By: Megan Samuels, Intern For The Eating Disorder Center
Friday June 7, 2019 was National Donut Day. I pulled up to Krispy Kreme with my parents and received a free donut that had chocolate icing and rainbow sprinkles. After I devoured the delicious round shaped pastry, I decided to reflect on my recovery journey, especially as it pertains to eating donuts.
Donuts used to be a major fear food for me. By fear food, I mean that society, diet culture, and my own internalized beliefs led me to put donuts in a “bad food” category. I avoided donuts at all costs before my recovery and if I did have one, I would have extreme feelings of guilt and shame afterwards.
Fast-forward to my recovery. I slowly learned to tackle eating donuts with my dietician. I started my eating it with a fork and a knife and then gradually moved to biting into the donut with my mouth. This transition from not eating donuts to eating a donut with my hands took time, effort, and patience. I remember at one point in my recovery I wanted to keep up my donut eating momentum so I stopped by the Dunkin Donuts near my apartment almost weekly and picked up a tasty, stylish donut.
Eating donuts just became normal to me. They are no longer categorized as a “bad food” to me. They will always be a “bad food” to my eating disorder, but I have become aware that my eating disorder thoughts are not my thoughts. My thoughts say that all foods fit and I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want.
Conquering the donut has taught me a lot about myself. I have learned that no matter what I set my mind to, it can be done. I have proved to myself that I can comfortably eat donuts, something I never thought would happen because my thoughts were so intertwined with my eating disorder that I couldn’t separate them.
I know look forward to, and crave, donuts. Instead of denying myself this craving, as I used to do, I stop by the nearest donut shop and get a colorful decorated donut that I know I will enjoy. I show my recovery that I appreciate it and that my live is worth more than saying no to certain foods.
I am excited for the food freedom that will come in the future with more time in recovery and more body respect and “all foods fit” mentality.
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The Eating Disorder Center is a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center founded by Jennifer Rollin. We specialize in helping teens and adults struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, OSFED, and body image issues. We provide eating disorder therapy in Rockville, MD, easily accessible to individuals in Potomac, North Potomac, Bethesda, Olney, Silver Spring, Germantown, and Washington D.C. We also offer eating disorder therapy virtually throughout California serving those in cities including Palo Alto, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Woodland Hills, San Jose, and Beverly Hills. We provide eating disorder recovery coaching via Zoom to people worldwide. Connect with us through our website at www.theeatingdisordercenter.com
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The Eating Disorder Center
We are a premier outpatient eating disorder therapy center in Rockville, Maryland.