How to Support a Friend Who Is Struggling With Eating Disorder Relapse

By Megan Samuels, MSW, LMSW, Outreach Coordinator

Relapse can be a natural part of recovering from an eating disorder.  If you are a friend or a loved one of someone who is struggling with an eating disorder relapse; these tips are for you.

1. Be there.

• Check in with your friend or loved one.  Ask them how they are doing.  Offer to get groceries for them.  Ask if they want to watch a movie with you.  Offer to drive them to their therapy session.  Just being there for the person allows them to know that they are not alone in this.  Allowing the person space to talk about what’s happening for them is crucial in being able to open the lines of communication between both of you. 
• Eating disorders can often isolate people from who they love.  As a loved one to someone with an eating disorder, the person struggling may pull away.  Ensure them that you are here for them and that you care about them.  Allow them space, but also check-in and see how they are doing (as much as they can tolerate).

2. Ask them what they need.

• I find this tip critical in supporting someone in recovery from any mental illness, not just eating disorders.  Humans are not mind readers and sometimes predicting what someone else may need can be more harmful than intended.  Instead, asking an open-ended question, such as, “How can I support you through this?” can allow your loved one to think about what they need from you to feel better.

3. Encourage them to be honest with their treatment team.

• Eating disorders often thrive in secrecy.  This can lead to loved ones not getting the appropriate care that they need for the behaviors and thoughts that they are having.  Try your best to encourage your loved one to let their treatment team know what behaviors they are engaging in and how often.  Sometimes, it can be helpful for a loved one to go to a therapy session with someone who is struggling to support them with having a conversation with their therapist about possible eating disorder relapse.
• Treatment teams often include (but are not limited to) a therapist who specializes in eating disorders, a dietitian, and a recovery coach.

4. Remind them that they are not where they started.

• Often when I work with clients struggling with eating disorders, they tell me that a relapse means going backwards in their recovery journey (which I don't believe is always the case).  I would tell them that a relapse does not erase all of the work that they have done.  A relapse just means that more support is needed to sustain recovery at this time.  The previous work they have done in their recovery is important, and should not be discounted!  

Here are some questions to have your loved one or friend consider or journal on if they are struggling with relapse from an eating disorder:

• What made you choose recovery in the first place?
• Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years (post eating disorder)?
• How is your eating disorder negatively impacting your life?
• What would you say to a friend if they were struggling with eating disorder relapse?

We have immediate openings right now for eating disorder therapy in:

   Maryland and Washington D.C.

 And recovery coaching worldwide.

Click this link to schedule a free 15 min consultation.

The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also provide eating disorder therapy in Arlington, Virginia and virtually throughout Virginia. Additionally, we offer eating disorder therapy virtually in New York (NYC), Florida, and California, serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Newport Beach, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com