media accounts that talk about weight loss, changing your body, dieting, “lifestyle changes,” and promote an unhealthy fixation with food and exercise. Next, you can go ahead and add in some body-positive, health at every size, and eating disorder recovery accounts. While you cannot effectively remove all aspects of diet-culture from your life, you can work to make your social media feed pro-recovery and body-positive. It can also be helpful to follow people who promote body-diversity and demonstrate that you CAN be happy at any size. 2. Set some pro-recovery, body-positive, and self-compassion related intentions. I’ll be honest in that I’m not really into the idea of New Year’s resolutions. First off, here’s simply not a lot of data to support that people actually stick to their resolutions. Additionally, I think that it’s helpful to utilize goal setting throughout the year. The New Year is a fresh start and a time to really think about your priorities and values. It can be helpful to use this time to set some goals/intentions that support your recovery. However, rather than setting goals for the whole year, I think that it can be more useful to set them for the next month or so. This feels less overwhelming to some people and can make it easier to stick to the intentions that you have set for yourself. Some ideas for pro-recovery goals to set could include challenging yourself to certain “fear foods,” working on practicing body-appreciation, and developing a more compassionate approach to yourself through your self-talk and self-care. 3. Reach out to your support system if you start to feel triggered. It’s important to practice self-compassion if you start to feel triggered around the New Year. Eating disorder recovery is tough, especially when everyone around you is racing to join the nearest gym and ranting about their new “diet” plan. However, with time and practice you can learn how to effectively manage your triggers and use healthy coping strategies. If you are starting to feel triggered to return to disordered behaviors, it’s crucial to reach out to members of your support network, which could include family, friends, and your treatment team. Eating disorders thrive on shame and secrecy, thus it is important to be open with the people in your life about what you are experiencing. No one should have to struggle alone and you deserve to have some support. If you are not meeting with a therapist-i'd highly encourage you to reach out to one who specializes in health at every size and eating disorders. Therapy can be a crucial part of healing from an eating disorder. The Bottom Line The New Year is an exciting fresh start and a great opportunity to refocus on your values and priorities. However, it can also be a triggering time for those in recovery from an eating disorder. Work to practice compassion for those who are still stuck in body-hatred and the diet cycle. When they say that they want to “lose weight,” often this is simply masking their true aim, which is to feel loved, accepted, safe, and joyful. Remind yourself that your worth is not found in your weight, eating habits, or your body. Additionally, people of all shapes and sizes are worthy of love and belonging. If you must make a resolution this New Year, the following are some things that you can work to lose (instead of weight).
Ultimately, talk back to that voice in your head that says that you 'aren't enough.' The voice that whispers that 'wouldn't things be better if you just lost a few pounds?' The one that argues, 'well other people are doing it-so why can't I?' Your eating disorder is lying to you. A focus on weight loss and shrinking yourself, only serves to shrink the rest of your life too. You are enough, just as you are. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California and New York (NYC) serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
By Megan Samuels, Intern for The Eating Disorder Center I’ve done a lot of grieving these past few months. As a college student, the end of a semester means leaving those classes, teachers, and daily patterns that grounded me the past few months. That was my normal. This is also the end of the year. Someone said, “See you next year!” to me and I realized that I haven’t processed the fact that 2019 is ending and we are coming onto a new year and a new decade. Saying goodbye to semesters and years is something that I have to do constantly. I make sure to dedicate a lot of self-care for myself during these transitions so I can think about and process the changes that are happening in my life and around me. Last week, I said goodbye to my dog. She battled with cancer for months and not even my tears throughout the last few days could bring her back. After talking to my therapist and many of my friends, I have solidified my intention to cope with all of this extreme grief with healthy coping skills, instead of using eating disorder behaviors. Some coping skills that I have developed include watching TV (I have decided to rewatch Friday Night Lights and One Tree Hill), getting a weighted blanket, journaling, and talking to friends when I need support. The extreme grief of my dog passing away is not something I have felt and had to personally deal with in a number of years. Losing a family member (which for my family includes a dog) is probably the hardest thing humans go through. I have talked with my therapist about the process of grieving. As a perfectionist, I wanted an outline of this process. I wanted to know what I had to do to get over these feelings and feel better. Similar to work that I’ve done to fight against my eating disorder, my therapist told me the biggest thing is looking inwards and asking myself what I need. That might mean starting a new book or working on graduate school applications, and this might mean crying in my room and looking at pictures of my dog. I realized how quickly I wanted to dismiss my feelings of grief, that included sadness, anger, and frustration. Even with knowledge of emotions and almost a bachelors degree in psychology, I still tried to push the feelings away. Grief is complicated and it is still something I am learning about. I know one thing for sure is that the feelings will bottle up and get worse if their needs are not met. This is similar to eating disorder recovery work. In order to cope with feelings, it is important to identify the feeling and sit with it and let it pass. For example, yesterday I started crying because I missed my dog. I sat down and questioned what I was feeling. I was feeling sad. Sad is a feeling and I don’t need to make it go away. I sat on my bed with pictures of my dog and a tissue box and felt the sadness. I didn’t fight it, I welcomed it throughout my body. A few minutes later (that felt like hours) the sadness passed and I continued on with my day. This experience proved to me that I am able to feel a feeling and let it pass. It is one thing to be told to let feelings pass or to be shown the wave of emotions. For me, I needed to experience it. I needed to see for myself that I could have a feeling that felt too unbearable to cope with and be able to sit with it and believe that it will pass. A key to the grieving process is letting myself feel any emotions that come to me, which can be difficult to do. I was packing for a vacation and remembered my dog not being here anymore and I had to stop what I was doing because I felt a sudden wave of sadness. I sat on the ground and let the tears stream down my face. It was liberating to be able to let my emotions express themselves and for me to tell them that I hear them and I support them. This will happen countless more times throughout my grieving process and throughout my life and I am thankful that I have the understanding of the importance of accepting my emotions in the present moment. The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California and New York (NYC) serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
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The Eating Disorder CenterWe are a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center in Rockville, Maryland. Archives
June 2022
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